MIND OVER MIND Therapies

07/06/2026

On the 5th year of grieving…

These are the lessons that most helped me:

1. Scream in your car. It’s cathartic. Trust me. Give it a try.

2. Try not to compare your grief to others. Even if you lost the same person…it’s a different relationship.

3. Isolating is normal. Just remember to check in with the ones who check on you.

4. Ugly cries…like the ones that touch the depths of your soul are actually quite helpful. A release.

5. Express your feelings. Whether on paper, to a therapist, a trusted friend or using another creative outlet…get those emotions out so they don’t get stuck.

6. It doesn’t matter how long it’s been since you last heard their voice…the waves of grief can crash into you at any time. Any place..when reality hits again that they are really gone.

7. Let go of the guilt. We would all go back and do something differently if we could. You only had the information you had at that time with no way of knowing what was going to happen. You are only human.

8. Sometimes it helps to change traditions so it doesn’t hurt as much when they won’t be there..

9. But…Try to find a way to honor them at these events so they feel close to you.

10. Anxiety is normal. Because grief lets fear take over as you are now aware that terrible things can happen. It makes you feel out of control. Talk to your doctor if you feel it’s interfering with every day life.

11. Try a gratitude journal. I know this is the worst time to ask you to feel grateful but it helps. Just one thing a day. It could be that you didn’t burn dinner that night. But in time..it will get easier. That’s how you know you are moving through your darkest days.

12. Walk. Just getting out and getting fresh air and exercise can make a difference in your mental health. Try listening to comforting music on your walk. I love being out in nature to clear my mind.

13. Time doesn’t lessen grief. It’s what you do with that time. If you don’t grieve, emotions will have nowhere to go. You have to feel the pain of this loss. Lean into it even if it hurts. That’s how you move forward with it.

14. We are our own worst critics. Try giving yourself a no judgement zone. Grieving is frustrating. Especially when you have a particularly good day but end up a sobbing mess on the floor the next. Remember this journey is not linear. Try talking to yourself like you would if it was your best friend going through the same thing. BE your best friend because you are the only one who knows what this loss feels like.

15. Which brings me to self care. Give yourself love. And pep talks. And lots and lots of grace.

16. Grieving is a thousand conversations your mind has with your heart. Eventually your life (that you were given no choice but to live) grows around the pain. It’s a long road of getting used to this different world without your loved one in it. The pain will dull, wounds will heal, then the scab covering it sometimes gets ripped off again during special days. And so on. Which brings me back to #15. Give yourself grace.

Because I don’t have to tell you how hard this is. You know all too well. Just keep going. One minute at a time. One hour a time. Then one day. Just keep going.

25/05/2026

Sharing your thoughts and feelings with friends, family, colleagues or medical professionals helps lighten the mental load, stops you feeling so alone, and often gives you fresh perspectives that bring clarity and strength. Bottling everything up can ramp up anxiety, depression, or burnout, but talking it out releases the pressure, builds real support, and helps you heal. Remember 👌🏻

21/05/2026

🫶🏼

07/05/2026

28/04/2026

This visual explores what the screen–dopamine cycle can feel like from a child’s point of view.
It shows the internal shifts they often can’t name but deeply experience.
The pull of stimulation, the sudden drop, and the dysregulation that follows aren’t signs of defiance — they’re biology.
When we understand the cycle, limits make more sense, and compassion comes more easily.
It also helps adults see why screens become so gripping for some young people.
And why connection, rhythm, and co-regulation matter so much when supporting healthier screen habits.

You can download the Curious Conversations version of this visual for free, to use to scaffold your chats with your young people — LIKE the post and comment CYCLE below.

05/03/2026

👌🏼it's good to talk!

03/03/2026

03/02/2026

Helping your child 'switch off' from screen time doesn't always have to be a fight 😊 ###

31/01/2026

"When we can find a way and a therapist to explore our thoughts, our feelings and our behaviours, we can then begin to understand what our challenges are, and then it gives us choices and directions."

Fantastic to see Odette Hamilton and Julia Samuel on BBC Breakfast this morning. They raised so many important points about therapy and encouraged women over 50 to seek professional support if they're struggling, as part of our No More Stiff Upper Lip campaign.

Odette spoke about her own experience of therapy, how it helped her to a 'better place' and why it's a good idea to get help when you need it and not leave things piling up on you.

Julia told viewers how speaking to a therapist is different to talking to friends and urged people to look for a therapist from a professional body, such as BACP.

Watch the full interview on BBC iPlayer here (from 7:20) https://orlo.uk/ndbFC

28/11/2025

A great explanation of anxiety in children 💕

What anxiety looks like in children — and what’s actually going on underneath. A lot of people still imagine anxiety as looking shaky, panicked or obviously distressed. But in kids (and many teens), it rarely looks like that.

Most of the young people I work with look absolutely fine on the outside… while their bodies are in full “alarm mode” on the inside.
Here’s what anxiety often actually looks like in children:
>Angry outbursts
>“I don’t want to go”
>Suddenly feeling sick
>Tummy aches
>Freezing when asked a question
>Needing everything ‘just right’
>Being the class clown to hide how they feel

What’s really happening? (In proper plain English)
Children’s brains are still developing. The part that manages emotions and helps them rationalise things is much younger and less skilled than the part that scans for danger and does all the clever stuff and its much more reactive than proactive!
So when something feels scary, uncomfortable or unpredictable, their bodies react before their words can catch up.
> Their heart speeds up.
> Their stomach tightens.
> Their breathing changes.
> Their brain starts shouting: “Something’s wrong!”
> That’s why they lash out, shut down, cling, avoid, or suddenly “feel sick”.
> It’s not manipulation.
> It’s not attitude.
> It’s their nervous system going into protection mode.

Let’s use emetophobia as an example
I work with a lot of children and teens who are terrified of being sick. Here’s how it usually plays out:
>Their brain senses nausea - even normal tummy sensations.
>Their body goes into panic mode.
>Panic makes their stomach feel worse.
>Feeling worse convinces them they might be sick.
>And the cycle continues.
So what do you see?
>Refusing to eat certain foods
>Avoiding school
>“My tummy hurts” every morning
>Fear of long car journeys
>Needing constant reassurance
>Meltdowns before school or bedtime
>To a parent, it can seem irrational.

But to the child, it is completely real, scary and overwhelming!
Their body is reacting as if vomiting is a life-threatening danger!

Now if you are in the situation where your little goes into school and 'seems' to manage...
Don't be alarmed if the melt down when they get home, because they have worked so hard all day to keep it together....now they need a release!

However the good news is Anxiety — including emetophobia — is treatable.
Kids can absolutely learn to understand their body, calm their nervous system and break the cycle. You’re not imagining it.
They’re not doing it on purpose. And you don’t have to figure it out alone.
If your child is struggling with anxiety, I’m here to help support them (and you) through it.
💚 Graham
Brave Journeys Counselling