Jarvis-Hilton Counselling

24/08/2026

A lot of people do not know what EMDR therapy is, so here is a little info to assist:

1. You do not have to move your eyes, watch a ball or light-bar for EMDR to work. All of my EMDR clients over the past 3 years have closed their eyes and hold pulsators to activate the bilateral simulation needed for EMDR.

2. EMDR bilateral simulation activates REM sleep whilst you are fully conscious and fully in control. This is where reprocessing of experiences from the past happens and the disturbing memory reduces significantly. It's fascinating to experience and be a part of.

3. EMDR does not, and should not, re-traumatize you. Please only see a registered EMDR therapist, with either EMDR UK or EMDR Europe, when you want to access this form of therapy. You have to be highly experienced as a therapist and accredited with BACP, or equivalent, at counsellor qualification level 4/5. Do your research and ask for certification proof, if not on display.

4. EMDR helps repair your central nervous system, by removing the disturbance linked to the difficult experience/memories. Following EMDR therapy you will remember what happened, but remembering will no longer activate your fight/flight system. The experience becomes a part of all your other memories.

5. Most EMDR work can be completed fairly quickly, dependant of severity. History taking happens in the first couple of sessions, then desensitisation and reprocessing takes maybe 4-6 sessions, then installation and close another couple of sessions. So for flying fear, driving fear, or single trauma exposure, I would say 10 to 12 sessions are needed.

6. Fear often expressed/felt by clients accessing EMDR include:
"what if I do it wrong?" - the therapist is there to guide and support you
"what if I can't remember the details?" - the therapist doesn't need all the details.
"who will I be once the fear/anxiety is gone?" - you will be yourself, more peaceful
"what if it comes back?" - highly unlikely once EMDR has been completed correctly

7. Why is EMDR more expensive? - to train as an EMDR therapist you need significant experience as a therapist. Accreditation cost, training cost, affiliation cost and supervision are all additional expenses to the therapist. You are working with a highly experienced individual and this holds value.

8. What can EMDR help with? - my cases in 2026 include:
Fear of flying - successful completion
Fear of driving X2 - successful completion
Generalised Anxiety Disorder (GAD) - 1 ongoing and 2 successful completions
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) - 1 ongoing and 3 successful completions
Childhood Trauma - 1 ongoing and 1 successful completion
Postpartum Psychosis trauma experience - 1 successful completion
Childhood sexual assault/abuse - 3 successful completions
Anxiety - 2 successful completions
OCD and Catastrophic thinking - 1 successful completion
Historic sexual assault - ongoing
Relationship abuse - 2 successful completions

9. EMDR can assist with any experience which has caused you distress and disrupts you in the present moment. An analogy I use to assist understanding is - Imagine a filing cabinet room in your head. Everyday your mind files all the experiences you've have during REM sleep. When we have a very difficult experience in our lives, the experience gets left in the 'to be filed" tray. The brain doesn't know where to put it, because it doesn't understand it, or it's too alive and confusing. So it remains in our conscious mind and causes us problems. EMDR helps file the experience.

10. The body knows what to do to repair itself. If we injure ourselves, the body heals. Sometimes we need a little intervention from a doctor to help this repair. The brain is exactly the same. The brain knows how to heal itself. We have a difficult experience and it take a little time to heal from it. Sometimes it might need the support of a therapist for experiences which are a little more difficult to understand.

I have been using EMDR for 3 years and I am still seriously impressed with the effectiveness and results EMDR assists with.

If you feel it may be something that could help you, please reach out for a consultation - www.jarvishiltontherapy.com

20/08/2026

COMING IN 2027
The Blueprint Programme™
Understand Yourself. Build Resilience.
Continue to Evolve.

Join the priority waiting list today.

Every person's blueprint is unique...

Just as no two fingerprints are the same, no two people have lived the same life.

Our experiences shape the way we think, feel, relate to others and respond to the world around us.

The Blueprint Programme™ has been developed to help you understand your unique blueprint, build practical emotional wellbeing skills and continue to evolve with greater confidence, resilience and self-awareness.

Drawing on over 15 years of ther**eutic practice, 18,000+ clinical hours, and extensive experience delivering wellbeing and resilience training, this six-week evidence-informed programme combines psychological understanding with practical tools that support lasting emotional wellbeing.

This is an educational wellbeing programme, not therapy.

Small group learning
Practical tools you can use every day
Evidence-informed psychological education
A safe, supportive learning environment

Launching in 2027

Register your interest today for priority access and launch updates - https://www.jarvishiltontherapy.com/the-blueprint-programme/

Email: [email protected] or visit www.jarvishiltontherapy.com

25/07/2026

This symbol has been part of my practice for over 15yrs.

I drew it on my very first counselling training workbook, which I still have, when commencing training in 2011.

It means "to listen".

It's an integral part of my role.

I've also been updating things
- https://www.jarvishiltontherapy.com/
- https://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/counsellors/rebecca-jarvis

I'm please to announce too that the practice is now offering:
Neurodiversity Coaching
Intensive EMDR.

I continue to offer a free 30 consultation for those wishing to explore how therapy could help.

09/07/2026

Understanding ourselves and our personal history is often an important part of the ther**eutic process.

One analogy I regularly use with clients is the idea of a "blueprint."

From birth until around the age of 18, we have very little control over the environment we grow up in. Our relationships, experiences, messages, losses, achievements and challenges all contribute to the blueprint of who we become.

When working with people who have experienced difficult or traumatic childhoods, exploring their blueprint can help them understand how past experiences have shaped their thoughts, emotions, beliefs and behaviours today.

It's important to say that this is never about blaming parents, families or individuals. Everyone we meet has their own unique blueprint, shaped by their own life experiences, strengths and struggles.

If our blueprint was built without enough nurture, safety, understanding or guidance, there may be weaker foundations. If it contains chaos, fear or overwhelming experiences, parts of it may feel confusing or difficult to navigate. And if separation, rejection, abandonment or trauma became part of the original design, there may be areas that need care, repair and healing.

The encouraging part is that our blueprint isn't fixed forever.

As adults, we have the opportunity to redraw parts of it. We can strengthen weak foundations, rebuild damaged areas, extend what serves us, let go of what no longer does, and sometimes even create an entirely new design.

Therapy isn't about changing who you are.

It's about understanding how you came to be who you are, so you can consciously choose who you want to become.

24/06/2026

Keep an eye on the men in your life: there might be signs he’s not ok.

Is he:
• Feeling restless, angry, or tearful
• Low energy or constant tiredness
• Withdrawing from people or activities
• Drinking or using substances to cope
• Struggling with everyday life
• Being distant or not replying to messages
• Talking about feeling hopeless, trapped, or worthless
• Changes in sleep or eating habits
• Taking more risks than usual

If you’re seeing these signs, ask them how they are feeling. Ask open questions and make sure you listen to their responses, and take them seriously.

The following phone numbers are important, save these if you or somebody you know is struggling with their mental health:
Mental Health Emergency line:
111 (Select mental health)
Samaritans:
116 123
National Su***de Helpline UK:
0800 587 0800
Men’s Domestic Abuse Helpline:
0808 8010327
Mind:
0300 102 1235

11/06/2026

Decisions, decisions, decisions!

We all make decisions daily, often without giving it much thought most of the time.

Once we all did something for the first time and still do.....driving, riding a bike, starting school, starting a new job etc, etc, and at the time we felt nervous for a little while, whilst we adjusted to the new thing....but we did it.

We need to feel a little anxious when we do something new, nervousness is our bodies way of heightening our senses to keep us safe. It's a natural warning sign. I often say "I'd be worried if you weren't a little anxious about this".

Problems arise when we begin over thinking the warning signs, so it's important to self regulate and reason with over thinking.

When we learn to regulate ourselves we move out of fear into development of courage. The nervousness remains, but we build trust in ourselves and with that comes opportunity and growth.

Anxiety is a big problem in society today. This could be because we have too much information available to us, maybe we have failed at something or experienced something we have never recovered from, or we have grown up around people who also experience fear and anxiety.

Nervousness does not need to develop into anxiety and if it has, anxiety can be managed and overcome.

Some people have been anxious for such a long time that they can not imagine themselves not being anxious. Many, many people have said to me "I'm worried when I'm not worried about something".

I've worked with and supported hundreds of people who suffer with anxiety and I'm in the process of creating an affordable workshop about Anxiety Management. I'm interested to know if people would want to attend in-person, online or have access to an online recorded workshop? Please comment below, share for other to see and let me know your thoughts.

Anxiety and fear do not need to dictate your life. Reach out.

01/06/2026

Volunteers week (1st - 7th June) celebrates volunteers everywhere. They contribute so much to society, most of which goes unnoticed, yet they achieve so much.

Volunteering has been a part of my own life for 15yrs - Kenward Trust, Hospice in the Weald, Kent Search & Rescue, Kent Police and the people I have met, become friends with and learnt from is endless.

Volunteering is a great way to combat loneliness, find purpose, try something new, regain confidence or find your tribe. So below is where you can find opportunities local to you - https://ncvo.org.uk/ #/

Please add and share other volunteer links in the comments so those wanting to volunteer can easily access where to go.

14/05/2026

One day everything is ok, then the next day the future you thought was in front of you has significantly changed, or disappeared altogether.

Life can throw us into uncertainty at any moment. We only need to remember Covid 19 to relive that feeling.....everyone went out to buy toilet rolls!

The question is, do you react or respond to the event, crisis or life shift?

Most people react when something catches them off guard, changes or levels of uncertainty rocket to 80/90% in life. This is a totally normal reaction. But it can sometimes lead to behaviours or decisions later regretted.

Learning to pause and respond to a significant event is what most people say they wish they had done, but in the moment they unconsciously reacted.

Therapy provides support during difficult life changing events, assists with regulation of reactions and helps find ways of rebuilding a future.

27/04/2026

“Overthinking”, “rumination”, “stuck in a thought loop”, “I can’t stop thinking about it”. Sound familiar?

These are all common side effects of having experienced something which rocked you, sometimes to your core.

This pattern of behaviour can be linked to feeling hurt, betrayed, overlooked, or can be due to shock, trauma, anger or an unexpected change in your life.

When we experience something unexpected, we need time to process what has happened, and it’s helpful to have the right environment and knowledge to do this effectively.

Sometimes, expectations put pressure on us to move on from experiences quicker than we need. This can lead to anxiety building within us.

Sometimes, if what’s happened is minimised, or if we’re advised on the best way to recover, feel our experience is compared, this can lead to feeling inadequate, not good enough or failure.

Getting support when you notice signs you’re ruminating, or loop thinking, about something that’s happened is a really helpful tool for life.

We aren’t taught how to process difficult experiences and we all carry different narratives from generational learning.

Reach out for a free consultation if you’re now wondering if a little bit of therapy might be just what you need.

17/04/2026

This is significant, important and welcome news.

🚨 COUNSELLORS: This change could encourage more of your clients to seek justice — and stay in therapy while doing it.
👉 Watch now: https://youtu.be/WL_3M-A1Mgw?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=new-police-guidance-on-accessing-counselling-records

One of the hardest conversations in practice: a client who has survived abuse decides to report it to the police — then asks whether their counselling notes will be handed over. For many, that fear alone has been enough to make them withdraw.

New draft guidance in England and Wales, effective January 2026, changes this. Police can no longer routinely request victims' counselling records. Any request now needs to be necessary, proportionate, and relevant — and must be authorised at chief inspector level.

Ken and Rory break down exactly what this guidance covers, where it applies, and what it means for your day-to-day practice.
If you work with survivors of sexual abuse or r**e, this one's essential viewing.