12/05/2026
The Strange Reason Why Staying Stuck Can Feel Safer Than Moving On...
Have you ever tried to support someone through a difficult time, only to feel that the more you give, the more dependent they seem to become?
There may be something deeper at play—something called secondary gain.
This is when, often subconsciously, a person may receive hidden benefits from staying unwell or stuck—such as extra care, attention, avoiding difficult decisions, or stepping away from responsibilities. The struggle is very real, but sometimes the support itself can become a comfort zone, making change feel frightening.
I often see clients who fear that if they begin coping better, the people supporting them may step away. But in reality, true friends and family usually want to see us grow stronger—not more dependent.
Healing isn’t just about removing symptoms. It’s about rebuilding confidence, independence, and self-belief.
A few small steps can make a huge difference:
✔ Finish one important task you’ve been putting off
✔ Try a new hobby or activity
✔ Arrange that suggested coffee date yourself
✔ Start doing things that are satisfying and remind you of your own strength
The past cannot be changed - but it can teach us, and with the right support, we really can move forward... one small step at a time.
If you’d like to read the full article and/or learn more about how hypnotherapy can help create lasting positive change with a wide variety of different issues and concerns, visit my website www.mindinmotion.co.uk/blog/ and get in touch for a free consultation.
My personal blog about hypnotherapy, Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT), and techniques to guide you through anxiety and trauma recovery.