10/09/2026
ASK THE QUESTION.
There is a question none of us ever wants to feel we have to ask someone:
“Are you thinking about suicide?”
It feels frightening. It feels uncomfortable. You might worry about saying the wrong thing.
But imagine being the person who has desperately wanted somebody to notice.
If you have genuine concerns about someone, find the courage to ask the difficult question.
And if they say yes, listen.
You don’t immediately need the perfect words. You don’t need to turn it into a two-way conversation about your own experiences. You don’t need to fix their entire life.
Give them space to speak.
Let them tell you what is happening inside their head. Take them seriously. Don’t judge them. Don’t minimise it. Don’t tell them everything they have to be grateful for.
Listen.
Sometimes the help that person needs will be beyond what you can personally provide, and recognising that is important. Your role isn’t to become their therapist. Your role might simply be to help them take the next step towards somebody who can provide the support they need.
And don’t assume you will always know who is struggling.
Sometimes there are signs. Withdrawal. Hopelessness. Changes in behaviour. Talking about death. Increased alcohol or drug use. Giving possessions away. Changes in sleep. Sometimes our gut simply tells us that somebody isn’t themselves.
But sometimes people hide their pain extraordinarily well.
That’s why we need to become more comfortable having uncomfortable conversations.
If you’re worried, ask.
If they speak, listen.
If they need help, help them reach it.
There are people and organisations ready to listen:
* Men Matter Scotland provides immediate one-to-one and peer support for men, including men experiencing suicidal thoughts or crisis. Men Matter Scotland
* Samaritans: 116 123, free, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. Samaritans Scotland
* NHS 24: call 111 and choose the mental health option if someone is suicidal or in crisis. If someone’s life is in immediate danger, call 999 or go to A&E.
For anyone wanting to understand the warning signs, how to start the conversation and what to do afterwards, this is an excellent resource:
NHS Inform: Offering support to someone you're worried is suicidal
Awareness matters. Conversation matters. Listening matters.
You don’t have to have all the answers to ask somebody a question that might matter enormously.
“Are you thinking about suicide?”
Don’t be afraid of the question.
Be more afraid of never asking it.
Just asking someone “are you feeling suicidal could save their life?”
