21/06/2026
Do you ever find yourself feeling challenged by things that seem bigger than your ability to change them?
Me too.
This week I’ve found myself reflecting on how much energy I can waste getting frustrated by things I can’t currently change (although I concluded I might be able to influence some of them if I choose carefully where I spend my spoons!).
Things like health conditions with no known cure, wider societal issues, potholes (!) and just the general frustrations of daily life that, on their own, are manageable, but when added together can feel exhaustingly irritating.
The reality is that some problems don’t have quick fixes. And I/we try to take responsibility for every problem all at once (and that’s what our brains can try to do), there’s a risk and high chance we could eventually burn ourselves out.
So I’ve been focusing on a few small things that are still within my influence this past week as a CBT ‘behavioural experiment’.
🌿 Nature – spending time in the garden listening to birdsong and noticing the huge world beyond my own worries. There is something grounding and reassuring about being reminded that life continues to grow, change and everything changes. The birds seem remarkably happy and unworried despite everything! I think the chicks have hatched as the house-martins are very busy!
❤️ Connection – catching up with a friend. There’s something lovely about spending time with a calm, wise person who knows how to listen without trying to fix everything. Sometimes feeling understood by just one person is enough to soothe a need to feel understood.
💆 Body – having a massage and giving my body some therapeutic care and attention. I noticed a shift not just physically, but in my energy and sense of wellbeing too.
🧠 Mind – practising CBT defusion by imagining difficult thoughts floating away on leaves in a stream, rather than arguing with them, rabbit holing with them or treating them as facts. Just stick it on a leaf and watch it float away: simple but oddly effective! It gave my very busy brain a five-minute holiday from hyper-scrolling about 50 random things.
None of these things solved a single one of the bigger issues.
They didn’t cure my fibromyalgia or remove post-op fatigue. They didn’t fix the things in the world that concern me.
Nothing outside me changed this week, but my experience of the week did and that felt like a really amazing experience! Same life but shifted experience.
One question I often ask myself is:
“What is the smallest thing I can do today that might help me become even 0.5% healthier, happier or more at peace?”
Then I try to take the very first step within 30 seconds.
I’d love to hear your own tips when life feels heavy or outside your control - please post them in the comments…