She Thinks Different

09/09/2026

💜 A LITTLE SNEAK PEEK… 👀

Okay, so She Thinks Different has been a little quiet on social media lately.

And I promise it's not because I've run out of things to say.
As if. 😂

It's because behind the scenes, I have been working on something BIG.

These workshop series have been in the pipeline for months — and we're FINALLY at the stage where we're putting the last touches to the content, resources and materials before we officially launch them with dates.

And I am SO bloody excited about this next chapter of She Thinks Different. 💜

Because I didn't want to create another series of workshops where someone talks at you for two hours, gives you a pretty PDF and sends you off into the world to somehow “just be more organised.”

Absolutely chuffin' not. 😂

I wanted to create the kind of support I wish more neurodivergent women had access to.

The actual stuff.

Why can't I just DO the thing?
Why am I absolutely exhausted all the time?
Why does rejection hurt that much?
Why do relationships feel so bloody complicated?
Why can I organise an entire crisis but can't make a phone call I've been avoiding for three weeks?
Why does my brain apparently require a deadline, mild panic and the threat of imminent disaster before it agrees to cooperate? 👀

We're talking ADHD. AuDHD. Burnout. RSD. Executive dysfunction. Relationships. Hormones. Masking. Money. Motherhood. Overthinking. Sensory overload. Boundaries. Self-worth.
And everything in between.

No clinical jargon for the sake of sounding clever.

No judgement.

No pretending that buying another bloody planner is going to fix your executive functioning. 😂

Just proper psychological understanding, practical tools, honest conversations and a community of women whose brains work a little differently.

There are THREE full workshop series coming, alongside standalone STD Masterclasses for those who want to deep-dive into specific topics.

And honestly?
I'm ridiculously proud of what we're building.

We're not quite ready to release dates yet — I'm still putting the finishing touches to everything because when this launches, I want it to be GOOD.
But I couldn't keep it to myself any longer. 👀

So here's your first little look at what's coming…

She Thinks Different is entering her next era. 💜🌿

And I have a feeling it's going to be an amazing one.

REAL LIFE. REAL TOOLS. NO FLUFF.

Dates and full booking details coming very, very soon. 🫶🏼

29/08/2026

🚨 I’M GIVING WOMEN STDs. 🚨

There. I said it.

And before anybody rings the clinic…

SHE. THINKS. DIFFERENT. 😂💜

Although, admittedly, calling this the STD WORKSHOP SERIES may be one of my more questionable marketing decisions.

But we're committed now. 👀

And frankly, this might be the only STD you'll actively want to catch, keep AND pass on to your mates.

So... what am I actually talking about?

I’m launching 12 LIVE online workshops specifically for neurodivergent women - ADHD, AuDHD, diagnosed, self-identifying, questioning, late-realising, permanently overwhelmed or simply wondering why the heck their brain seems to have been issued without an instruction manual.

No clinical bo****ks.
No sitting through three hours of PowerPoint slides while someone explains ADHD to you like you've never met yourself.

And absolutely NO…

✨ “Have you tried making a list?” ✨

Groundbreaking, Susan. Thank you.

These are 2-hour, live, interactive Teams workshops with me, other neurodivergent women, actual psychology, honest conversation, practical strategies and a workbook to take away.

And we're covering ALL the shizzle 👇🏼

🔥 1. WHY THE F**K CAN’T I JUST DO IT?
ADHD paralysis, procrastination & motivation.

🔥 2. AM I LAZY, OR IS MY BRAIN ABSOLUTELY KNACKERED?
Burnout, overwhelm, masking & shutdown.

🔥 3. WHY AM I SO F**KING SENSITIVE?
Rejection sensitivity, criticism, rumination & emotional regulation.

🔥 4. I KNOW WHAT I NEED TO DO. SO WHY AREN’T I DOING IT?
Organisation, routines, time blindness, doom piles & systems that actually work with your brain.

💜 These are our FOUR LAUNCH WORKSHOPS.

£10 each OR all four for £30.

Then the STDs just keep coming... 👀😂

5. EVERYONE THINKS I’M COPING
Masking, perfectionism, people pleasing & over-functioning.

6. WHY ARE RELATIONSHIPS SO BLOODY HARD?
Communication, attachment, conflict, emotional intensity & ND relationships.

7. THE NEUROSPICY HORMONE S**TSHOW
ADHD/AuDHD, periods, PMDD, pregnancy, postpartum & perimenopause.

8. LATE DIAGNOSED: WHO THE F**K AM I NOW?
Grief, anger, relief, identity & unmasking.

9. STOP PEOPLE PLEASING BEFORE YOU LOSE YOUR S**T
Boundaries, guilt, resentment & finally learning to say NO.

10. ADHD MONEY CHAOS
Impulsive spending, avoidance, dopamine buying, unopened bills & financial shame.

11. THE NEUROSPICY MUM
Sensory overload, parenting guilt, overstimulation & raising children while trying to regulate your own bloody nervous system.

12. WHEN ADHD LOOKS LIKE ANXIETY
Racing thoughts, catastrophising, avoidance, hypervigilance & understanding what's actually driving the anxiety.

📅 Every Monday from 14th September
⏰ 6–8pm
💻 LIVE on Microsoft Teams
📚 Workbook included

And these aren't therapy groups.

You don't have to tell 49 strangers about your childhood.

You don't have to turn your camera on and perform being sociable.

You can participate, ask questions, listen, learn, sit there with your brew, crochet, doodle, pace around your kitchen or stare blankly into the middle distance while your brain processes everything. 😂

Neurodivergent behaviour is very welcome here.

The whole point of She Thinks Different has always been:
Stop trying to force women to function like everybody else...
…and start helping them understand how THEY function.

So yes.

GET YOURSELF AN STD. 💜😂

Side effects may include:
✨ Understanding your brain
✨ Better boundaries
✨ Less shame
✨ More self-compassion
✨ Practical tools that actually make sense
✨ And a dramatically reduced tolerance for bu****it.

FIRST FOUR WORKSHOPS - LAUNCH PRICE
💷 £10 each
🔥 OR ALL FOUR FOR £30

Places will be limited.

📩 To book your STD 😝 or ask me anything:
[email protected]

And for once in your life...
please feel free to pass this STD on to your friends. 🫶🏼

SHE THINKS DIFFERENT.

Real life. Real tools. No Fluff.

24/08/2026

NEURODIVERGENT WOMEN: REST BEFORE YOUR BODY FORCES YOU TO.

This is your reminder that rest does not have to be earned.

You don't need to finish the list first.
You don't need to answer every email.
You don't need to clean the house.
You don't need to reach complete physical and neurological collapse before you're finally allowed to stop.

And apparently I needed to learn this lesson the bloody hard way. 👀😂

For most of my life, I had two settings:
GO.
and
CRASH.
I'd work until I couldn't.
Socialise until I couldn't.
Push through overwhelm until I couldn't.
Ignore tiredness until I couldn't.

And then wonder why every few months my brain basically put up an OUT OF OFFICE and stopped cooperating altogether.

Because so many neurodivergent women become incredibly good at functioning beyond their actual capacity.

We mask.
We compensate.
We run on adrenaline.
We tell ourselves we'll rest after this week.

Then next week arrives with another seventeen things that apparently need doing.
And because we're technically still functioning, we assume we're fine.
Functioning and coping are not always the same thing.
That's something I understand very differently now.

So today?

I'm lying beside a pool.
I'm not being productive.
I'm not optimising anything.
I'm not thinking about what I should be doing instead.

Okay... my ADHD brain is probably thinking about approximately 46 things, but we're ignoring her. 🤣

Because recovery isn't the reward you get when you've finally done enough.
Recovery is part of how you continue functioning.

And sometimes taking care of your neurodivergent brain looks like planners, routines, therapy, coaching and clever strategies.

Sometimes it looks like recognising sensory overload and reducing demands.
Sometimes it looks like saying no.
Sometimes it looks like cancelling plans.

And sometimes...

It looks like getting your arse on a sun lounger and doing absolutely sod all for a while. 😂☀️

No guilt.
No justification.
No waiting until burnout gives you permission.

I'm learning to stop treating rest like something I have to deserve.
And I strongly recommend it. 💜

19/08/2026

🤣👀💜

NOT BEING FUNNY BUT…

Can we discuss one of the most socially accepted forms of LYING?

“I'm five minutes away.”

Are you?

ARE YOU HECK. 😂

You're standing in your bedroom in a towel.

Your hair is wet.

You've lost one shoe.

You haven't decided what you're wearing.

And Google Maps currently estimates your arrival time as:

Absolutely not five minutes.

Yet somehow you've confidently typed:

“Just round the corner babe! xx”

WHAT CORNER?!

THE ONE OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE?! 😭

And there are different levels to this particular deception.

“I'm just leaving now.”

You're looking for your keys.

“I'm on my way.”

You've found your keys but remembered you need a wee.

“Nearly there.”

You've actually left the house.

“Parking now.”

You are approximately three postcodes away.

😂😂😂

And the weird thing is…

We ALL KNOW.

Someone messages:

“I'll be there in 10 xx”

and depending on who it is, you instinctively know whether that means:

10 minutes.

20 minutes.

Or:

“You may as well put another bloody wash on.” 🙄

Some people actually have their own conversion rate.

Sarah minutes aren't normal minutes.

Sarah says 15?

Excellent.

See you in 47. 😂

And WHY can't we just tell the truth?

“I haven't left yet.”

That's it.

Nobody dies.

Instead we create an elaborate fictional journey where apparently we're simultaneously travelling towards somebody AND applying mascara in our bathroom.

Maybe it's optimism.

Maybe it's denial.

Maybe some humans genuinely believe that if they SAY they're five minutes away loudly enough, the laws of time and space will simply accommodate them.

They will not. 😂

So come on…

What's YOUR version of “I'm five minutes away”?

And more importantly:

Who's the person in your life whose “five minutes” you automatically translate into 45? 🤣

Tag the person 👀

🎙️ Not Being Funny But…

19/08/2026

ADHD PARALYSIS: STOP TRYING TO FIX THE WRONG PROBLEM

One of the most common things I hear from neurodivergent women is:

“I know what I need to do. I WANT to do it. So why the hell can’t I just START?”

And this is where ADHD paralysis is so often misunderstood.

From the outside, it can look like procrastination.

You’re sitting on the sofa.
Scrolling.
Walking around the house.
Making another coffee.
Doing seventeen completely unrelated jobs.
Meanwhile, THE THING remains untouched.

So people assume:
“You’re avoiding it.”
“You obviously don’t want it enough.”
“You need more discipline.”

Except ADHD paralysis is often an executive-function problem, not a moral one.

There can be a gap between having the intention to do something and successfully activating, sequencing and sustaining the behaviour required to actually do it.

And importantly:

Not all ADHD paralysis has the same cause.

If we don't understand why your brain has hit the brakes, we can end up throwing completely useless strategies at it.

🧠 1. OVERWHELM PARALYSIS

There are simply too many things competing for attention.
Your brain can't establish priority, so everything feels equally urgent.
Instead of choosing one?
System overload. Nothing starts.
Try: get everything OUT of your head. Then choose ONE task — not the entire list.

🧩 2. TASK-INITIATION PARALYSIS

You know exactly what needs doing.
You just can't seem to cross the invisible line between:
“I need to do it” → “I'm doing it.”
Try making the starting point almost laughably small.
Not:
“Clean the kitchen.”
Try:
“Put one plate in the dishwasher.”
We're looking for activation, not completion.

❓ 3. UNCLEAR-TASK PARALYSIS

“Sort paperwork.”
“Work on website.”
“Do finances.”
Those aren't really tasks.
They're categories containing approximately 84 decisions. 😂
Your brain may not know where to begin.
Try asking:
What is the FIRST physical action required?
Open the banking app.
Find the document.
Write the email subject line.
Tiny and specific.

👀 4. PERFECTIONISM PARALYSIS

Sometimes you aren't struggling to start because you don't care.
You're struggling because you care too bloody much.
What if I get it wrong?
What if it's not good enough?
What if someone judges it?
What if I can't do it as well as I know I could?
So your brain discovers the safest way to avoid failure:
Don't start.
Try deliberately aiming for a rough first attempt.
You can improve something that exists.
You cannot edit a blank page.

🥱 5. LOW-STIMULATION PARALYSIS

Some tasks provide virtually no immediate reward.
The deadline is weeks away.
It's repetitive.
It's boring.
Nothing interesting happens when you complete it.
Your brain knows it's important...
and remains spectacularly unimpressed. 🤣
This is where adding stimulation or immediacy can sometimes help:
Music.
A timer.
Body doubling.
Changing environment.
A mini-deadline.
A reward afterwards.

🔋 6. CAPACITY PARALYSIS

And THIS ONE matters.
Sometimes you don't need another productivity strategy.
You're exhausted.
You've masked all day.
You've been socially “on.”
You've managed sensory overload.
You've made hundreds of decisions.
You've been pushing through for weeks.
And now your brain has nothing left.
That isn't necessarily a moment to ask:
“How do I force myself to perform?”
It may be time to ask:
“What can I remove?”
Because you cannot productivity-hack your way out of genuine depletion.

This is why “JUST DO IT” doesn't work.

Before trying to solve paralysis, ask:

What kind of stuck am I?
Overwhelmed?
Under-stimulated?
Unclear?
Perfectionistic?
Unable to initiate?
Or completely bloody depleted?

Because each one requires something different.

And this is a huge part of the work I do with neurodivergent women.

We're not trying to turn an ADHD brain into a neurotypical one.

We're learning to recognise patterns, understand executive-function needs and build strategies around the brain that's actually there.

Because sometimes the answer is:
Make the task smaller.

Sometimes it's:
Make the task clearer.

Sometimes it's:
Give the brain more stimulation.

And sometimes?

It's:
For the love of God, woman. REST. 😂💜

The aim isn't perfect productivity.
It's learning the difference between a brain that needs help getting started and a nervous system that's asking you to stop.

19/08/2026

#2 THINGS I THOUGHT WERE PERSONALITY TRAITS BEFORE I REALISED I WAS AuDHD…

Being completely incapable of doing ANYTHING when I had too much to do.

This one used to absolutely baffle me.

Give me three things to do?
Fine.
Give me seventeen things to do?
Apparently the only sensible option is to sit on the sofa, scroll through my phone and do NONE OF THE CHUFFIN THINGS. 🤣

And the entire time I'm sitting there doing nothing, I'm not actually relaxing.
Oh no.
My brain is screaming:
YOU NEED TO DO THE THINGS.

I know.

THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS.

I KNOW.

WHY AREN'T YOU DOING THEM?!

I DON'T BLOODY KNOW!!!!!!!

Before I knew I was AuDHD, I genuinely thought this was one of my worst personality traits.

Lazy.
Undisciplined.
Avoidant.
A procrastinator.
Maybe even a bit self-sabotaging.

University should probably have been my biggest clue. 👀

Throughout my ENTIRE degree, I could be given an assignment three months in advance.

Three whole months.

Twelve weeks.

More than enough time to research it calmly, write it gradually, proofread it and submit it like a sensible human being.

Did I?
DID I HECK. 🤣

I'd think about it.
I'd worry about it.
I'd tell myself every morning:
“Right. TODAY we're starting that assignment.”

And then suddenly my brain would discover approximately 638 other things that urgently required my attention.

And I mean anything.

My brain would genuinely rather have me cleaning every individual spindle on the staircase with a bloody toothbrush than open that Word document.

And we all know how much I hate cleaning, so that tells you everything!!!
My nan would walk into my house, take one look at me aggressively working that toothbrush covered in bleach and say "you have something important to do don't you!" 🤦🏻‍♀️

The washing? Fascinating.
Reorganising a cupboard? Urgent.
Cleaning something nobody has cleaned since 2004?
SIGN ME UP.

The 3,000-word assignment worth a significant percentage of my degree?
Absolutely not. We don't know her.

Until deadline day.

Then something miraculous happened.

Deadline: 12:00am.
Gemma at 11:59pm: SUBMIT.

Every.
Bloody.
Time.

And because I usually managed to pull it off, my brain learned possibly the worst lesson imaginable:
“See? Starting three months ago was completely unnecessary. Apparently we perform miracles under threat.”
🤦🏼‍♀️🤣

What I understand now is that this wasn't simply me being a terrible procrastinator.

Urgency was doing the activation work that intention couldn't.

I cared about the assignment.
I knew it mattered.
I'd been thinking about the thing for MONTHS.

But knowing something is important and being able to initiate it are not the same thing.

Three months away, the consequence was abstract.

Eleven minutes away?

HELLO, PANIC-POWERED BRAIN. WE'VE BEEN EXPECTING YOU. 😂

And that's one of the strangest parts of ADHD paralysis.

You can desperately want to do something.
Know you need to do it.
Feel increasingly stressed because you're NOT doing it...
and still not be able to start.

And it doesn't disappear when university finishes.

Now it might be:

The email.
The client notes.
The invoice.
The washing.
The phone call.
The shopping.
The admin.
The thing I forgot yesterday.
The thing I need to remember tomorrow.
The thing that's suddenly become urgent because I've avoided it for six days.

And instead of my brain neatly going:
“Right. We'll start with number one.”
It goes:
“HELLS BELLS, THAT'S A LOT.”
And shuts the shop.

That's ADHD paralysis.

That horrible gap between:

knowing what you need to do
and
being able to make yourself start doing it.

And diagnosis completely changed the way I respond to it.

Because I'd spent years treating an executive-function difficulty like a character defect.

And apparently character defects require criticism.

So naturally I tried:

"Come on Gemma."
"Stop being ridiculous."
"Just get on with it."
"Everyone else manages this."

Surprisingly enough, bullying myself did not magically improve my executive functioning.

Who knew? 👀😂

Now I ask a different question.

Instead of:

“What the hell is wrong with me?”

I ask:

“What is making this difficult to start?”
Is there too much?
Do I actually know what the first step is?
Is the task boring?
Is it emotionally uncomfortable?
Am I scared I'll do it wrong?
Am I exhausted?
Have I accidentally turned one task into seventeen tasks in my head?
Do I need accountability?
Do I need stimulation?
Do I need some artificial urgency before 11:59pm? 😂
Do I need to make the first step ridiculously small?

Because sometimes:

“Sort my finances”
is enough to make my brain want to leave the country.

Whereas:
“Open the banking app.”
Fine.
We can do that.

And sometimes paralysis isn't telling me:

“You need to try harder.”
Sometimes it's telling me:
“You have exceeded your capacity.”
And those are VERY different problems.

One might need task breakdown, accountability, stimulation or momentum.

The other might need me to STOP.
Rest.
Reduce demands.
Move something.
Ask for help.
Come back tomorrow.

Learning the difference has been huge for me.

And it links perfectly to what I talked about yesterday - building my working week around the brain I actually have.

Because I know what happens when I repeatedly expect myself to operate at 100%.

Eventually my brain doesn't give me 80%.

Or 50%.

It gives me:

Absolutely NOTHING. 🤣

So no.

I'm not lazy.
I'm not incapable.
And I definitely wasn't casually enjoying those three months while an assignment sat untouched.

Sometimes there's simply a traffic jam between intention and action.

And these days, instead of standing behind it screaming at myself...
I'm learning how to find another route. 💜

18/08/2026

AuDHD: WHEN YOU NEED ROUTINE… BUT ALSO NEED EVERYONE TO LEAVE YOU THE HELL ALONE 🤣

One of the most confusing things I hear from AuDHD women is:

“I NEED structure… but the minute something becomes a routine, I don't want to bloody do it anymore.”

And clinically, this makes perfect sense.

Because when autistic and ADHD traits coexist, you can end up trying to meet two seemingly contradictory needs.

Your autistic side may benefit from:

✨ predictability
✨ routine
✨ preparation
✨ knowing what's happening next
✨ fewer unexpected changes

While your ADHD side may be drawn towards:

✨ novelty
✨ stimulation
✨ freedom
✨ flexibility
✨ doing things when the motivation actually bloody arrives

So you create the perfect routine.

Colour code it.

Buy the planner.

Build the spreadsheet.

Schedule EVERYTHING.

Your autistic brain goes:

“Excellent. We are SAFE.”

And three days later your ADHD brain goes:

“This feels like prison. Burn it down.”

😂

Then comes the bit that causes the most damage:

We blame ourselves.

"Why can't I stick to anything?"

"Why am I so inconsistent?"

"Why do routines work for everyone except me?"

"Why can I be unbelievably productive one day and barely function the next?"

And because we assume the problem is discipline, we respond by creating MORE structure.

More rules.

More expectations.

More pressure.

Which can eventually make the whole thing even harder to maintain.

What can work better?

Something I often call:

PREDICTABLE FLEXIBILITY.

Instead of building a life where every hour is controlled, create enough structure to give your nervous system safety while deliberately leaving room for autonomy, novelty and fluctuating capacity.

Think:

ANCHORS + FLEXIBILITY + RECOVERY.

⚓ ANCHORS

These are the predictable parts of your day or week.

The things that reduce decision-making and create some stability.

Maybe that's:

A consistent morning routine.

Certain working days.

Regular meal times.

A weekly planning session.

A set bedtime routine.

Not 47 rules.

Just enough anchors to stop life feeling completely chaotic.

🌪️ FLEXIBILITY

This is where we deliberately leave breathing room.

Not every hour needs allocating.

Not every day needs maximising.

Leave space where you can choose what your brain has capacity for.

Productive?

Brilliant.

Want to start something creative?

Go for it.

Need to sit in your pyjamas watching the same programme you've already seen twelve times?

Also valid.

Flexibility isn't failure to follow the plan.

Flexibility IS part of the plan.

🔋 RECOVERY

And this is the bit neurodivergent women are spectacularly good at forgetting.

Stop scheduling your life based purely on whether there is technically space in the diary.

Start asking:

“What will this cost my nervous system?”

A three-hour social event isn't necessarily just three hours.

It might also require preparation beforehand and recovery afterwards.

A full day of client-facing work may require a lower-demand evening.

A busy weekend may mean Monday needs to look different.

That's not laziness.

That's capacity planning.

Your diary should reflect your nervous system — not just your available hours.

And THIS is where neurodivergent support needs to move beyond:

"Have you tried using a planner?"

Yes 👀

We have planners.

WE HAVE SEVENTEEN OF THEM. 🤣

The work is understanding:

What gives you stability?

What gives you autonomy?

What drains you?

What restores you?

Where are you repeatedly exceeding your capacity?

And what can realistically change?

Because the goal isn't to become brilliantly consistent at overriding yourself.

The goal is sustainability.

You may need routine.

You may also need freedom.

You may need productivity.

You absolutely need recovery.

Those things don't contradict each other.

The magic is learning how to build a life where all of them are allowed to exist.

💜

18/08/2026

#2 THINGS I THOUGHT WERE PERSONALITY TRAITS BEFORE I REALISED I WAS AuDHD…

Being chaotic, inconsistent and apparently incapable of maintaining a “normal” working week. 🤣

For YEARS I couldn't understand myself.

I desperately wanted structure.
I wanted plans, routines, organisation and predictability.
But then I'd create the routine...
and immediately want to escape from said routine.

I'd work like an absolute machine for days.
Be ridiculously productive.
Then suddenly I'd want to cancel everything, disappear somewhere, do something spontaneous or simply spend a day doing absolutely naff all.

And the guilt? INSANE.

Because surely successful adults are consistent?
Surely you get up Monday to Friday, work roughly the same hours, maintain roughly the same level of productivity and somehow just... keep doing that forever?

Apparently my brain did not receive that memo.

So I spent years trying to force myself into a working pattern that looked “normal.”

Until eventually my nervous system handed in its resignation.

Then came burnout.

And I don't mean:
“Ooh, I'm a bit tired. I need a weekend off.”

I mean deep, debilitating, almost career-ending burnout. The kind that can look and feel frighteningly like depression.

I couldn't productivity-hack my way out of it.

Something had to change.

Then came my diagnoses.

And suddenly something that had confused me for years made sense.

I wasn't failing at structure.
I had two competing neurological needs.

My autistic brain LOVES predictability, routine and knowing what the bloody plan is.

My ADHD brain occasionally looks at that beautifully organised plan and says:
“Absolutely not. Let's sod off and do something interesting.” 🤣

I'd spent years letting those two needs fight each other.

So I tried something that sounds ridiculous:

I scheduled spontaneity.

Yes. You heard me.

I PUT BEING SPONTANEOUS IN THE CHUFFIN DIARY. 😂

And it worked.

My working week now accommodates my brain.

Monday: I don't work. I need decompression time after the weekend and reset.

Tuesday & Wednesday: I work flat out. Appointments. Clients. Admin. Projects. Get s**t done.

Thursday: my wildcard day.

Thursday can be productive.
Thursday can become an adventure.
Thursday can involve a random idea that seemed reasonable at 8am.
Or Thursday can simply say:
“Nah. Can't be arsed today.”

And THAT is also allowed.

Friday: back to work. Full steam ahead.

It works because I know Saturday, Sunday and Monday are coming afterwards.

I've stopped trying to force consistency from a brain whose capacity isn't consistent.

Instead, I've created predictable flexibility.

Structure for the autistic part of me.
Freedom and novelty for the ADHD part.
Enough recovery for the whole bloody nervous system.

Now I know what you're thinking:

“That's alright for you, Gemma. You're self-employed.”

And you're absolutely right.

Not everybody has the luxury of redesigning their entire working week.

But that doesn't mean you can't look at the structure you DO have and ask:

“What could make this more sustainable for my brain?”

Could you request flexible working?
Change your start or finish times?
Work from home some of the time?
Group demanding tasks together?
Protect recovery time after intense days?
Reduce unnecessary meetings or sensory demands?
Ask for clearer written instructions or more predictable scheduling?
Speak to your employer about reasonable adjustments?

You might not be able to redesign your job.

But sometimes small changes can dramatically reduce the neurological energy you're spending trying to survive your working week.

And that's something I wish I'd understood much earlier.

Because I spent YEARS judging myself against people whose brains don't have the same competing needs as mine.

I thought I needed more discipline.
More organisation.
More consistency.

What I actually needed?

A working life designed around the brain I have.

My week probably wouldn't work for everybody.

It doesn't need to.

It works for me.

And after experiencing what happens when I repeatedly override my own limits...

I'll take slightly unconventional over completely burnt out any day. 💜

17/08/2026

💜

#1 THINGS I THOUGHT WERE PERSONALITY TRAITS BEFORE I REALISED I WAS AuDHD…

Apparently I don't actually love busy places. I love alcohol. 🤣

Okay, hear me out...

For YEARS I would happily go to concerts, packed bars, clubs, festivals, busy restaurants — all the places you're supposed to go when you're sociable and outgoing.

And I genuinely thought I loved them.

Except there was nearly always one important ingredient:

🍷 Alcohol.

Take the alcohol away?

Suddenly I'm stood there thinking:

Why the HECK is everyone so loud?

Why is that person touching me?

Why are there seventeen conversations happening simultaneously?

Why are the lights doing THAT?

Where am I supposed to stand?

What am I supposed to do with my hands?

How long are we staying?

And WHY CAN I HEAR THAT MAN CHEW FROM THREE TABLES AWAY?! 😭😂

Late-diagnosed me has realised something quite uncomfortable:

There are environments I thought I enjoyed where I may actually have been using alcohol to help myself tolerate them.

And that makes a hell of a lot more sense now.

Because alcohol can temporarily reduce inhibition and social self-monitoring and make us less aware of some of the discomfort we're experiencing.

For some neurodivergent people, that can make overwhelming social environments feel easier to tolerate.

Less analysing.

Less masking.

Less noticing every bloody thing.

More ability to just... be there.

Of course, alcohol isn't actually regulating the nervous system in a healthy way. It can also make things like sleep, mood, impulsivity and emotional regulation significantly worse afterwards.

But when you don't know you're neurodivergent?

You don't necessarily think:

"I'm experiencing sensory overload and using alcohol to help me tolerate this environment."

You think:

"I'm just more fun after a drink."

👀

And THAT is one of the fascinating parts of being diagnosed later in life.

You start looking back at things you thought were simply part of your personality and asking:

Did I actually enjoy that...

or did I develop a coping strategy that made it tolerable?

Saturday I went to a concert.

And yes, I had a drink. 😂

But something was different this time.

I understand my brain a hell of a lot better now.

If I needed to move away from the crowd, I did.

If I needed a bit of quiet, I found it.

If my social battery started dying, I didn't immediately assume there was something wrong with me.

And if I felt overwhelmed, I didn't force myself to pretend I was having THE BEST NIGHT EVER simply because everyone around me seemed to be.

Most importantly, I didn't need to drink myself past my own sensory limits just to make the environment tolerable.

And I still had a bloody brilliant time.

That's perhaps one of the biggest things diagnosis has changed for me.

I'm not necessarily changing who I am.

I'm not stopping doing things I love.

I'm not wrapping myself in cotton wool and avoiding anything remotely overstimulating.

I'm changing the conditions under which I expect myself to do them.

I'm noticing when I've had enough.

I'm accommodating myself rather than overriding myself.

I'm recognising sensory overload for what it is rather than automatically trying to numb it.

And I'm learning that I don't have to push myself past my limits just because everyone else appears perfectly comfortable.

Turns out I'm not antisocial.

I'm not boring.

And I haven't suddenly become an old woman who can't handle a night out. 🤣

My nervous system has probably always hated parts of this s**t.

I just spent years drowning out what it was trying to tell me.

Now?

I'm finally listening. 💜