Psychotherapy and Counselling

13/06/2026

So true. We can simply ‘be’.

01/06/2026

People with AuDHD often find their traits and experiences don’t neatly fit into either category – and they can find themselves pulled in different directions.

23/05/2026

This fits with my previous musings…

Young people across different cultures describe self-harm less as a symptom of mental health difficulties, and more as a response to unbearable pressures.

14/05/2026

Being asked how to relax, how to not be so anxious, how to deal with pressure at work, being bullied at work, how to not get burn out cannot simply be answered through an individual response. Your stress, your feelings of being judged, your anxiety of underperforming isn’t conjured up by you. It is true. It is a symptom of a systemic phenomenon, which is our society.
It has always been there, those who managed to keep up and those that didn’t. It is accepted as ‘normal’ and usually attached to levels of education and intelligence.
This of course, is a flawed assumption, and the assumption is biting more and more folks. Folks dropping off, as they cannot keep up with the volume of unanswered emails, the impossible task of prioritising ( it’s been sold as ‘something you can get the hang of’, or for which you need intricate planners or spreadsheets), and are unable to meet impossible deadlines.
Managers are harassed, workers are chased and more finely tuned… all to be more efficient.

We are now competing with the computer, with AI. The speed achieved is unrivalled and it is utterly unrealistic to demand this of human beings.

A human brain needs moments of disengagement during the day. In those moments the brain processes thoughts, feelings and ideas and rests.

To have a micromanaged day( this is the norm nowadays), 30 minutes for lunch and two 10 minute breaks. The computer knows all. Calls can be traced and recorded, your ‘on and off’ time is meticulously recorded, as is your productivity.

We are reaching the point where a human being is judged on its ability to mimic a computer. A race to become less human and more efficient.
Everyone of us shall fail, and drop off the edge, as humans make mistakes, are messy, emotional, giving, fun and creative.

The fear is real, the burn out is just, the anxiety justified.

You can change by setting boundaries, by prioritising what is important to you. You can get the spreadsheets, nifty planners that promise ‘time’, you can burn candles and have long baths, go for a walk and yoga into peaceful bliss,but as long as ‘the societal system’ is focused on emulating the computer, we shall all fail!

We created machines to do the heavy lifting ( no one expects you to move a concrete wall with your bare hands), and computers to do the quick computing, but somehow the demand of society is that we keep up.

Yes, you can set boundaries, but the system needs to change. This is not an individual battle, this is a societal demand that is unjustified.

Take care of yourself.

10/05/2026

I am so hungry, for some deep, honest discussion about politics. I feel that what is provided on television is shallow, populist and bitesize. Not deep, not realistic not acknowledging the backdrop of our economic malaise… a formula copied in social media.
Promising things that people want to hear, will win their vote, but won’t solve the problem. Yet another group, under a different banner…
We all want better, but who do we mean by ‘all’? And do we ‘all’ want the same things? Do we ‘all’ agree on which path to walk? Do we ‘all’ understand the restrictions, the boundaries? The most permanent boundary highlighted by Sir David Attenborough.
Let’s pause, let’s breathe, let’s think about the many different wishes of ‘all’,
Can we try and change the discourse? Be careful with our words, respect people, wherever and whoever they are. Every person deserves respect for being on this planet, for being where they are. Everybody has worked to the best of their abilities, with the tools they were given in their journey through life. Everybody’s journey is worth listening to, everybody has worked their best to get where they are.
Every person wants security, connection and hope.
The way forward is difficult to see, depends on world events and mostly depends on whether the earth is able to provide food and water for us.
But please, can we connect, use our cerebral capacity but even more importantly our empathic capacity.

09/05/2026

18/04/2026

This is a good description, from ADHD AWARENESS:

Your Brain Is Not Broken, It Is Just Speaking a Different Chemical Language

What if I told you that the hardest part of living with ADHD is not distraction, forgetfulness, or unfinished tasks, but the quiet misunderstanding that follows you everywhere?

The image you are looking at shows dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin lighting up the brain. To most people, these are just scientific words. To someone with ADHD, they explain an entire lifetime of confusion, self-doubt, and silent effort.

This is not a story about laziness.

This is a story about chemistry.

The ADHD Brain and the Dopamine Difference

ADHD is often explained using behavior, but the real explanation starts much deeper, inside the brain.

Dopamine is the chemical responsible for motivation, focus, reward, and the feeling that something is worth doing. In a typical brain, dopamine is released in steady amounts for everyday tasks. In an ADHD brain, dopamine works differently.

This means something very important.

An ADHD brain does not respond to importance.

It responds to interest, urgency, or emotional connection.

That is why someone with ADHD can struggle to start a simple task like replying to a message, yet stay fully focused for hours on something that sparks curiosity. It is not a choice. It is chemistry guiding behavior.

Why “Just Try Harder” Never Works

Many people with ADHD grow up hearing the same sentence again and again.

“Just focus.”

“Just be disciplined.”

“Everyone feels distracted.”

But when dopamine is not flowing the same way, effort alone is not enough. Trying harder without dopamine support feels like pushing a car with no fuel and blaming yourself for not driving faster.

Over time, this creates a dangerous emotional pattern.

You start believing the problem is you.

The Emotional Cost Nobody Talks About

Living with ADHD is not just about attention. It is about emotional weight.

You start projects with hope, then struggle to finish them. You promise yourself that tomorrow will be different. You watch others move forward while you feel stuck, even though you care deeply.

Each unfinished task quietly adds to shame.

Each misunderstood moment adds to isolation.

Each comparison adds to self-doubt.

The brain is already working harder just to function, and the emotional burden makes it even heavier.

Dopamine Is Not Motivation, It Is Permission

One of the biggest myths about ADHD is that dopamine creates motivation. In reality, dopamine gives the brain permission to engage.

Without enough dopamine, the brain does not register tasks as rewarding, even if they matter deeply to the person. This is why ADHD often comes with frustration, emotional exhaustion, and cycles of burnout.

The image shows dopamine pathways lighting up the brain. For someone with ADHD, this image represents moments of clarity, excitement, and relief when the brain finally feels aligned.

Those moments exist.

They are just inconsistent.

Why ADHD Feels Invisible to Others

From the outside, ADHD can look confusing.

People see intelligence but not consistency.

They see creativity but not exhaustion.

They see effort but not results.

What they do not see is the constant internal negotiation happening inside the ADHD brain. Every task requires extra steps, extra energy, and emotional regulation that most people never have to think about.

ADHD is not visible, but its impact is constant.

Structure, Support, and Understanding Matter

An ADHD brain does not need pressure.

It needs structure that works with dopamine, not against it.

This means smaller steps, flexible routines, external reminders, and environments that reduce overwhelm. It also means compassion instead of criticism.

When dopamine is supported, ADHD strengths begin to show.

Creativity becomes innovation.

Sensitivity becomes insight.

Curiosity becomes deep understanding.

This Is Not a Weak Brain, It Is a Different One

The image reminds us that the brain is a living system, shaped by chemistry, experience, and environment. ADHD is not a failure of character. It is a difference in how the brain processes reward, focus, and emotion.

Once this is understood, everything changes.

The shame softens.

The self-blame weakens.

The healing begins.

A Final Truth That Deserves to Be Said

If you live with ADHD and you are tired, overwhelmed, or questioning yourself, there is nothing wrong with you.

Your brain is not broken.

Your effort is real.

Your struggle is valid.

Understanding dopamine is not an excuse.

It is an explanation.

And explanations have the power to replace judgment with understanding, and silence with compassion.

06/04/2026

I hadn’t fully grasped how the idea of a better future sustained me – now I, like many others, find it difficult to be productive