21/04/2026
Short version:
The new proposals for Special Educational Needs reform, may mean that children will be expected to just survive, rather than thrive. If you have lived experience, please consider writing to your local member of parliament.
Long Version:
Dr Stephen Porges, the creator of Polyvagal Theory, has dedicated a career to studying trauma, emotional regulation, and the nervous system. He said that the more time a person spends trapped in a place that gives them feelings of danger, the less likely they are to ever be able to recognise anything as safe.
Thinking about that description, it is no wonder that developing children who are on the autism spectrum and having difficulty comprehending the world around them, spend a large amount of their lives in chronic fight-or-flight mode. The more this happens, the harder it is to help them with co-regulation as they may no longer perceive anything as ‘safe’ and that can include the people around them and even the people who love them.
Co-regulation is emotional regulation with the support of a partner, it can be as simple as a hug or mirroring some deep breaths.
Other sensory difficulties can mean that things within a normal everyday environment can trigger sensory overload, overwhelm, and eventually what we know as ‘meltdown’.
We know that excessive cortisol and chronic stress can actually re-wire the brain and have a huge impact on executive functioning. Executive functioning is everything that drives your behaviour; decision making, critical thinking, impulse control.
As a parent myself, who has been there, done that and got the well-worn, faded t-shirt, I completely understand and really feel for those families who are receiving pressure from local authorities to send their child into a school that is completely the wrong environment. How heartbreaking it is to know that every day, little-by-little your child is damaged by trauma upon trauma, because in their world, their nervous system recognises a busy, loud, overcrowded, non autism-informed classroom, as a place of danger.
You can’t train someone to not perceive something as a danger, when that ‘something’ to them, is almost painful.
We have to respect that perhaps for that child, that environment really is a big threat to their comfort, mental health, and ability to learn.
Imagine how it must feel as a parent, trying to protect your child from further trauma, fight the system to get an appropriate educational placement in place, AND at the same time have to deal with pressure from a local authority that wants to force your child with special needs to attend an inappropriate school, or else you as a parent could be prosecuted.
Just take a moment to imagine how desperate and stressful that would feel. Knowing that every single day your child comes home a little more broken, and then you are punished for protecting them from total mental breakdown.
‘Avoidance’ is a coping mechanism and it is considered a core symptom of CPTSD. Now, I’m not a doctor, and I’m not saying that every child avoiding school has CPTSD but I think that the authorities do need to understand that when someone is evading a place or situation, it’s for a reason!
If a child with sensory needs were offered an optimum learning environment, then I’m sure that going to school, with all its activities and facilities, would be more inviting than staying at home. But, unfortunately children are expected to survive in a far-from optimal learning environment. This leads to eventual inability to cope with going to school.
Local governments are placing children with significant special educational needs into mainstream placements where they do not have access to quiet spaces, frequent movement breaks, therapies, or enough 1:1 engagement to help them to thrive. Basically, children are expected to survive rather than thrive.
I really hope that you’ll share this message and if you have concerns about the current situation with SEND education and proposed reforms, please write to your local MP with your story. Even if it’s just a few lines, please make your experience known.
©️SENDsational mind body soul 2026
