Be One Counselling

21/09/2026

What if overthinking isn’t really about thinking too much?

Sometimes, overthinking is the mind’s attempt to create a sense of control when something feels uncertain, threatening or emotionally unsafe.

Our nervous system is constantly looking for signs of safety. When we have experienced situations where uncertainty, conflict, rejection or unpredictability felt difficult to manage, we may learn to anticipate, analyse and mentally rehearse what might happen next.

We replay conversations.
We imagine different outcomes.
We search for what we might have missed.
We try to prepare ourselves for every possible scenario.

For a while, this can create the feeling that we are doing something to keep ourselves safe. But the more we think, the more activated we can become, creating a cycle that is difficult to switch off.

From a psychodynamic perspective, it can be helpful to become curious about what the overthinking is trying to protect us from. Sometimes the thoughts are not the real problem. They may be pointing towards deeper feelings, fears or patterns that have developed over time.

Therapy can provide a space to slow this process down, understand what lies beneath it, and gradually develop a different relationship with uncertainty.

You don't have to think your way into feeling safe. Sometimes safety begins with being able to feel, understand and process what is underneath the thoughts.

Be One Counselling | Sonia Phocas
www.beonecounselling.com

07/09/2026

September is Su***de Awareness Month

Sometimes, the hardest thing we can do is say, “I’m not okay.”
But talking can be the beginning of feeling less alone.

This month, let’s make space for honest conversations, listen without judgement and remind ourselves and others that help, support and hope are available.

If you’re struggling, you don’t have to carry it alone.
Reaching out is not a weakness.

It’s a step towards being heard and being supported.
You matter. Your story matters. There is hope.

***deAwarenessMonth

03/09/2026

https://lnkd.in/p/emk42Bis

There are many stages to burnout, unfolding gradually, each stage adding on to the next until it's too heavy to carry.

Burnout rarely arrives as a single event; it unfolds gradually, often beginning with a powerful internal drive to prove oneself. At first, this can feel energising, an almost urgent desire to demonstrate competence, reliability, or worth. Many people describe this early phase as a subtle tightening....

01/09/2026

The Psychology of Safety and Trust

As human beings, we are wired for connection. But meaningful connection can only grow when we feel safe.

Psychological safety is more than the absence of danger. It is the feeling that we can be ourselves without fear of judgement, rejection or humiliation. When we experience safety, our nervous system can begin to settle, our minds can become more open, and our emotions have room to be felt and understood.

Trust is built gradually. It grows through consistent experiences of being heard, respected and accepted. Trust cannot be demanded or rushed. It is earned, strengthened and nurtured over time.

In therapy, safety and trust create the foundation from which healing can begin. When we feel safe enough, we can explore difficult emotions, make sense of past experiences and begin developing healthier ways of relating, both to ourselves and to others.

Because sometimes, before we can move forward, we simply need a space where we feel safe enough to pause.

When safety and trust are present, change becomes possible.

24/08/2026

24/08/2026

Why sometimes love doesn’t feel safe to receive:

Sometimes the way we experience love as adults is shaped by what we learned about love as children.

If love felt not enough, we may learn to chase it, earn it or wait to finally be chosen.

If love felt too much, we may learn to manage other people’s emotions, avoid conflict and make ourselves smaller to keep the peace.

Different wounds, but the same underlying lesson:

“Love isn’t something I can simply receive. I have to work for it, or manage it.”

Healing can begin when we understand the old lesson and start discovering that adult love can be something different.

💚 What did you learn about love growing up?

18/08/2026

New article on the role of the psychotherapist on my blog:

Many people begin therapy expecting solutions, techniques, or answers to life's difficulties. While psychotherapy can provide practical tools, the role of the psychotherapist extends far beyond offering advice. The therapist serves as a companion in exploration, helping individuals understand themse...

17/08/2026

17/08/2026

When saying yes feels easier than saying no…

Let's talk about people-pleasing:

People-pleasing can sometimes look like kindness, but underneath it there may be a fear of disappointing others, being rejected or feeling guilty for putting your own needs first.

If you recognise yourself in some of these signs, perhaps it’s worth pausing and asking:

“What do I need?”

Looking after yourself isn’t selfish. Your needs matter too. 🤍

10/08/2026

Sometimes silence shouts the loudest.

Beneath the words we speak, there are feelings waiting to be heard, grief that has no language, fears that sit quietly in the background, and needs that often go unnoticed.

When we slow down and listen, not just to others but also to ourselves, silence can reveal what has been asking for our attention all along.

This week, give yourself permission to pause. Listen to the spaces between the noise. You may discover something important.