Sarah O’Callaghan Therapy

Sarah O’Callaghan Therapy Accredited CBT and EMDR psychotherapist
Parental Burnout Specialist
North East and Nationwide

One of the biggest misconceptions about intrusive thoughts is that they tell us something important about who we are.As ...
12/06/2026

One of the biggest misconceptions about intrusive thoughts is that they tell us something important about who we are.

As mums, it’s easy to get caught up in analysing them.

“Why did I think that?”
“What if it means something?”
“What if I act on it?”
“What if I’m not the mum I thought I was?”

But often, the thing that tells us more is not the thought itself. It’s the distress that comes with it.

The thoughts that tend to stick are usually the ones that go against what matters most. They latch onto the things we care about, value and want to protect.

That’s why so many loving, caring mums can find themselves tormented by thoughts that feel completely at odds with who they are.

Anxiety will tell you the thought is the problem.

But sometimes the fact that it upsets you so much is a clue that it doesn’t fit with your values at all.

A thought is not a character reference.

And the fact that it causes distress may say far more about the mum you are than the mum you’re afraid of being.

✨ Save this for the days when anxiety tries to convince you otherwise.

🌴☀️🌴☀️As a mum and therapist, I still get intrusive thoughts. Especially when I’m tired, away from routine, or my mind i...
09/06/2026

🌴☀️🌴☀️

As a mum and therapist, I still get intrusive thoughts. Especially when I’m tired, away from routine, or my mind is juggling responsibility and uncertainty. But also just randomly.

The brain is built to scan for threat, and when you care deeply about something (your children, their safety, being a “good” parent.

On holiday, mine showed up as: what if something happens? what if I miss something? what if I’m not doing enough?

The shift isn’t in stopping them but what you choose to do with them.

I didn’t stop my kids playing in the pool to make sure they didn’t get hurt. I didn’t stop going for a run in case I collapsed. I don’t google or ask Chat GPT whether I’m not parenting correctly.

Instead, I recognise them as mental noise from a threat system doing its job a bit too enthusiastically.

Not “this thought means I’m irresponsible”
Not “this thought means I’m a bad parent”

Just: a thought. A mental event. Something passing through.

And then to actually enjoy the holiday! ☀️🌴☀️🌴

Many of the mums I see tend to fall into two categories.The first are the mums who haven’t recognised that what they’re ...
08/06/2026

Many of the mums I see tend to fall into two categories.

The first are the mums who haven’t recognised that what they’re experiencing is OCD.

The second are the mums who know they’re struggling with anxiety and worry, but haven’t considered that it might be possible to think or respond differently because they’ve been so wrapped up in the fear for so long.

When most people think of OCD, they think of cleaning, handwashing or being super organised.

But for many mums, OCD looks more like constant doubt.

Wondering if you’ve missed something important. Checking symptoms repeatedly. Replaying conversations with teachers or doctors. Going over parenting decisions long after everyone else has forgotten about them.

OCD tends to target what matters most. For mums, that’s often their children’s health, safety and wellbeing.

What people don’t always see are the compulsions happening behind the scenes. The mental checking. The reassurance-seeking. The endless analysing and reviewing.

You might ask your partner, Google, a friend or a professional for reassurance and feel better for a while. But before long, the doubt returns and you’re searching for certainty all over again.

That’s because OCD isn’t really looking for reassurance. It’s looking for certainty.

And when it comes to the people we love most, certainty is impossible.

OCD isn’t about being neat or organised.

For many mums, it’s about fear, responsibility and never quite being able to trust that things are okay.

If you’re recognising yourself in this post, save for a reminder next time you feel this way.

➡️Can we talk about some of the unhelpful messages that get recycled on social media? ⬅️“If you’ve lost your patience wi...
05/06/2026

➡️Can we talk about some of the unhelpful messages that get recycled on social media? ⬅️

“If you’ve lost your patience with your children, look at their tiny hands and remember they’re only little for a short time.”

“You only get 18 summers with your kids.”

And that video where the mum turns around to tell her arguing children to stop fighting in the back of the car… only to realise they’re all grown up and gone.

I know they’re meant well, but for many parents they don’t inspire gratitude. They create pressure.

Pressure to make the most of every moment and cherish every stage. Pressure to enjoy the very moments that are often testing us to our limits.

And underneath it all is the message:

“One day you’ll miss this.”

Maybe.

But right now, you’re allowed to find it hard.

This holiday reminded me how easy it is to fall into the trap of wondering whether we’re making the most of it.

My children are older now. The challenges are different. There were lazy mornings, arguments, boredom, eye rolls and moments that looked nothing like the highlight reels we’re sold online.

And yet those moments count too.

No wonder so many mums with OCD feel such a huge burden of responsibility.

When you already struggle with doubt and the fear of getting it wrong, these messages can become another impossible standard.

The burden of parenting is heavy enough without feeling responsible for perfectly experiencing every moment of childhood too.

Maybe we don’t need to treasure every second.

Maybe we just need to live it.

When people think about exhaustion in motherhood, they often picture sleepless nights, tantrums, endless laundry, and th...
04/06/2026

When people think about exhaustion in motherhood, they often picture sleepless nights, tantrums, endless laundry, and the physical demands of raising children.

But there’s another kind of exhaustion that’s rarely talked about.

The exhaustion of a mind that never switches off.

The endless analysing.The replaying of conversations.The second-guessing of decisions.The responsibility OCD convinces you to carry for every possible outcome.

Parenting is already filled with uncertainty. There are no guarantees, no perfect decisions, and no way to know for sure you’re getting everything right.

For someone with OCD, that’s a particularly difficult place to live.

Because OCD doesn’t just want you to be a good parent.

It wants certainty that you’re a good parent.

And that’s a standard nobody can meet.

If you’re parenting with OCD and feeling completely depleted, there may be a reason you’re so tired that has nothing to do with sleep.

❤️ Save this post for the days you wonder why you’re exhausted.

I remember having my first and nobody warned me that they just don’t always go back to sleep after a feed!Pacing the flo...
03/06/2026

I remember having my first and nobody warned me that they just don’t always go back to sleep after a feed!

Pacing the floor, willing them to settle again, while they’re just… awake. For what feels like no reason.

I feel like there are a few hidden truths about having a baby that no one really talks about. Or maybe we just subconsciously forget until we’re back in it again.

Another one is intrusive thoughts with a newborn. Not spoken about out of shame and believing that they mean something terrible about ourselves or our ability as a parent.

👉What if they stop breathing and I don’t realise?

👉What if I fall asleep and something happens?

👉What if I’m too exhausted tomorrow and I can’t cope?

👉What if I harm them and I don’t realise?

Intrusive thoughts are something we all get. Random, unwanted, often ridiculous thoughts that pop in and out. You probably didn’t notice them when you weren’t a parent as suddenly the weight of responsibility hits different, and it feels too risky to not pay attention to such thoughts.

‼️The difference is what we do with them next‼️

If we start treating them as meaningful or dangerous, our brain starts paying attention. Checking, reassuring and avoiding. Trying to solve them or get control over them.

➡️Save this post as a reminder of what’s actually ‘normal’ when you next have that wave of panic or dread amongst the chaos of a newborn ⬅️

Worries in motherhood are often transient.One worry feels solved…and another one quickly pops up in its place.So it’s no...
26/05/2026

Worries in motherhood are often transient.

One worry feels solved…and another one quickly pops up in its place.

So it’s no surprise that now the sun’s been out for a couple of days, this has become a familiar conversation in my therapy room with mums with contamination OCD.

“The thing I can’t get over is how other mums DON’T seem to be thinking the same way.”

How are they not worrying about the ingredients?
How are they not researching it all?
How are they able to relax at the beach whilst you’re mentally calculating risks the entire time?

And the frustrating part is… you don’t WANT to think like this.

You wish you could just grab the sun cream, enjoy the sunshine and move on.

But when you’re responsible for making decisions for your child, how are you supposed to not worry?

That’s often the trap OCD creates in motherhood.

It convinces you that good parenting means preventing every possible harm.That if you stop worrying, stop researching or stop checking… you are being irresponsible.

So while other people see ‘just sun cream’, your brain sees threat, responsibility and guilt.

The more responsible you feel, the more impossible it becomes to switch off.

And because OCD targets the things you care about most, motherhood can become one long internal risk assessment.

Save this post if your brain turns everyday parenting decisions into impossible responsibility ☀️

🍾🎉Celebrating the end of 22 years of NHS service this weekend and feeling mixed emotions as I reflect on the many places...
08/03/2026

🍾🎉Celebrating the end of 22 years of NHS service this weekend and feeling mixed emotions as I reflect on the many places I’ve worked and roles I’ve had - while also excited to step fully into self-employment.

From a part-time role in pathology labs while finishing my first degree, to care work with people with complex disabilities, training as a mental health nurse, working in forensics and children’s services, and stepping into clinical leadership - before returning to university a third time to train as a therapist. Each of these roles has shaped me and made me the therapist I am today.

Over the last two years I’ve been building my own private practice alongside NHS work. As demand has grown, I’ve learned that doing both isn’t sustainable. Burnout has been real, but it has also allowed me to save enough to take on this next project — though I know too well how working at this level can be harmful.

On this International Women’s Day, I’m taking a moment to practice what I preach. I’m proud of how far I’ve come, excited to step into a new adventure: , and looking forward to what comes next. My existing work and clients will transfer to the new premises, where we’ll continue offering therapy alongside a wider range of support through our amazing associates.

Change can feel daunting, but it’s also the space where growth happens — and I’m ready for it. 🌿

If you’re a perfectionist mum, you probably don’t experience parenting as “doing your best”.You experience it as carryin...
16/02/2026

If you’re a perfectionist mum, you probably don’t experience parenting as “doing your best”.

You experience it as carrying the responsibility for how everything turns out.

For their confidence.
For their emotional wellbeing.
For their friendships.
For their future.

And when your brain assumes “If something goes wrong, it will be because I missed something”, parenting stops feeling like guidance… and starts feeling like risk management.

In CBT, we call this responsibility bias — a thinking pattern where we overestimate how much control we have and how much blame we would carry if things aren’t perfect.

It doesn’t mean you care too much.
It means your mind is treating parenting like a system that must be optimised, monitored, and protected at all times.

No wonder you feel exhausted.

If this resonates, you’re not alone — and this is very workable in therapy.

💬 Tell me in the comments: do you tend to overthink decisions before they happen, or replay them after?

📩 Or message me if you want support with perfectionism, parenting anxiety, or the mental load that comes with trying to get everything “right”.

Address

Quadrus Business Centre
Boldon
NE359PF

Opening Hours

Monday 9am - 5pm
Wednesday 9am - 5pm
Thursday 9am - 8pm
Friday 9am - 5pm

Telephone

+447859095020

Website

Alerts

Be the first to know and let us send you an email when Sarah O’Callaghan Therapy posts news and promotions. Your email address will not be used for any other purpose, and you can unsubscribe at any time.

Contact The Practice

Send a message to Sarah O’Callaghan Therapy:

Shortcuts

Share

Category