08/08/2026
Extended Family Relationship
Esther and Her Extended Family ( the Jews)
Esther is now married to the most powerful man in the world and settled. But at the same time there had been a problem brewing in the background. It was between Mordecai- her big cousin or "father" (since he raised her up, for she was orphaned very early in life) and Haman, the second in command, to the king. Haman was determined to destroy Mordecai and by extension all Jews for the sake of their belief and culture which he felt was disrespectful of him.
Esther was sent a message, by Mordecai, to alert her of the genocide that was about to take place and wanted her to get her husband, the king, to help out.
Esther thought about it and was worried for what was coming ahead. But the question was, "should l bring up such a delicate matter before my husband? Should l disturb this young marriage to the king, with my family issues? Should l not "leave and cleave"? What if the king does not extend the staff of favour to me and I'm as such sentenced to death" ? So many questions and so many challenges to deal with. Esther's first reaction was to turn it down. But because of the challenge and encouragement by Mordecai, she decided to take on the task even if it meant her life.
This delicate step was not to be taken however without adequate prayer covering. So Esther requested for all Jews to fast and pray for her. Like we know, the king looked favourably on Esther and her people; and was willing to do all that it took to save his wife's people.
Extended family issues remain one of the biggest challenges to marriages across cultures today.
Should we follow this example? Are there needs and situations in our extended families, that should make us risk rocking our marriage? Are we to accept our in-laws as ours family or are we to stick to our spouses only?
Is there a way we can respond to our extended family needs without affecting our relationships with our spouses?
These are some of the issues we need to ponder upon with our spouses and arrive at a safe, balanced and biblical solution.
I believe that for us to have a successful relationship with our in-laws , the first step is to have a frank talk with our spouses regarding this and come to a decision on the rules of engagements. I also know that no matter how much we discuss, if we don't start on the basis of love we are likely to have difficulties along the line.
This matter runs deep into the very roots of marriage itself. When you get married to anyone both of you become one and a new family unit. While this is now your family primarily, let's not forget that this does not mean the death of the families we came out from. The husband remains a son to his parents while the wife remains a daughter to her parents.
It is an illusion to think that these relationship fade away into oblivion when we get married. We then find rather that we remain connected to our families one way or another.
The bible is our basis and foundation for a successful marriage. Now tell me if you can find one reference in scriptures that decry relationships with our now extended family members.
So, aom to build healthy relationships.
