21/03/2026
A great post by Mike Mandel, definitely worth the read!
I've noted some really reprehensible treatment of women by the Pick Up Community, as they manipulate hormones like cortisol, serotonin, dopamine and oxytocin to create romantic interest, and above all, sexual attraction. If people want to hook-up at an event, that's their own business. But some of my friends and students have been targeted by these slimeballs, and I want to arm women against them. That's why I put this document together: I hope it is useful for somebody.
Here's the hormonal science behind it, for those who wish to go further in understanding what happens. It's shareable with anyone too:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/13aC1d56CTcp9LTPmWzTYk-9CilHd2_Pjraf2-6l9CTQ/edit?usp=sharing
Pickup Manipulation Red Flags Handout
Protecting Yourself From Pickup Manipulation
This guide helps you recognize common psychological tactics used by the pickup community. These tactics are designed to influence emotions quickly and create artificial attraction.
Key idea:
Healthy attraction grows slowly through comfort, respect, and consistency. Manipulation creates confusion, pressure, and emotional turbulence.
The 7 Red Flags of Pickup Manipulation
1. Confidence Underminer: A compliment wrapped in an insult. Examples: You are pretty confident for someone like you. You would be really attractive if you dressed better.
Purpose: Lower your confidence so you seek his approval.
What to do: Do not engage with the insult. You do not need to prove yourself to anyone
Emotional Rollercoaster: Strong interest followed by sudden withdrawal.
Examples: Warm and flirty, then cold or dismissive.Interested one minute, distant the next.
Purpose: Create emotional uncertainty so you chase validation. What to do: Value consistency. If it feels unstable, step back
Instant Intimacy: Pushing closeness very quickly.
Examples: I feel like I have known you forever!
Sharing deep personal stories right away. Intense eye contact
to force connection.
Purpose: Trigger bonding feelings before trust exists.
What to do: Slow things down. Real intimacy takes time
Early Physical Escalation:
Touch increases quickly early on. Examples: Touching your arm or shoulder. Guiding you by the back. Long hugs or hand holding right away.
Purpose: Normalize touch and lower resistance.
What to do" Set boundaries immediately if it feels off. Step back or say no
Manufactured Jealousy: Showing that other women want him. Examples: Flirting with others in front of you. Talking about how many women are interested in him. Showing off attention from others.
Purpose: Create competition so you value him more.
What to do: Do not compete. Genuine interest does not require a performance
Fantasy Future. Talking about a shared future very early. Examples: We should travel together. You would love my place at the lake. You and I would be dangerous together!
Purpose: Create emotional bonding through imagination.
What to do: Treat early future talk as entertainment, not reality
Isolation From Your Support System: Trying to separate you from friends early.
Examples: Let us go somewhere quieter... Come outside with me for a minute... Let us leave your friends and go somewhere else...
Purpose: Reduce your support and increase influence.
What to do: Stay with your group unless you choose otherwise.
Simple Rule: If someone creates confusion, pressure, or emotional turbulence quickly, slow the interaction down. Healthy connections feel calm, respectful, and clear.
Three Questions That Break Manipulation
These questions shift control back to you and expose unclear or manipulative behavior.
"What exactly do you mean by that?"
Use when you receive a backhanded compliment or unclear comment. It forces clarity and removes the hidden jab
"Why would you say that to someone you just met?"
This brings the behavior into the open and makes manipulation uncomfortable to continue
"Are you trying to impress me or get to know me?" This resets the interaction and puts responsibility for honesty back on him
Final Reminder: Manipulation depends on speed and confusion. Confidence comes from slowing things down, asking clear questions, and trusting your instincts. You are never obligated to continue an interaction that feels uncomfortable. Respectful people respect boundaries.
How the Pickup Community Manipulates Hormones and Brain Chemistry Introduction The “pickup community” or PUA (Pick-Up Artist) community consists of individuals who study and practice techniques aimed at seducing or attracting romantic or sexual partners, often with a focus on short-term relation...
