Lisa Visram Therapy

Lisa Visram Therapy Child and Adolescent Therapist, who uses a combination of play, sand tray, person centred and CBT to meet the needs of the client.

Schools are back this week and while for some children and parents this brings excitement, the chance to see friends aga...
31/08/2026

Schools are back this week and while for some children and parents this brings excitement, the chance to see friends again see favourite teachers and enjoy their favourite subjects, but for others this can bring anxiety and worry.
A small amount of anxiety and worry is usual, with small thoughts about where they may sit, what will their new teacher be like, will the work be too hard?
However, for some children these worries can become overwhelming, this can become all encompassing and impact their ability to see any positives about starting school.
For those who are finding this week hard, I hope you are able to be patient with yourself and your child to be kind to yourselves and know you are not alone.
If you feel you and your child needs extra support please contact me.

I often find resting hard, for me if I am not doing something productive I am being "lazy", I often view resting as a re...
24/08/2026

I often find resting hard, for me if I am not doing something productive I am being "lazy", I often view resting as a reward something I will be allowed to do once all my jobs are completed.
Saying this out loud I know it sounds silly and illogical, I understand the importance on the mind and body to rest, this is something I am still working on within myself, to give myself permission to just sit and rest.
I hope you have had time to rest during the summer break.
I wonder what it is that you find difficult to allow yourself to do?

Sometimes we can get stuck on tracks of negative thoughts and ideas about ourselves, as human beings we are built to not...
10/08/2026

Sometimes we can get stuck on tracks of negative thoughts and ideas about ourselves, as human beings we are built to notice these negatives as survival, to keep us safe emotionally. Imagine getting a new hairstyle, you have lots of comments about how good it looks, and one negative, which one do you remember? These tracks can then become cycles, if we think that our new hair cut looks bad, we notice more negative comments or looks that confirm this thought.
Children and adolescents also often find themselves on these negative track, "everything is bad", "I'm not got at......", "I'm always getting in trouble", "I can never get to sleep", "I don't have any friends" once these thoughts are there, they are often then reinforced as they notice more signals, comments, cues that support them.
One thing that I have found helpful with my own children in combating some of these, was to find some time at the end of the day to name 3 positives from the day. These can be big or small, I always join in too. This can help your child to switch to a more positive track, it is aways nice to hear about things that have stuck in their mind and of course it is nice for your child to hear what you have enjoyed too. After a while you might notice that you and your child start to look for the positives so you have them ready to tell each other.
You can always alter the 3 things too, "something that surprised you", "something that made you feel good about yourself", "something you are looking forward to", "something that went better than you thought it would". I'm sure there are lots more.
A little warning, sometimes this can be a quick activity, but I have found that it can also take a little longer, as often the answers create great opportunities for discussions. I also find myself surprised at where the conversation ends up, and as a parent I find it lovely to hear some of my child's answers.

If you would like to give this a go, here are a few tips:
1. set aside time, these could lead to deeper longer conversations.
2. be prepared to answer the questions yourself.
3. try to stick to three questions to begin with, they could all be name a positive to make it simple.
4. sometimes the seemingly "small" things are just as meaningful as the "big" things.

As a parent it can be tricky knowing what to do or say to your child after a therapy session. It can be easy to assume t...
03/08/2026

As a parent it can be tricky knowing what to do or say to your child after a therapy session. It can be easy to assume they are having fun, especially if the session is play based, however these sessions can often bring up complicated, hard feelings that need time to be processed. Children therefore may be withdrawn and quiet after a session, or they may be bubbly and chatty, it really is impossible to predict. Giving your child space to process their therapy session in their own time, respecting their privacy and offering gentle support could help them to make the most of their therapeutic journey.

It can also be tricky to know when and how to relay information to the therapist that would be helpful, each therapist will have their own way of communicating with the parents/carers so it is important to check with them their preferred method.

Here are a few tips that you might find helpful if this is something you are struggling with.

Sometimes it feels like our children get louder and louder and tell us the same thing over and over, even when we think ...
27/07/2026

Sometimes it feels like our children get louder and louder and tell us the same thing over and over, even when we think we have sorted it out. This may be because we are missing something, they feel we have not heard them fully, sometimes it can help to pause and think about what they are really trying to tell us.
They often tell us about something that has happened and when we try to sort it out they still don't seem to "get over" it, this could be because it's more about how they felt in that moment, they might have been scared or sad or frustrated and this is the part that they need to have acknowledged and understood before they can move on.

The summer holidays can be fun, relaxing, exciting, a chance to spend time with the family. But it can also hard work, j...
20/07/2026

The summer holidays can be fun, relaxing, exciting, a chance to spend time with the family.
But it can also hard work, juggling childcare and work, dealing with the lack of routine, the late nights the extra treats. The "what are we doing today?" question and the expectations to have a great time and create memories.
So just a reminder that if you do find the summer holidays hard, you are not alone, and if you need to work and send your child to holiday club you are not alone. If you or your child struggle without the routine of school, you are not alone.
Summer holidays can be tough, and you will not be alone in thinking that, so please be kind to yourself, think about what you need to recharge your and your child's battery and what is draining it.

YET, a small but powerful word that can change mindset and help build resilience.
06/07/2026

YET, a small but powerful word that can change mindset and help build resilience.

The big question: “why now? Why have you decided to come to therapy?”This is a question I often ask clients and their pa...
29/06/2026

The big question: “why now? Why have you decided to come to therapy?”

This is a question I often ask clients and their parents within the first session, sometimes this is an easy question for clients to answer, sometimes something big has happened that has prompted them to seek therapy, sometimes things have been building up and something happened for them to think, enough I need to see someone about this.
But sometimes this can be a difficult question to answer, it may seem that there is no answer, that it is just a feeling you had that you need more support but can’t name why. Sometimes this question can provoke feelings of failure, of shame that you couldn’t sort things out on your own.
These are all natural and “normal” responses, and they are all acceptable and welcome in the therapy room. In the past I have had clients that simply don’t know why they need therapy, but know they need it, we work though these feelings using prompts, creative tasks and exploration. Some clients have cried through most of their initial session, crying with relief of being there, being seen, or from talking about their experiences, we work through this time together, regulating together. These responses are both ok, they are natural, “normal”, acceptable and welcome responses within the therapy room.
I wonder if there are any questions you have about therapy, what it looks like? what to expect? what is expected?

The power of listening.Imagine this: Your alarm didn’t go off, you wake up late, rush around, cursing yourself for not d...
22/06/2026

The power of listening.
Imagine this:
Your alarm didn’t go off, you wake up late, rush around, cursing yourself for not double checking your alarm. You jump in the car to go to work, and hit all the rush hour traffic, you sit there stewing getting more and more worked up, thinking about what you can tell your boss, how annoying it was that you didn’t check your alarm or check the traffic route before you set off, how you could’ve gone a different route to work.
You finally get to work and see a colleague, you start telling them about your nightmare morning, they quickly interrupt saying never mind you’re here now, don’t worry about it just get on with your work. Feeling shut down you go to your desk and start to do your work, you start to tell the person next to you about your morning, they start giving you solutions, the alarms you should try, the traffic app you should download and maybe you could work through your break to make it up, but these are just frustrating, you know what went wrong and how to fix it already!
Your boss comes in and sees you, they ask why you are late, you explain your morning, and apologise, they tell you its not good enough, you should’ve checked your alarm, you should’ve left earlier. You leave the conversation feeling utterly deflated, angry, frustrated.

I wonder how many times we could apply this scenario to a situation involving our children, I know I can, especially with my teenagers, if they make a mistake and tell me about it, I’m often quick to tell them what to do next time or how they should’ve done it, when really they have probably already worked those things out. This isn’t going to make them feel any better, in fact it is just going to cement those thoughts they may already be having about how they can’t do it, they aren’t good enough, while it may also make them less likely to come to me next time.

Going back to the scenario, now imagine going in to the staff room, getting a cup of tea and sitting down with another colleague, they ask how you are, you start to tell them about your morning, they sit with you, they listen, looking at you, nodding, grimacing, or occasionally saying “oh no”, when you’ve finished they sigh and say “wow that sounds like a tough morning how frustrating!” I imagine your shoulders may relax, you may let out a big sigh yourself, but most importantly you may feel heard, understood, valued.
Sometimes in our difficult moments we don’t need advice, told not to worry or shutdown, we need acceptance, someone to listen.

Children and young people need the same, if not more as they have not yet got the skills to regulate or control their emotions fully. Listening to their story, fully without interruptions and then naming the feelings that come from it can help them to understand their emotions and then they may begin to be able to manage them.

What to expect in a first session.Every therapist works differently, using their own style, resources, and techniques th...
15/06/2026

What to expect in a first session.

Every therapist works differently, using their own style, resources, and techniques that work best for them. Here is an example of what you might expect to happen in a first session in my private practice.
I will agree a time, day and location with the parent/carers that suit them and their child/adolescent, where possible this will become their weekly time slot for sessions.
In an initial session I like to invite the parents/carers to join for the first half of the, here I ask them and the child/adolescent some questions. Some of these questions are to help me build a bigger picture and others are more informational.
I also explain safeguarding and confidentiality, the limits and boundaries around these.
I talk about the resources we might use within sessions and how things might look on a weekly basis.
This is also space for the child/adolescent and parents/carers to ask any questions they may have.
Once we have been through the admin, introductions, information sharing and questions, I like to check in with the child/adolescent to see how they are feeling and if they feel comfortable for their parents/carers to leave.
The second half of the session is a space for the child/adolescent to explore the room, the resources I bring and to start to build a therapeutic relationship with myself.

If you would like more information about my practice please contact me.

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Headcorn
Ashford

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