Katie Malley Therapy

08/06/2026

06/06/2026

I’m pleased to share that I am a Supervisor Member of the Community of Practice in Supervision in Education by Educators (CoPSIEBE) for 2025-26. The community brings together professionals committed to developing high-quality, ethical and reflective supervision within education settings.

Reflective supervision is becoming an increasingly important part of supporting those working in education, safeguarding, pastoral care and leadership roles. It provides a dedicated space to think, reflect, process complexity and strengthen professional decision-making.

My own supervision practice draws on my experience as a therapist, safeguarding consultant, trainer, supervisor and former education leader. I integrate relational, trauma-informed and reflective approaches to create spaces that support both wellbeing and professional effectiveness.

Being part of this community allows me to continue learning alongside colleagues who are passionate about embedding supervision as a meaningful and sustainable support for educators.

As schools and organisations face increasing complexity, reflective supervision is not a luxury. It is an investment in the people carrying some of the most emotionally demanding responsibilities within education.

Thank you to CoPSIEBE for the opportunity to be part of this growing professional community.

If you’re interested in introducing reflective supervision within your school, trust or organisation, I’d be happy to have a conversation about what this could look like.

06/06/2026

A quieter start to the weekend with a reminder that looking after ourselves matters too.

This morning will be spent attending some health checks. We often encourage others to prioritise their wellbeing, but it’s just as important that we take proactive steps to look after our own physical and mental health.

The rest of the weekend will be a mix of family time, hopefully lunch with my brother, alongside some business planning and designing keynote presentations for upcoming events and conferences.

Many people know me through my therapy work, but a significant part of my week is also dedicated to safeguarding consultancy, training and supporting organisations to create environments where children, young people and adults can be safer, heard and supported. It’s work I’m deeply passionate about and never take for granted.

For now, it’s coffee, snuggles sigh Rudi on the sofa and then up and out.

05/06/2026

At the end of each session, the young people I work with choose a gem.

It’s a simple ritual, but an important one.

The gem marks the ending of our time together that day and gives space to reflect on what they are taking away with them. Sometimes it represents a feeling, a strength they have discovered, a memory from the session, or something they want to hold onto between sessions.

These gems also serve as transitional objects. The concept of transitional objects was first described by Donald Winnicott, who recognised that children often use a special object to provide comfort, connection and continuity during times of separation and change.

In therapeutic work, transitional objects can help bridge the space between sessions. They offer a tangible reminder of the relationship, the experiences shared, and the progress made. They can support emotional regulation, foster a sense of safety, and help young people carry aspects of the therapeutic experience with them into their everyday lives.

Over time, each young person collects their chosen gems. When our work together comes to an end, they take home their bag of treasure. Each gem tells part of their story and represents something they have learned, overcome, discovered, or carried forward on their journey.

A small gem. A meaningful ending. A lasting reminder of growth, resilience and connection.

31/05/2026

Get in touch if you want to talk about how therapy could help you.

[email protected]

30/05/2026

We often think change happens when someone gains insight.

But research suggests that change may begin even earlier than that.

It begins with safety.

Not the absence of challenge.
Not avoiding difficult emotions.
Not always feeling comfortable.

But the experience of being in a relationship where emotions can be explored without becoming overwhelming.

A recent paper by Podolan & Gelo (2024) describes safety as something dynamic and relational. It is not something a therapist simply provides. It is something that is co-created within the therapeutic relationship.

When people feel safe enough, they are often better able to:
• regulate emotions
• stay engaged in relationships
• reflect on their experiences
• tolerate vulnerability
• explore new ways of being

The authors also highlight something important:

Therapeutic safety does not need to be perfect.

It needs to be responsive, attuned and adaptable.

Because growth rarely happens through comfort alone.

It happens when there is enough safety to stay connected while exploring what feels difficult.

Healing is not only about what we do.

It is also about the relationships that help us feel safe enough to change.

Reference:
Podolan, M. & Gelo, O.C.G. (2024). The Role of Safety in Change-Promoting Therapeutic Relationships: An Integrative Relational Approach. Clinical Neuropsychiatry, 21(5), 403-417.

30/05/2026

Connection isn’t a luxury. It’s essential for mental health.

As humans, we are wired for connection. Not just social contact, but genuine connection. Feeling seen, heard, understood and accepted.

Research consistently shows that strong, supportive relationships are linked to better mental health, greater resilience and improved wellbeing. In contrast, loneliness and disconnection can have a significant impact on both emotional and physical health.

Connection does not have to be complicated. It can be a conversation with someone who listens. A shared moment. A sense of belonging. A reminder that we do not have to carry everything alone.

In a world that often values productivity over presence, connection remains one of the most powerful protective factors for our wellbeing.

Who helps you feel connected?

28/05/2026

Following on from my last post about allostatic load, it’s important to understand that stress does not affect people in isolation from their relationships and environments.

The Harvard Center on the Developing Child describes toxic stress as strong, frequent or prolonged activation of the body’s stress response systems without enough buffering protection from supportive relationships.

In other words, it is not simply the presence of stress or adversity that causes harm. It is when people, especially children, experience overwhelming stress without consistent safety, connection and support.

Over time, chronic activation of stress responses can affect:

• brain development
• emotional regulation
• learning and memory
• immune functioning
• physical and mental health across the lifespan

This is why relationships matter so much.

Safe, responsive, emotionally available relationships help buffer stress responses and support regulation and resilience. Feeling seen, soothed, protected and connected is not “soft” practice. It has a direct impact on biology and development.

For those of us working in education, safeguarding, healthcare, therapy, leadership and community services, this matters deeply. Trauma informed practice is not simply about understanding what has happened to someone. It is about creating environments that reduce stress burdens and increase felt safety, belonging, predictability and connection.

Supportive relationships can be protective factors. Sometimes they can also be transformative ones.

Sources / further reading:

Harvard Center on the Developing Child: Toxic Stress
https://developingchild.harvard.edu/key-concept/toxic-stress/

Harvard Center on the Developing Child: Guide to Toxic Stress
https://developingchild.harvard.edu/resource-guides/guide-toxic-stress/

National Scientific Council on the Developing Child (2014). Excessive Stress Disrupts the Architecture of the Developing Brain.
https://developingchild.harvard.edu/resources/excessive-stress-disrupts-the-architecture-of-the-developing-brain/

28/05/2026

🧠The neuroscience of feeling misunderstood🧠

Most of us know the feeling of trying to explain ourselves and realising we still have not been fully understood. It can leave a deep emotional impact, not simply because of the words exchanged, but because humans are neurologically wired for connection, attunement and social safety.

Research in social neuroscience suggests that experiences of rejection, exclusion and social disconnection activate some of the same brain regions involved in physical pain processing, particularly the anterior cingulate cortex and anterior insula (Eisenberger & Lieberman, 2004; Eisenberger, 2012). This does not mean emotional pain and physical injury are identical, but it does suggest that the brain treats social threat as highly significant.

Being misunderstood can also create a strong physiological response before we consciously process what is happening. The nervous system continuously monitors cues of safety, danger and connection. When communication feels ruptured, invalidating or threatening to belonging, people may notice bodily sensations first: tightness in the chest, heat, nausea, agitation, collapse or shutdown. These responses are consistent with research on interoception, emotional processing and autonomic nervous system functioning (Craig, 2009; Porges, 2011).

What often makes these moments so exhausting is the cognitive and emotional effort involved in trying to repair the disconnect. We monitor facial expressions, adjust our language, rehearse explanations and attempt to restore understanding. Over time, repeated experiences of misattunement or invalidation can affect emotional regulation, self-trust and relational safety.

There is also evidence that chronic social stress and rejection are associated with increased cortisol activity and inflammatory responses within the body. Persistent relational stress has been linked to poorer mental and physical health outcomes across the lifespan (Slavich & Irwin, 2014).

At the same time, being genuinely understood can have a regulating effect on the nervous system. Experiences of empathy, attunement and emotional validation are associated with increased feelings of safety, connection and psychological stability. Within therapeutic relationships, feeling heard and accurately understood is consistently associated with stronger therapeutic alliances and improved outcomes (Norcross & Lambert, 2018).

Humans are relational beings. Feeling unseen, dismissed or persistently misunderstood can affect the nervous system, emotional wellbeing and sense of connection. Feeling understood, safe and emotionally attuned to can be deeply regulating and healing.

References

Craig, A. D. (2009). How do you feel? An interoceptive moment with your neurobiological self. Nature Reviews Neuroscience, 10(1), 59-70.

Eisenberger, N. I., & Lieberman, M. D. (2004). Why rejection hurts: A common neural alarm system for physical and social pain. Trends in Cognitive Sciences, 8(7), 294-300.

Eisenberger, N. I. (2012). The pain of social disconnection: Examining the shared neural underpinnings of physical and social pain. Nature Reviews Neuroscience, 13(6), 421-434.

Norcross, J. C., & Lambert, M. J. (2018). Psychotherapy relationships that work III. Psychotherapy, 55(4), 303-315.

Porges, S. W. (2011). The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological foundations of emotions, attachment, communication, and self-regulation. New York: Norton.

Slavich, G. M., & Irwin, M. R. (2014). From stress to inflammation and major depressive disorder: A social signal transduction theory of depression. Psychological Bulletin, 140(3), 774-815.

28/05/2026

We often talk about stress as something emotional or psychological, but our bodies keep score too.

Allostatic load is the “wear and tear” on the body that builds up when we are exposed to ongoing stress, adversity, uncertainty or overwhelm over time. It’s what happens when the nervous system and stress response are repeatedly activated without enough opportunity for recovery, safety or regulation.

This can affect sleep, concentration, immunity, emotional regulation, memory, physical health and relationships. In children, it can impact learning, behaviour and development. In adults, it may show up as burnout, exhaustion, anxiety, chronic health difficulties or feeling constantly “on alert”.

What’s important is that allostatic load is not about weakness. It is a physiological response to prolonged stress exposure.

Protective relationships, emotional safety, connection, rest, movement, play, co-regulation and supportive communities all matter. Trauma informed practice is not just about understanding distress. It is about reducing unnecessary stress burdens and creating environments where people can recover, regulate and feel safe enough to thrive.

Increasingly, research is helping us understand not only the impact of stress on the body and brain, but also the powerful role that safe, responsive relationships play in buffering these effects. I’ll share more on this in my next post.

Source / further reading:

McEwen, B. S. & Stellar, E. (1993). Stress and the individual: Mechanisms leading to disease. Archives of Internal Medicine, 153(18), 2093-2101.
https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamainternalmedicine/article-abstract/618673

McEwen, B. S. (1998). Protective and damaging effects of stress mediators. New England Journal of Medicine, 338(3), 171-179.
https://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/NEJM199801153380307