14/06/2026
Ok, so it’s Sunday evening, time to relax, and of course I feel a bit of a ramble coming on. Sometimes odd thoughts just pop into my mind, and I feel the need to share. One recurring theme I notice as a medium in my readings is - the parent-versus-child dynamic.
In particular, it’s often the child who hates the parent—who thinks the parent was rubbish, or carries anger and trauma from their upbringing. I’ve got a few things to say about this.
First, your parents are people—pure and simple. They are human. They’re liable to make mistakes; they don’t always get it right. They are the product of their own upbringing, social and religious background, culture, and all the stuff they’ve been indoctrinated with from birth. That’s the stance they take when raising their children—they want their kids to have similar outlooks on life, religion, and so on.
But often, the child grows up with a completely different outlook. They’re influenced by education, culture, friends, and life experiences. These ideas can clash completely with those of the parents. That’s when falling outs happen, disagreements, hurts—things can get messy.
So, it’s always important for adult children to remember that the reality they experienced as kids may be very different from their parents’ upbringing. We’re all indoctrinated, let’s get real—it's a thing. We’re the product of our genetics, our upbringing, and our society.
The second thing I want to point out is how often children put their parents on a pedestal. When they’re young, parents often seem like gods—full of admiration and love. After all, the parent is always there: looking after them, singing them to sleep, dressing them, bathing them, meeting every need. It’s understandable that a child might see their parent as a god-like figure. And, from the child’s or teenager’s perspective, gods are unflappable—they don’t have issues, they’re strong, supportive, resilient. You can throw whatever you want at them, and they won’t flinch.
But the reality is very often quite different. It’s usually when children hit those turbulent teenage years that they begin to see that their parents are just human—flawed, with their own issues. Sometimes, this can be pretty disappointing for those young adults who think they can push their parents as far as they want and that they won’t flinch. That’s when they realize the sad truth: their parents aren’t invincible. They have tempers, emotions, vulnerabilities. They don’t want to be pushed or tested all the time—they’re human too.
And so, at the end of the day, understanding that both parents and children are human beings with their own flaws and struggles can open the door to more compassion and patience. Recognizing that our parents did the best they could with the tools and beliefs they had at the time can help us see them in a new light—less as perfect figures and more as complex, imperfect people. And maybe, just maybe, that understanding can foster healing, forgiveness, and a deeper connection, even when we don’t see eye to eye.
Sometimes, we don’t truly understand how difficult it is to be a parent until we are parents ourselves. And even more so, when we have adult children to deal with. Navigating that ongoing relationship requires patience, empathy, and a willingness to see each other’s humanity.
So please, don’t expect perfection from your parents—they are just people. Instead, see them as grown-up toddlers with issues they’ve still not resolved, issues they will likely carry with them until the day they die. We’re all just trying to navigate this human experience the best way we know how.
