Elaine L Finkelstein PhD. Clinical Psychologist; End-of-Life Consultant.

Elaine L Finkelstein PhD. Clinical Psychologist; End-of-Life Consultant. Clinical Psychologist specialising in end-of-life care and bereavement support. Researcher of exceptional end-of-life experiences and founder of TELERF.

For more info please visit www.elainefinkelstein.com

Neuroplasticity, Anxiety and the Power of You Neuroplasticity is, simply put, the brain’s (neuro) capacity for adaptatio...
25/06/2023

Neuroplasticity, Anxiety and the Power of You

Neuroplasticity is, simply put, the brain’s (neuro) capacity for adaptation and change (plasticity), both physical change and functional change, in response to experience. Such experience includes healthy physical development, as well as thoughts, emotions, learning and memory, together with chemicals, substances, physical injury and brain damage.

For most of the twentieth century, neuroscientific consensus suggested that the brain became static and fixed after a critical developmental period during a child’s early years. Yet, as early as 1890, William James (1842-1910), a medical doctor from Harvard University, and a psychologist who is regularly referred to as the father of American psychology, proposed that the brain’s structure and functionality is not fixed, even throughout adulthood, and that it changes over time. James referred to this as ‘plasticity’. His view was largely ignored, but modern research now highlights that James’s proposal was factually correct. The significance of this cannot be underestimated. As psychiatrist and expert in the field of neuroplasticity, Dr Norman Doidge, has suggested, our newfound and widespread understanding of the brain’s plasticity is the most important change in our understanding of the brain in 400 years.

Brain change occurs as we walk the path of life experience. Your thoughts, inner experience, upbringing and physical experiences affect these changes. It is not the static, fixed organ it was previously thought to be. The brain is flexible and highly adaptable, and changes in response to the experiences one has in one’s life. A physical example of this is that of a person who is blindfolded. If, when alert and awake, a person is blindfolded, and this visual impediment remains for more than a two-hour period, the brain will begin to reorganise itself. In response to visual deprivation, the visual centres in the brain will begin to process signals of touch and sound. This adaptation is automatic and takes place without any conscious effort on the part of the person who is blindfolded. When the blindfold is removed, and sight is restored, the brain’s adaptation to visual loss is gradually reversed. On the other hand, should visual deprivation continue, so too will the brain’s adaptation to this physical change or experience.

This example highlights the ability of the brain to automatically adapt to physical change. The brain, however, is also constantly adapting to one’s thoughts and emotional responses too, to one’s inner experience. Through taking control of one’s inner experience one can, in fact, change the brain. Solid examples of this are found in mindfulness-based exercises and various forms of meditative practice.

Meditative practice is neuroplasticity in action and is linked to changes in both the structure of the brain and regional brain activity. Significantly, these changes, as the brain adapts to a particular meditative practice for example, give rise to positive shifts that are both psychological and physiological in nature. Positive psychological shifts include, amongst others, reduced fear and anxiety, lowered stress levels, a reduction in anger, a decrease in depression, an increase in positive emotions, improved memory and attention span, and increased resilience during difficult times. Positive physiological shifts include, by way of example, the strengthening of the immune system, an increase in energy levels, a decrease in pain that is being experienced, and reduced inflammation.

Neuroplasticity can be positively managed through becoming aware of one’s thoughts, perceptions and subjective experiences, and choosing to influence them for one’s benefit and well-being. With awareness and self-management, one can change not only the structure and function of the brain, but also one’s experience of the world and sense of self. This is something that was considered impossible in the 1970s. Now we know this is not only accurate, but also possible throughout one’s lifetime, health permitting.

The impact of neuroplasticity is perhaps well illustrated by anxiety. Should the anxiety response have become a constant feature in the way in which one responds to life events and experiences, one’s neural pathways become ‘wired’ to respond to events and experiences in this way. Anxiety becomes a habitual way of responding. This habitual response links to a series of interconnected pathways in the brain that become deeper, and develop further, as a ‘preferred route’. Think of it this way. A river (anxiety) may begin its life as a stream (of anxiety responses) that is shallow and narrow. However, as more rain falls (life experiences and events), the stream (anxiety responses) deepens and widens, moving rocks and other blockages (other responses) out of its path and creating a ‘preferred route’. With less resistance to the flow, options (alternative responses) become limited and a deepened and widened channel, or an increasingly dominant ‘preferred route’ becomes an automatic catchment. As more water is captured, the stream becomes a river. This makes the flow even faster, accelerating the deepening and widening effect. This reflects the way the anxiety response becomes increasingly habitual in one’s response pattern and more deeply embedded.

Neuroplasticity, however, illustrates that one has the power to create and adopt new ways of responding to anxiety-provoking thoughts and experiences, to sustain these new responses and, through so doing, to ultimately develop new neural pathways that are healthier and more beneficial to oneself. Through awareness of a dominant anxiety response mechanism; through purposeful intention to change this response; through adopting personally effective strategies to pursue calmer, more resilient and beneficial ways of responding; as well making a concerted effort to sustain this, one can ‘rewire’ the brain to respond accordingly. In doing so, the neural pathways that aided, abetted and promoted anxiety will diminish and new pathways that promote calmer, healthier responses, ones that enable a person to feel more tranquil in the face of life’s events and experiences for most of the time, will gradually develop and deepen. One’s efforts will result in a more beneficial response pattern linked to a newly created ‘preferred route’ in the brain. Gradually it is this new response pattern that becomes automatic, replacing the habitual response of anxiety. Neuroplasticity, therefore, can create long term benefits through healthier response patterns; patterns that become the norm.

Your thoughts change your brain and change your experience of life. It is possible to change the experience of life from one of anxiety to one that is calmer and more relaxed, both in general terms and in relation to specific events or experiences. Using the power of self-awareness, self-assessment, empowering thoughts, constructive choices, and a healthy dose of perseverance, one can positively influence the structure and function of the brain and enhance one’s quality of life.

• Dr Elaine L Finkelstein is a registered clinical psychologist and a registered occupational psychologist. She is a chartered psychologist (UK) and an associate fellow of the British Psychological Society. Elaine is also the founder of the Transformative End-of-Life Experiences Research Foundation. The author of this blog is not dispensing medical or psychological advice, or prescribing the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, medical or psychological problems. The advice of an independent physician or mental health professional, either directly or indirectly is required for this. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event that you use any of the information in this blog for yourself, which is your right, the author assumes no responsibility for your actions.

COPYRIGHT NOTE: The author of this article, Elaine L Finkelstein owns the copyright over this blog and the Trade Marks: Transient-Death Experience and Shared Transition Experience. You may contact her at [email protected]. Elaine L Finkelstein grants readers permission to copy and distribute this column and distribute it free of charge, provided that copies are distributed for educational and non-profit use, no changes or revisions are made, all copies clearly attribute the article to its author and include its copyright notice and the author’s email address [email protected].

Some of the greatest research on consciousness has emerged from this Division, University of Virginia. Follow the link t...
09/09/2021

Some of the greatest research on consciousness has emerged from this Division, University of Virginia. Follow the link to subscribe to their newsletter if you are interested. I highly recommend it.

ICYMI: DOPS just published our inaugural newsletter with the latest events, news, updates, and more! Catch up on the first edition and be sure to subscribe to the quarterly newsletter to stay up to date on all things DOPS. https://bit.ly/3Dxa2k2

Non-ordinary experiences in children and younger people - reassuring young ones and helping caring adults In March this ...
30/05/2021

Non-ordinary experiences in children and younger people -
reassuring young ones and helping caring adults

In March this year, I was asked by the founder of the website, Children’s Guide to the Unknown, Dr Donna Thomas, to write a guest blog for this webspace. The website focuses on the experiences of children and younger people that are considered ‘unusual’ or ‘out-of-the-ordinary’. These experiences are common for children and the webspace aims to emphasise this; while also providing helpful information and guidance for children, young people and interested adults.
In Donna’s words, “The information children and young people can access is scientific, artistic and cultural, and offers new ways for them to frame and make sense of their experiences. The space has guest supporters such as Elaine Finkelstein, Steve Taylor, Bernardo Kastrup and Rupert Sheldrake – as well as organisations such as The Essentia Foundation, the Institute of Noetic Sciences (IONS) and the International Spiritual Emergence Network”.
My blog was primarily intended for children and younger people, as well as caring adults, but I hope that it is of interest to anyone who visits the website. In order to widen its reach I share it below. At the end of my blog is further information about Dr Donna Thomas, as well as a link to this important website.

It is not unusual for children and younger people to have non-ordinary or mystical experiences. Such experiences may range, for example, from knowing what someone else is thinking or knowing that something is going to happen, through to having friends no one else can see, an out-of-body experience, a near-death experience or a memory of an apparent past-life. If you are a child or young person and feel you have experienced, or are experiencing, something spiritual, mystical or out-of-the-ordinary, you are not alone. Extraordinary experiences occur frequently and many children and young people, just like you, have them. Although the experience may be different to what others are experiencing it probably feels very real to you, and that is what matters. It is important to know that having an unusual experience does not necessarily mean that there is ‘something wrong’, it simply means that you have had an experience that others may find difficult to understand.
Many of these experiences are natural, and children and young people regard some of them as an everyday aspect of their life or a meaningful part of their world. They may describe them as uplifting or enchanting somehow. For others, however, it may not feel this way. Perhaps you feel that your experience was strange, too much to cope with or should be kept hidden. You may find it difficult to talk about. This is perfectly understandable. Some experiences feel too ‘big’ to put into words. Or it may be hard to know who you can turn to or share it with. Perhaps you have tried to share your experience with someone and their response has not been what you needed. When you choose who to share your experience with, choose someone who you feel a deep connection with or are comfortable talking to – someone who you know will want to listen, to understand and to support you, and who you believe will respond with care and kindness.
I spend time with many people who have had unusual experiences such as seeing and hearing a deceased person, perhaps a grandparent, or seeing and hearing a spiritual being, such as an angel, when no one else does. For example, one young girl shared with me that she perceived a very tall, white angel in front of her when she thought she was in danger. She described the angel as immense and powerful, and instinctively felt that the angel was there to protect her. No one else saw this angel but she ‘knew’ that it was real. This was a very positive experience for her and many of these non-ordinary experiences feel this way for those who have them. Another type of experience that people share with me is a near-death experience or, as it is often referred to, NDE. Sometimes this experience occurs when a person is very ill or in an accident. Children and younger people generally share that, during their NDE, they sensed a loving being near them or were surrounded by love, perceived a light or felt they were in a place of safety, felt peaceful and free of any pain they may have had. They may also share that they had an out-of-body experience, that they left their body for a while, and could see things from a different viewpoint.
There are many children and young people who have experienced an NDE and, as is the case with a number of non-ordinary experiences, the experience can make you feel that something has changed. Perhaps you feel overwhelmed by it. For this reason it is best not to bottle everything up inside of you. It is perfectly normal to feel you need a little help after an unusual experience. The right time to share your experience with someone else, and perhaps ask for support, is when you are ready to do so.
If you have had a non-ordinary experience that you feel you want to share, or that you might need help to cope with, why not ask the person you turn to for support to read the few points I have written below. In this way you will help them to help you.
Parents, family members and caring others. You can play a very important role in helping a child or younger person to integrate their non-ordinary experience into their life in a positive and constructive way. Here are a few guidelines to help you in this process:
• In an otherwise healthy child or young person these experiences should be treated, at least initially, as a natural experience even though they are out-of-the-ordinary. If the young one becomes increasingly distressed, however, or you feel unsure about how to help them do not hesitate to seek further support.
• Listen, and listen more. Be patient. Let the child or young person take their time to explain. Sometimes it is hard to find the right words so listen patiently, ask gentle open-ended questions but do not pressure them into giving an answer. Help them to feel safe in sharing their experience with you.
• Reassure the child or young person that you understand what they are sharing with you and that you are willing to hear more in their own time and whenever is best for them. If their experience is a ‘type’ of experience you know little about, make the effort to read up about it and learn about what to expect. It is not uncommon to feel anxious or uncertain about these experiences. Learning more about them will be very helpful for the young person, and you, both now and going forward.
• Keep an open mind and withhold judgement. This is a real experience for the child or young person in the same way that listening to them is a real experience for you.
• If or when necessary, guide the child or young person as to how, or to who, they might consider revealing their experience, if anyone. This will help to prevent damaging judgements from those who do not understand. Sometimes this is not quite as simple as it sounds but it may be worth considering a strategy.
• Help the child or young person through any changes or transformative effects, and support them as they integrate their experience. Stay aware of shifts and changes through the integration process and be proactive.
• Encourage them to discuss the meaning of their experience with you, to reflect on the positive aspects of it and to explore its impact on the way the child or young person thinks about life and the purpose of living. You might be surprised.
• Help them to express the details and impact of their experience in a way that is age appropriate such as, for example, through art work, drawing, writing poetry, music and dance, journaling, acting out/drama or through play.
• As the parent, family member or caregiver remember you are not alone. There are many parents, families and caregivers working through similar situations and there are always professionals you can turn to for help. There are also valuable online resources you can turn to, such as Dr Donna Thomas’ website, https://childrenselfandanomalousexperiences.co.uk/
This time call ‘Life’ is about the ordinary and the extraordinary, two sides of the same coin. The non-ordinary experiences mentioned in this blog rest on the extraordinary side of the coin. When we embrace the whole coin we embrace life and all its facets, the ordinary and the non-ordinary, and in so doing we live life to the full. I hope that for you, and those you love, life will always be full.

More information on Dr Donna Thomas: Donna is an Independent Researcher and holds a Research Fellow position at the University of Central Lancashire, UK. Donna has researched with children and young people for the past 18 years, developing innovative ways to conduct research 'with' children and creating children as researcher programmes. Donna's research interests are self, experience and the nature of reality. The programme of work Donna has developed aims to bring attention to, and challenge conventional ideas about being human and the nature of the world. A key focus is children's 'anomalous' experiences - looking at what they can reveal about who we are.

Donna is interested in bringing about change to how children and young people's experiences are understood by adults, in response to a current 'mental health crisis' for children in the Western World. Donna has published academic and public interest articles and is working with children and young people to bring this information to our younger generation. Her book (co-authored with Dr Deborah Crook) will be published in 2022. The book 'Self and Subjectivity in Social Research' aims to develop a fresh way of researching with people. From a different understanding about the mystery of being human and reality. Donna is a professional affiliate of the Galileo Commission, a member of the Centre for Children and Young People's Participation (UK) and the Scientific and Medical Network. She has presented at the British Psychological Society Transpersonal Section (2018), The Science of Consciousness Conference (2020) and the BPS Consciousness and Experiential Section (2019).

Dr Elaine L Finkelstein is a registered clinical psychologist and a registered occupational psychologist. She is a chartered psychologist (UK) and an associate fellow of the British Psychological Society. Elaine is also the founder of the Transformative End-of-Life Experiences Research Foundation.

The author of this blog is not dispensing medical or psychological advice, or prescribing the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, medical or psychological problems. The advice of an independent physician or mental health professional, either directly or indirectly is required for this. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event that you use any of the information in this blog for yourself, which is your right, the author assumes no responsibility for your actions.

COPYRIGHT NOTE: The author of this article, Elaine L Finkelstein owns the copyright over this blog and the Trade Marks: Transient-Death Experience and Shared Transition Experience. You may contact her at [email protected]. Elaine L Finkelstein grants readers permission to copy and distribute this column and distribute it free of charge, provided that copies are distributed for educational and non-profit use, no changes or revisions are made, all copies clearly attribute the article to its author and include its copyright notice and the author’s email address [email protected].

Terminal Lucidity, ‘ the last goodbye’I think it is safe to say that a correlation between normal brain function and men...
19/02/2021

Terminal Lucidity, ‘ the last goodbye’

I think it is safe to say that a correlation between normal brain function and mental processing capacity is generally assumed. Mental processing embraces all that people can do with their minds including the capacity for thinking, decision-making, perception, emotion and memory recall. The correlation suggests that if a person’s brain function deteriorates their mental processing capacity will too. This may generally hold true but certain exceptional end-of-life experiences challenge this. Terminal lucidity is one such experience.

So what exactly is terminal lucidity? In essence, it is the unexpected return of mental clarity and memory, shortly before death, in patients suffering from severe psychiatric and neurological disorders. Among these neurological disorders are meningitis, brain tumours and strokes, as well as the condition I have chosen to focus on in this blog, Alzheimer’s disease.

You may well be personally familiar with this incredibly challenging neurodegenerative condition. My own father suffered with this disease and I felt such deep sadness, tinged with an unwanted sense of resignation, as I witnessed the slow but relentless destruction of his memory and thinking skills. Of him. Some of my clients living with loved ones who have Alzheimer’s think of it as ‘the loss of their loved one before they are gone’. They share with me that they are grieving for a living person. Others speak of their experience with Alzheimer’s as the ‘total absence’ of their loved one, an absence that is associated with years of no recognition, no memory, no responsiveness and no reactive communication. But for some, terminal lucidity changes this.

Shortly before death, at a time when the brain is at its most compromised, the Alzheimer’s patient who experiences terminal lucidity has a sudden surge – one that brings a bright demeanour; clear, coherent and consistent thinking; the renewed ability to communicate; as well as the capacity to remember and recognise loved ones. The dying Alzheimer’s patient briefly returns as the person their loved ones remember – clear thinking, communicative and with memory seemingly intact. A gentleman in his 80s, for example, who had been suffering with Alzheimer’s for many years, unexpectedly became animated, engaged in communication and clearly remembered the family member he was speaking to. He said that he wanted to say goodbye as he thought he was going to die soon. Thirty six hours later he slipped away.

Dr Rudolph Tanzi, a Harvard Alzheimer's disease specialist, describes it this way:

“Terminal lucidity happens, even in Alzheimer’s patients who are barely conscious, who are barely responsive… we hear about it all the time. How, suddenly, a patient can, just before death, say their goodbyes to their loved ones, remembering their names, maybe recalling an event after a decade or so of not learning, of having lost first their short-term memory and then their long-term memory… Well, it is a complete mystery. But it is undeniable that it happens, and it is amazing”.

Alzheimer’s disease is a progressive neurological disorder and at the time when the patient is nearing the end of their life significant, irreversible destruction of the brain has taken place. The brain has been compromised beyond any meaningful form of neuronal generation. It is because of this neurophysiological damage that terminal lucidity is regarded as unusual or ‘amazing’. It is also because of this that family members and loved ones, those who are with the patient as they near the end of life, do not expect the changes that terminal lucidity brings. They do not expect such a remarkable period of revival.

Medical professionals and loved ones bear witness to the extraordinary, yet observable, phenomenon of terminal lucidity. However, quite how these severely neurologically compromised, end-of-life patients return as the person the family remembers, engage and communicate with their loved ones, and say their last goodbye shortly before slipping away remains unexplained.

Further research in this area is needed both to understand the mechanisms and processes involved in terminal lucidity, as well as to heighten awareness of this phenomenon. Creating awareness may assist those who are with loved ones when terminal lucidity unexpectedly occurs to be better prepared for it, and to cope with these experiences more easily. Remarkable as this phenomenon is, it is not necessarily easy for family members to deal with. Some loved ones suggest that they found the experience unnerving or overwhelming. Others share that their loved one seemed as if they were ‘back to normal’ and they assumed their loved one had recovered from their illness. They felt disappointed that this was not the case. Many, however, say that they are very grateful, and always will be, for a connected farewell filled with special moments and the last goodbye.

Through my Foundation, the Transformative End-of-Life Experiences Research Foundation (TELERF), I am currently investigating terminal lucidity as an experience and its impact on families, caregivers and medical professionals. If you have directly witnessed this phenomenon, or if you have personally experienced terminal lucidity in a loved one, please consider sharing this with me. Feel free to connect with me at [email protected] if you are willing to do so. I look forward to hearing from you.

• Dr Elaine L Finkelstein is a registered clinical psychologist and a registered occupational psychologist. She is a chartered psychologist (UK) and an associate fellow of the British Psychological Society. Elaine is also the founder of the Transformative End-of-Life Experiences Research Foundation.The author of this blog is not dispensing medical or psychological advice, or prescribing the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, medical or psychological problems. The advice of an independent physician or mental health professional, either directly or indirectly is required for this. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event that you use any of the information in this blog for yourself, which is your right, the author assumes no responsibility for your actions.

COPYRIGHT NOTE: The author of this article, Elaine L Finkelstein owns the copyright over this blog and the Trade Marks: Transient-Death Experience and Shared Transition Experience. You may contact her at [email protected]. Elaine L Finkelstein grants readers permission to copy and distribute this column and distribute it free of charge, provided that copies are distributed for educational and non-profit use, no changes or revisions are made, all copies clearly attribute the article to its author and include its copyright notice and the author’s email address [email protected].

15/10/2020
Stress and COVID-19Rarely do circumstances force people, globally, to change their normal day-to-day routines, habits, p...
23/04/2020

Stress and COVID-19

Rarely do circumstances force people, globally, to change their normal day-to-day routines, habits, patterns, preferences and comfort zones, almost immediately and with little preparation time, but this is precisely what COVID-19 has demanded. Across the world, lockdown, isolation and social distancing are measures that have been adopted by governments as national/global best-practice in response to the spread of a little understood pandemic.

As a result people’s lifestyles, livelihoods and freedoms have been drastically changed. People, to a greater or lesser extent, have experienced heightened levels of stressful experiences and change including illness, work trauma, work-from-home, financial challenges, isolation, confined family living, home-schooling children, domestic abuse, job loss and the loss of a loved one without the opportunity to say goodbye. For some, finding sufficient food every day is becoming increasingly difficult.

These challenges have given rise to emotional responses such as fear, panic, anxiety, uncertainty, confusion, depression, loneliness, grief, overwhelm, trauma, frustration, anger and impatience in the face of this life-threatening virus. One of the most important concerns here is that stress, and the associated emotional responses and thoughts, can create physiological responses that are detrimental to one’s health e.g. increased heart rate and blood pressure, the release of immune-suppressing stress hormones, and gastric disturbances. This, in turn, has the potential to undermine your most important asset at this time – your immune system.
Good mental health is linked to optimal immune health. The challenges that we all face at this time not only impact on our peace of mind, and sense of well-being, they can also be detrimental to our physical health and increase our risk of disease. In essence, when we are stressed, our immune system’s ability to fend off antigens is reduced and the susceptibility to infection increases. Furthermore, stress may also have a secondary effect on our immune system if unhealthy behavioural coping strategies such as excessive drinking, smoking, drug use and resorting to ‘comfort’ food that may offer little in the form of healthy nourishment, are adopted.

The good news is that we can do something about this. As individuals, we may not be able to change certain of the challenges associated with COVID-19, but we can control our response to them. We can choose how we respond within the context in which we live. We can adopt appropriate physical, mental, social, spiritual and practical strategies that are empowering, healthful, helpful, meaningful and valuable to both ourselves and those we love. So begin by asking yourself what sort of strategies might prove helpful to you?

As a mental health professional, much of my focus is on thoughts and emotions, and our capacity to change our response; to change the way we think about things, to change the way we feel. Recently I have come across a beautiful example of this capacity and I have chosen to share it with you. It reflects a positive approach to the myriad of cancellations that have been enforced by this pandemic. Read these words and get in touch with how you feel ……

NOT EVERYTHING IS CANCELLED –
Sunshine is not cancelled
Spring is not cancelled
Love is not cancelled
Relationships are not cancelled
Reading is not cancelled
Naps are not cancelled
Devotion is not cancelled
Music is not cancelled
Dancing is not cancelled
Imagination is not cancelled
Kindness is not cancelled
Conversations are not cancelled
HOPE is not cancelled
[SimpleStencils.com]

And, I would add, living is not cancelled; our choice is how we perceive it, live it and respond to our circumstances. Sometimes we forget this so, to get you started on living well, here are five positive choices to consider under the current circumstances:

1. Change your exposure and ‘lighten your load’
Limit uncritical exposure to repetitive, alarming information about COVID-19. Stay informed through credible sources, that is important, but over-exposure can be detrimental, draining and alarming.

Choose exposure to something you would enjoy instead, such as an online visit to a museum, music concert or a virtual game drive in Africa, downloading a movie that you have always wanted to watch, finding a book you have been meaning to read, or immersing yourself in a creative outlet such as painting or cooking. Find new ways to relax and enjoy this time-out, being accepting of what you can’t do and grateful for what you can. Remember too, this is also an opportunity for doing things around your home that you have not previously had the time to do.

Engage in all that technology and connectivity can offer, from self-care apps, to mental health information, self-diagnostic chatbots, online educational programmes and more.

2. Sharing your feelings is beneficial

It is important to talk about your concerns and feelings. A pandemic is challenging, and feelings such as fear, confusion, sadness and uncertainty are normal responses. Talking to someone you trust can help to put your own thoughts and feelings into perspective, and can help manage them. It can also assist you in sticking to the facts. Support and help others in the same way.

Sadly, for certain families, COVID-19 has brought concern for ill loved-ones, perhaps separation from them and, tragically, loss and bereavement. Hard as it is, find a way to reach out to a source of emotional support that is most comfortable and meaningful for you.

3. Stay connected with family, friends and others

We may not be able to interact, work, share, visit, hug, and show love in the way we are used to right now, but reaching out and staying connected is very important. Technology is helping families to stay in touch, work in certain sectors to continue, ‘quiz nights’ to be arranged, and online social gatherings, dinners, competitions, music shows, to name a few, to take place.

Technology has also enabled a virtual world in which some have been able to honour the memory of a lost loved one, albeit differently to normal and perhaps not what they might have planned.

Feelings of loneliness, disconnection, helplessness and disengagement need to be managed. Finding coping strategies to deal with them is important. Find a way through, for example, email, mobile, laptop or telephone to reach out to family, friends, support groups or the community for connection, companionship, love, support and any help you need.

Helping and connecting with others, giving of your time, and supporting the vulnerable and those in need, is a richly rewarding experience for many people, bringing meaning and purpose into their world at this time. There are many different ways in which one can contribute. If this feels like a positive choice for you, think about how best you could make a contribution. This will give you a marked sense of purpose, which is a powerful stress reliever in challenging times.

4. Be aware of your breathing and use it to your benefit

Stressful, anxiety-provoking situations give rise to an increase in respiration rate, shallow breathing and feelings of shortness of breath. To address this, take a deep breathe in to the count of 7, and out to the count of 11, and continue this until you feel that you are settling. Focus on your breath, pushing all other thoughts aside. Be conscious of the breath coming in and going out; focus on the sensation of inhaling and exhaling.
Deep breathing increases the supply of oxygen to your brain and stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system, promoting a state of calmness.

Deep, abdominal breathing for 20 to 30 minutes each day will significantly reduce anxiety and reduce feelings of distress.
Meditation, mindfulness practices, progressive relaxation, yoga and prayer are also effective options for promoting a state of calm. Choose what works best for you.

5. Exercise and nutrition

Walking, running, exercise and any rhythmic activity can be great stress relievers and readjust your focus. It helps you to let go of frustrations, tension and negative emotions, and releases endorphins which can elevate your sense of general well-being. Outdoor exercise can also help you to connect with nature; enjoy the beauty, breathe in the fresh air and disrupt any feelings of boredom and monotony you may be experiencing as a result of home-confinement. Under current government guidelines (UK) we are able to leave our homes for one period of exercise per day. Use it. It will provide some perspective and relief so you can return in a new frame of mind.

Exercise, adequate sleep, your choices and coping strategies, such as those listed above, create a foundation for stronger immunity. Nutrition plays a significant role in this too. Pay attention to nourishing your body in the best possible way and resist the temptation to eat more than usual, eat too much ‘comfort food’, overindulge in alcohol or ci******es, or to abandon previous healthy habits if at all possible. Your immune system needs you to take care.

Remember, you have faced adversity before and you came through it. Utilise the skills and strategies you used successfully before to help you now. Know that the sun will rise again, on a changed world, in new normal, but it will rise again. Let us be grateful for what we have, endure what we have lost, support one another with compassion, and be strong together in the face of new beginnings – and let us all ensure that no one ever walks alone. Be safe.

Dr Elaine L Finkelstein is a registered clinical psychologist and a registered occupational psychologist. She is a chartered psychologist (UK) and an associate fellow of the British Psychological Society. Elaine is also the founder of the Transformative End-of-Life Experiences Research Foundation.

The author of this blog is not dispensing medical or psychological advice, or prescribing the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, medical or psychological problems. The advice of an independent physician or mental health professional, either directly or indirectly is required for this. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event that you use any of the information in this blog for yourself, which is your right, the author assumes no responsibility for your actions.

COPYRIGHT NOTE: The author of this article, Elaine L Finkelstein owns the copyright over this blog and the Trade Marks: Transient-Death Experience and Shared Transition Experience. You may contact her at [email protected]. Elaine L Finkelstein grants readers permission to copy and distribute this column and distribute it free of charge, provided that copies are distributed for educational and non-profit use, no changes or revisions are made, all copies clearly attribute the article to its author and [email protected].

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