31/05/2026
It’s devastating to lose a child, yes even an adult child, especially by su***de, because that is the worst way to lose them as we question what we could have done more of.
They aren’t supposed to go before us.
Not the one you carried, taught to walk, watched grow, and stood beside them as they became their own person.
Losing an adult child is a sorrow few can fully understand.
The world often forgets that no matter how old our children get, they are still our baby.
We carry every version of them inside us….the toddler with sticky fingers, the teenager with big dreams, the adult still figuring life out.
And when they are gone, it's every one of those versions we mourn, even more.
We lose not just their physical presence, but their voice on the other end of the phone, the text that said "Momma, I made it home," or “Momma I love you”!
You lose the plans that would have unfolded over years. You lose their future, and a piece of your own future.
Grief after losing an adult child is quiet but heavy. You might still go to work, smile in public, cook dinner, in attempts to live life! But the ache never fully leaves.
You find yourself reaching for a phone call that will never come, scrolling through photos, or whispering into the silence, "God how I miss you."
I’m learning that there is no timeline for grief and no right way to carry it.
So I attempt to be gentle with myself even when others, who don’t know this grief, are so.
I will always speak his name. I will always share memories about his life.
I will forever let his memory live in my every breath.
Even though he is no longer here, the love I have and carry for him remains. And I promise you it always will!
DannyFE32