08/06/2026
We get praised for our people-pleasing behaviours.
For being kind…selfless…flexible…thoughtful.
Being kind and respectful is something different from overriding our own needs and boundaries for the approval of others. If we learned as children that being loved and approved of is everything to keep feeling ok about ourselves, we find ways to manage other people’s feelings and behaviours by people-pleasing.
But now, in adulthoodhood, when we are kind…selfless…flexible…thoughtful, we might get praised…or taken for granted. The lines become blurred. It’s confusing and frustrating. And exhausting. Why? Because it can upset others when we make healthy decisions and create boundaries. We feel guilt, resentment and conflict. We might even experience burnout because we’ve stopped meeting our own needs.
If you want to rediscover finding ways to be kind to yourself, follow me.