Emily Kyte Therapy

Emily Kyte Therapy Psychotherapeutic counsellor
Brighton & Hove & online
Passionate about the person-centred approach.

One of the questions I'm asked quite often is whether I'll work collaboratively or whether I'll mostly sit back and list...
15/07/2026

One of the questions I'm asked quite often is whether I'll work collaboratively or whether I'll mostly sit back and listen.
It's a good question, and one that many people ask because of previous experiences they've had in therapy.

For some people, simply having someone listen without judgement is exactly what they need. For others, they reach a point where they want something more, but not necessarily advice.

I've been reflecting on what collaboration means to me as a person-centred therapist. I don't see my role as telling people what they should do, but neither do I think therapy is about quietly nodding while someone talks.

Instead, I hope to stay alongside my clients in a way that helps them understand themselves more deeply and discover their own capacity to move forwards.
I've written a little more about this in my latest blog if you'd like to read it.

There are some things you don't know about me...If you've ever looked at a therapist's social media, you might have wond...
10/07/2026

There are some things you don't know about me...

If you've ever looked at a therapist's social media, you might have wondered why some share lots about their personal lives while others share very little.

In my latest blog post, I reflect on why I choose to write openly about person-centred therapy and the values that guide my work, while keeping much of my personal life off social media. For me, it comes down to something that's central to my way of working: giving clients as much choice as possible.

If you'd like to know more about the thinking behind that decision, you can read the blog by following the link in my bio. 🔗

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*"Does therapy really happen between equals?"*As person-centred therapists, we often talk about trust, acceptance, and t...
08/07/2026

*"Does therapy really happen between equals?"*

As person-centred therapists, we often talk about trust, acceptance, and the healing potential of relationship.

But Gillian Proctor encouraged us to ask a more uncomfortable question:

**What about power?**

It can be tempting to believe that because we value equality, power differences disappear in therapy. But Proctor argued that power is always present in helping relationships. Therapists hold knowledge, professional status, and often control aspects of the therapeutic setting. Clients may arrive in distress, seeking support, or feeling vulnerable.

Ignoring these realities doesn't make them go away.

For me, Proctor's work is an important reminder that being person-centred isn't about pretending power doesn't exist. It's about becoming more aware of it.

How might my role influence what a client feels able to say?

Whose assumptions are shaping what is understood as "healthy" or "normal"?

How do wider social inequalities – such as gender, race, class, disability, or sexuality – enter the therapy room with us?

Rather than seeing power as something one person simply *has*, Proctor described it as dynamic and relational, influenced by the wider contexts in which therapy takes place.

I think this awareness matters far beyond therapy.

In our everyday relationships, workplaces, and communities, how often do we pause to consider the power we hold – and how we choose to use it?

Perhaps being person-centred isn't just about offering empathy.

Perhaps it's also about remaining curious, accountable, and willing to examine the systems and relationships we're part of.

I'd love to hear your thoughts: What changes when we acknowledge power, rather than pretending it isn't there?

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When I first began to learn about the different theories and modalities within the world of psychotherapy, there was one...
02/07/2026

When I first began to learn about the different theories and modalities within the world of psychotherapy, there was one piece of theory that helped me see myself in a new way, which I haven't been able to unsee since...

It was Carl Rogers' theory about 'conditions of worth'. He suggests that conditions we learn in our early years and throughout our lives contribute to the way we see ourselves. We go through life believing we must meet these conditions in order to have worth, or to be accepted by others.

I've certainly experienced having strong conditions that I feel I must meet to be accepted in different areas of life- sometimes these conditions even take control of the decisions I make and the way I perceive myself.

Conditions of worth can run deep, and working with them therapeutically is not simply a case of telling a client they ought to let go of them. Instead, person-centred therapists offer clients 'unconditional positive regard'- a potentially 'curative condition' (Bozarth) that helps something shift within the client. Imagine who you could be if the person sitting in front of you offered you acceptance, no matter what... 🌱🪻

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*"What does it really mean to be non-directive in therapy?"*It's a question I've spent a lot of time reflecting on.An id...
29/06/2026

*"What does it really mean to be non-directive in therapy?"*

It's a question I've spent a lot of time reflecting on.

An idea from Margaret Warner that has shaped the way I think about therapeutic presence is her description of different **levels of interventiveness**.

Warner suggested that responses can vary in how much they influence the direction of the conversation. At one end are interventions that stay very close to the client's frame of reference, such as reflecting what has been heard and understood. At the other end are interventions that introduce more of the therapist's perspective, such as interpretations, advice, or directing the focus of the session.

What I appreciate about this idea is that it moves us away from thinking about therapy in black-and-white terms: either "doing nothing" or "taking charge."

Instead, it invites us to ask:

**Whose agenda is leading here?**

As a person-centred therapist, this question matters to me. The aim isn't to be silent or mechanical. It's to remain thoughtful about how my responses might shape the client's process.

Sometimes the most powerful thing I can offer is a response that stays close to the client's own meanings, allowing them space to explore, discover, and make sense of their experience in their own way.

In a world full of opinions, advice, and people telling us who we should be, there can be something deeply significant about having a relationship where your own voice is given room to emerge.

It leaves me wondering:

How often, in our everyday relationships, do we make space for someone else's experience without immediately steering them towards our own understanding of it?

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Warner, M. (2000), Person-centred psychotherapy, one nation many tribes. 'The person-centred journal' 7(1)

Have you ever had someone insist they knew what was best for you?Sometimes it comes from a place of care. Sometimes expe...
22/06/2026

Have you ever had someone insist they knew what was best for you?

Sometimes it comes from a place of care. Sometimes expertise. But even with good intentions, it can leave us feeling disconnected from ourselves.

An idea from person-centred practitioner Barry Grant that has really shaped the way I think about therapy is the distinction between **instrumental** and **principled non-directiveness**.

Instrumental non-directiveness is when a therapist chooses not to direct because they believe it's the most effective technique for helping someone change. Non-directiveness becomes a strategy.

Principled non-directiveness comes from a different place. It is rooted in a belief about the person and the nature of the therapeutic relationship: that each person is the expert on their own experience, and has the right to determine the direction of their own life.

This idea challenged me to think carefully about *why* I do what I do in the therapy room.

Am I withholding advice because it's a useful intervention? Or am I trusting that people have both the capacity and the right to find their own way, even when that path isn't the one I might choose?

For me, principled non-directiveness isn't about being passive or detached. It involves deep engagement, empathy, and a willingness to stay alongside someone without taking over.

In a world that often tells us who to be and what to do, there is something quite radical about being met by another person who trusts your capacity to make sense of your own experience.

I'm curious: when you've been struggling, what has felt more helpful – someone offering solutions, or someone helping you hear yourself more clearly?
🌱

Grant, B. (1990). Principled and instrumental nondirectiveness in person-centered and client-centered therapy. Person-Centered Review, 5(1), 77–88

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'You're a therapist... so you've got life sorted, right?' 👀...(CW: disordered eating)I hate to disappoint you, but... I ...
18/06/2026

'You're a therapist... so you've got life sorted, right?' 👀...

(CW: disordered eating)

I hate to disappoint you, but... I can be a people pleaser. I sometimes find it hard to ask for what I need. I can be conflict avoidant. And I don't always say the right thing to the people I love...

I struggle with body image, eating and exercise. I've come a long way from the younger version of me who needed control over her body, but I still struggle sometimes...

A supervisor once told me: "To be a good therapist, you don't have to be perfect, you just have to know yourself.' She taught me that being a therapist is not about modelling a 'perfect' life...

It's just about knowing yourself well enough to be present for your clients without your own stuff getting in the way. It's about creating a relationship where someone can explore who they are without judgment, and maybe discover that they don't have to be perfect either.
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'Person-centred therapists just repeat your last words back to you'... is a common misunderstanding of the person-centre...
13/06/2026

'Person-centred therapists just repeat your last words back to you'... is a common misunderstanding of the person-centred approach. It's a mistake that even some therapists make, and it's resulted in a misconception about a 'technique' called 'reflection' which has been taken and used in different therapies and coaching techniques- to help clients hear their words mirrored back to them, and to support them to clarify their thinking.

But even the idea of using a technique to produce a certain result for a client is fundamentally at odds with the values of a person-centred approach, here's why:

🌱A person-centred therapist aims to listen and to try to understand, not to 'do' something 'to' a client
🌱A person-centred therapist avoids taking up power over their client- that includes using techniques 'on' the client or deliberately leading or advising the client
🌱The process of therapy involves offering the client a quality of attention and response which evolves from moment to moment- rather than being systematic or manualised

So- sometimes I repeat my client's words back to them- perhaps to ask for some clarification, or maybe to check if I have heard correctly... but never to deliberately lead them to my chosen outcome.

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Some therapies sell. Person-centred therapy works.OK, it’s a provocative statement, and certainly not universally true, ...
08/06/2026

Some therapies sell. Person-centred therapy works.

OK, it’s a provocative statement, and certainly not universally true, but hear me out.

I’ve noticed that some styles of therapy offer the seductive promise of diagnosing your issues. They can help you feel that your struggles have a name and therefore, perhaps, a solution. Some approaches label the patterns and dynamics you find yourself caught in, allowing you to think: “I wasn’t imagining this after all. It’s a real thing”, maybe even with a fancy diagram to go with it.

But for many people, the relief stops there.

I’ve met clients who have come from previous therapies saying that, while they understand themselves better now and have useful labels for their experiences, they still don’t know what to do next. Or the tools they were given haven’t worked in the way they hoped.

Person-centred therapy is different. It isn’t focused on finding academic terms to prove your experience is real. A person-centred therapist already understands that your experience makes sense because of who you are and what you’ve been through.
Their role is to help you feel deeply understood through genuine acceptance, empathy, and a real effort to understand what it means to be you.

What I’m describing here may not sound as immediately enticing as posts like “10 ways to know you’re in a drama triangle” or “5 signs you’re dating a narcissist.” But I believe person-centred therapy offers something deeper: the conditions that allow us to lower our defences, reconnect with ourselves, and grow.

If you'd like to learn more about how this works, take a look at my website (link in bio 🔗) or get in touch via email: [email protected]

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Fiveways Hub
Brighton And Hove
BN16JG

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