Sue S Counselling and Supervision

05/08/2026

Just in case you needed a reminder :)

05/08/2026

Rained for all of five mins but left a beautiful rainbow behind my photo doesn't do it justice the colours were very vibrant.

05/08/2026

Grief has many dimensions, and each can hold pain and distress. The death of someone we love is known as the “primary loss”; the other losses that follow are often called “secondary losses”.

Our primary loss remains the initial, direct loss—for example, the death of a loved one or pet, illness, disability, or the end of a relationship or a job role. This first loss can trigger secondary losses.

Secondary losses arise as a consequence of the primary loss. They are often unexpected, yet they can deeply affect us, creating turbulence as we move back and forth through grief, like waves returning to shore and flowing out again.

Secondary losses are the parts of grief we can process, heal from, and grow around. Step by step, we become stronger as we adjust to our loved one’s absent presence in daily life. When we are ready, in our own time and at our own pace, we begin to create a new normal.

It is important to acknowledge and recognise both our primary and secondary losses because it is the secondary losses which compound our grieving process. Often overlooked by the grieving person and their family and friends, as they can emerge in the immediacy of the primary loss or become known over the months that follow.

Grief takes time and as individuals we all grieve in our own time there is no rush or timeline to ending our grieving process. But it does end, step by step we recognise we are living once again and we have built a new normal that fits us in the here and now.

Counselling can offer a safe space to talk about your loved one, explore what you miss about them, make sense of what has happened, and consider how you may adjust to life without them. If you are struggling, please engage a professional and experienced counsellor or visit my website to learn more about me and how I work: www.pendulumofpeace.com

04/08/2026

Come join other supervisors in Laura's new group.

Any fellow counselling supervisors following me?

I’ve created a new page The Supervisors Circle, here on Facebook and Instagram.

A place for supervisors to feel supported, connected and join in conversations around curiosity about all things supervision and building confidence as a supervisor.

Like counselling itself, being a supervisor can sometimes feel
Isolating and feel like you are doing it all alone.

I created The Supervisors Circle so, as a supervisor, you won’t feel you are doing it all alone

Links to both pages are in the comments below, I would love to build a supportive Supervisors space

If this feels like something that would be helpful to you come and join us.

04/08/2026

Grief and loss is where I began my counselling career and I have spent more than 23 year supporting people through their loss of a loved one and I worked in a Children's Hospice for nearly 8 years.

When we are bereft we may feel many physical tensions and for some we can feel ill. All the symptoms below and more are all 'normal' to experience when we are bereft and grieving.

We all go through grief several times during our lifespan.

Grief isn't confined to losing a beloved one through death although we associate more with death.

We can feel bereft if we've suffered a trauma at what might have been, a lost childhood, a self that we don't know any longer or a self that never developed.

We may suffer grief when a beloved pet dies or we may suffer grief if we have a serious illness and our identity changes because of it or we become disabled and suffer the grief of ourself before we were impaired.

If you are suffering and feeling bereft don't stay alone talked to your loved ones or friends or engage with a counsellor to talk and support you through your grieving journey.

03/08/2026

Good morning and welcome to my little nook of the internet, thank you for visiting, commentating and connecting to my page. It’s wonderful to read your inspiring messages, different perspective and saying good morning/afternoon helps me know there are good, friendly people out there …… keep them coming.

My hopes are my posts will help and support you in some small way, take what you need and leave the rest.

As we begin a new month and lots of new followers have arrived, I thought I’d introduce myself.

I’m Sue, as a mature lady, I'm not new, yet my mental and emotional worlds are always renewing and refreshing a bit like a computer having new downloads and updates.

I've lived a life full of challenges, as a little girl with a Pollyanna attitude I found the good in all people and all things. I never lost that small thing with feathers HOPE, which helped me see the light despite all the darkness.

I’m happy to say my pendulum osculates slowly, steadily and balanced most of the time these days, its natural for it to go off kilter sometimes. The skill is to use our resilience and courage to bring our nervous system back to safety and feel balanced again, homeostatic as its known.

Thriving is the new me.

I run a busy Counselling & Supervision private practice which is often full, so my places are always limited and at the moment I am full to capacity.

I believe we all need a witness to our life stories and counselling is the place where you won’t be judged, told what to do or have your secrets divulged, confidentiality is this way.

You will be professionally cared for with heart and soul as the unique and beautiful individual you are. As a therapist I help co-regulate emotions and nervous system through empathy and compassion, attunement and seeing and hearing who you are, who you present in the moment by moment interactions and you want to become.

For me sharing in another’s healing journey as we walk side-by-side facing your challenging trails, compassionately, together, for me is a privilege, an honour and awe-inspiring.

My core philosophy for my work is not pathologizing since I believe as human’s our bodies and mind are designed to protect us, as such when we react to traumatic and distressing experiences, we react and respond in a normal and natural way. Its not medication we are in most need of.

Its connection, attunement, a safe environment, safe relationships to anchor ourselves to regulate our nervous system, we need to 'feel' safe on a cellular level.

Our bodies, mind, brain and emotional landscape adapt to our environments to survive, in doing so we often become disembodied and all that entails rather than broken or permanently damaged, as was once upon a time my personal beliefs of myself.

Along my personal healing path I came to understood more about what it is to be a human being with all my facets, we’re not single minded but multi-minded there are no bad parts, just confused, disorientated, discombobulated, fragmented, dissociated, used and abused parts trying to survive.

Along our paths we will meet many wizards of Oz, the knack is to discern them and their affects upon us, which can be tricky, yet not impossible.

The wizard of Oz as I remember conveys our universal human experiences, since Oz was one of the greatest pretenders of all time, along with the wicked witch, both an illusion of power and authority, manipulating our thoughts and feelings.

Conveying how deception and fear change how we act, Dorothy’s wisdom told we already have what we need inside us i.e. courage, wisdom, heart and humanity. Needs are to realise them in us as individuals and as members of the family of man.

We also meet many Glinda’s, most of us are somewhere inbetween.

Eventually I understood what it is to ‘just be’ a Human Being trying to survive. There is wisdom in all our emotions even those we label negative, if we embrace them, they have a lot to impart on both a personal and universal level.

Counselling can be a challenge, yet it is in the messy, the fearful, the non-coping, the struggles, the confusing, the non-understanding, the vulnerabilities, that small quiet voice trying to be heard. Also, in the curious, the connection, the attunement, the relationship we find our own answers to our personal healing.

To have our truth of our personal lived experiences seen, heard, believed, accepted for what they were/are just as we are. Is empowering in itself. When that happens it like we are living for the very first time.

As someone once said, “life isn’t a rehearsal”, we don’t get another shot at it. Our lives are happening now, so every moment counts, don’t put things off until something is fulfilled because that might never happen. Live now and make each and every moment count for you.

Thrive and let your magic begin.

02/08/2026

SUNDAY'S MUSINGS - we all have many emotions we experience throughout our day and they change and transition all the time often without us noticing them at all.

This poem by Rumi tells us to embrace all our emotions as a guest because our feelings are not permeant and to embrace each and every emotion with acceptance and thank them for the message they have to impart to us.

I think the deeper message is 'what we resist persists' and this is definitely my personal lived experience. Once I lost my fear of my emotions and at some points in my life once upon a time I've felt my feelings were about to kill me they were that intense.

But here I am able to tell you my story. Our darker more fearful emotions carry a lot of wisdom in them but we are often to afraid to hear or see that wisdom. Our own wisdom.

If you have emotions that don't sit comfortably with you and they are affecting and restricting your daily living or to difficult to explore alone enlist a counsellor professional counsellor who will be able to explore them with you in a safe environment.

01/08/2026

TODAY'S AFFIRMATIONS - I AM Enough - I've been posting all week about toxic psychological abuse so today I am posting some affirming affirmations to support anyone who needs to hear I AM ENOUGH. . You are enough and you can do this. Wishing you all a peaceful Saturday.

31/07/2026

Psychological abuse – Word Salad

Yet another manipulative tactic in the toxic persons toolkit.

The person uses circular arguments, nonsensical language, doesn’t respond to what has been said to them but to something totally unrelated. Lacks logic, patronizing and condescending, overgeneralizations and lots of meaningless facts and denying.

Word Salad is designed to confuse, bewilder, knock us off balance and to evade accountability. This is used to induce doubt through jumbled language creating a fog of uncertainty and in the confused state we find ourselves in as their victim it is difficult to challenge what they are saying or doing.

Toxic people are master manipulators and will do anything to win the upper hand as they see it and to take power and control for others.

Word salad leaves us worn down, unsettled and totally confused trying to understand what they are talking about. A form of verbal assassination preventing healthy communications or finding any solutions to the argument which the point has been lost in the circular movements.

These conversations are going nowhere. The conversation is not going to end well as the toxic person denies us the right to speak, express ourselves authentically, express opinion or ideas. It’s all about them., there is no middle ground because they don’t want a middle ground or compromise or mutually beneficial outcomes.
Victims end up questioning, self-doubting and blaming self, this is exactly what the toxic person sets out to do.

The antidote to word salad is:

• STOP-PAUSE-BREATHE before you react to them, giving yourself time to think more clearly and respond in a rational way.
• Stay focused and don’t allow yourself to go off on a tangent sticking up for yourself or denying what they are saying. Stay on topic.
• Set boundaries and clear communication rules with the other to stop them being dominant and controlling.
• BE assertive and if you don’t know how to be assertive, seek support and learn the skills.
• Don’t repeat anything which they have already spoken.
• Try not to lose your temper that’s exactly what they want – then it’s easy for them to shift blame onto you.
• Stop trying to persuade them you are right we will never win this one.
• Stop and listen to recognise the pattern they offer.
• End the conversation in a calm way e.g. I’ve had enough for today lets revisit this another time”.

Word Salad is one of the most manipulative tactics if there is one that’s more confusing than the others.

It not impossible to overcome such toxic relationships with the right counsellor who is aware, skilled and knowledge reach out you got nothing more to lose.

30/07/2026

Psychological abuse – Baiting

Is a deliberate tactic to evoke a specific emotional response from another to gain power and control, whilst also reinforcing their superiority.

What the other is aiming to do is provoke negative emotions in their victims e.g. anger, guilt or fear. This provides the provoker with attention, admiration and reinforces their ego and shifts blame from themselves.

Look it’s you who is angry not me, deflecting from their behaviour onto you, their victim.

They exploit your insecurities and use anything you have shared with them about your fears to taunt us, use them against us to manipulate and evoke a negative reaction from us. By false accusations and guilt tripping us.

Then they can say look its you not me.

The goal of baiting is to assert their dominance, control and power over us.

This reinforces their sense of superiority, diverts attention away from their behaviours onto us and feeds their ego through our distress.

The antidote to baiting is:

*Stop-Pause-Breathe before reacting to what they are saying

*Be neutral and non-reactive – respond with OK, maybe or just be silent which prevents the reaction they are seeking from us.

*Set firm boundaries and protect our emotional space.

*Focus on self-care, personal wants and needs.

*Stop defending self when they are in mid-flight because it shows them they are affecting us and they lap that up. Say I didn’t do that, that wasn’t me, we both know the truth don’t we.

*Don’t show them any emotional reaction but respond, calmly. This will take time, patience and practice but it can be done.

Baiting keeps us constantly off balance, confused and frustrated, we can be forgiven for reacting because it is designed to evoke many emotions to feed the abusers ego.

Any reaction they can evoke they win – don’t let them!