Insight & Connection

Insight & Connection Catherine Topham Sly - Relationships after kids therapist, writer & speaker. Hello, I’m Catherine Topham Sly. I’m a therapist, writer, and speaker.

Supporting couples with practical tips that work, to communicate better, resolve resentments and enjoy more intimacy. Relationships are my thing. Maybe you’re reading this because you’re having trouble with yours? I’m glad you’ve found your way here, and I would love to see how I can help. I specialise in helping couples to reconnect after they have kids, and stay close for years to come. Usually,

that means improving communication, finding a path to understanding each other better, and enjoying more intimacy. I work with individuals and couples, online and in my hometown of Brighton and Hove, on the south coast of England. I’m a bit of a geek, and all of my work is grounded in years of research into what makes a healthy, satisfying relationship. Are you ready to get back to enjoying yours? Get in touch https://insightconnection.uk/contact/

The annoying thing about “Have you seen my keys?” isn’t actually the question.It’s everything the question represents in...
08/09/2026

The annoying thing about “Have you seen my keys?” isn’t actually the question.

It’s everything the question represents in that moment.

You’re already packing bags, looking for water bottles, preparing snacks, keeping an eye on the children…

And here comes another mental load demand?! 😠🙅🏽‍♀️

Do you start looking for the keys? Get stroppy? Both?

These are the kinds of moments when it really helps to pause and ask yourself what *you* need.

What’s going to get you closer to the kind of partnership you crave in the long-term?

Maybe you need a conversation about who does what when you’re getting ready to leave the house?

Maybe you need to pay more attention to the resentment that’s been building for weeks or months?

The point is, you can’t really change what happens between you until you’ve recognised what’s happening *inside you* (and not just the surface irritation, but the deeper feelings).

The arguments we have with our partners often start long before either of us says a word.

And it makes sense to assume that because the conflict happens between us, the solution must live there too.

But if I’m not listening to my emotions, recognising what I need, or paying attention to the patterns I keep repeating, they’ll influence the conversations I have with my husband, whether I realise it or not.

And sometimes that looks like solving problems that were never yours to solve 👀

I help mums who want to stop feeling like they have to choose between staying quiet and starting an argument.

Together, we build the self-awareness, boundaries, and communication skills that create that third option.

Because changing your relationship with yourself changes the way you experience every other relationship in your life.

That’s what we do inside Love Happy Live Free, my coaching programme for mothers who want calmer, closer, more connected relationships - whether their partner joins them or not.

If this resonated, save it for the next time you find yourself stuck in the same old pattern.

Comment or DM me COACHING if you’re ready to develop these skills 💌

And if you’d like to see more of my posts, tap Relationships After Kids Therapist & Coach Catherine Topham Sly → ‘following’ → ‘add to favourites’ ⭐️

Holidays don’t create relationship problems, they magnify them.The logistics when we’re in an unfamiliar environment and...
02/09/2026

Holidays don’t create relationship problems, they magnify them.

The logistics when we’re in an unfamiliar environment and routine 😩

Someone has to remember the passports, the snacks, the sun cream, the swimming costumes, what everyone will eat, who’s been to the loo...

If one of you usually carries most of the invisible mental load, it suddenly becomes much harder to ignore.

That’s why couples often end up arguing about things that might seem on the surface pretty trivial.

The meaning behind the beach bag is actually something more like:

“Do you see everything I’m carrying?”

“Can I rely on you?”

“Are we a team?”

But I think we need to be careful about jumping straight to the label “weaponised incompetence”.

Sometimes people really are avoiding responsibility.

But often what we’re seeing is years of differing experience, assumptions, and standards.

These create habits, and habits become expectations.

These patterns can be intensely frustrating, especially when we start arguing about whose fault it is.

Understanding how you got there is far more useful...

But knowing how to get out of it is the most important thing of all 🌟😅

Because the moments when we feel resentful are about so much more than the beach bag.

Resentment is a messenger. It tells us that something about the relationship doesn’t feel fair. The question isn’t, “Who’s right?” It’s, “How did we end up here, and what would help us become more of a team?”

Lasting change comes from recognising the patterns underneath, listening to what resentment is trying to tell you, taking your own feelings and needs seriously, and responding differently instead of reacting from them.

I’m curious…

Have you had some of your worst arguments on holiday? (or is it just us? 🫣)

And did it make you realise something needed to change, or did you just go home and get back to “normal”?

If you’re ready to make a change, comment RESET and I’ll send you my free 7-step action plan out of resentment 💌

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Brighton And Hove

Opening Hours

Monday 9:30am - 3pm
Tuesday 9:30am - 3pm
Wednesday 9:30am - 3pm
Thursday 9:30am - 3pm

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+447428396671

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