28/02/2025
I’m here to tell you that my light was forged through a whole mess of hurt , betrayal, loneliness , not being picked , not feeling chosen , not being loved correctly by certain people (though there are some amazing people that have , and they know who they are ).
I’ve been forgotten , isolated , abandoned , even beaten and yet nobody saw my scars.
They were scars that could not be seen .
For a long time , behind my smiles , I was falling apart inside , screaming for help but the words never came out .
I’ve faced poverty, homelessness , abuse , r**e , even being suicidal and the struggles of doing it all alone.
Days where I’ve felt like I was stranded at sea , struggling to come up for air and yet there was no one to pull me out.
I’ve had emotional wounds that nobody should have to bare , scars both visible and invisible.
I’ve been lost, felt like my whole world had been torn all apart many times and felt like I could not live another day.
I’ve been in dark places that I don’t even like to think of , swam in them , got stuck in my despair so deeply that at many times I didn’t know I would be able to come back out .
You see , it’s from the dark depths of myself that my light was born .
It’s the times I refused to give up . Times I was strong in such broken places .
Times I refused to accept that nothing but struggle was my fate .
I knew that my soul was special and that there was a much bigger plan for me than what was laid out before me .
I learned to become the very light that I so desperately would seek.
Taken my scars, hurt , pain and forged them into solid gold.
I watched people around me let pain , broken trust and so much loss deeply change them and make them bitter.
I watched them become a mere morsel of the person that they once were and knew that the purity of my heart, the way I loved and saw the world was special and I knew that no matter what life threw at me , I had to protect it .
I had to make sure that I didn’t let it ever change my heart
Even in the moments that I felt the closest to giving up , something inside me told me not to quit . Like a whisper from the universe, there to remind me that I do not go out this way .. that I came to be more than just a victim.
So I took what was thrown at me and turned it into greatness . I turned it into power .
I’m not saying my life didn’t hurt, I’m not saying I wasn’t destroyed at times (Infact there were many ) . I’m saying that I took the hurt , I took the suffering , I took the abuse and used it to forge myself into something so much greater than I was before.
I used it to forge my light .
I spent many days walking through what felt a never ending darkness , a storm that would not end.
And used my light to guide my own way because I didn’t have anyone to do it for me , I had to be the biggest light to myself that I could be.
I have pulled myself out of many places. I have reached into the dark depths of my soul and healed my brokenness to come to realize that I was never truely broken. Because I had something inside of me that could never be touched . Something that could never be stolen , bruised or robbed.
The spark of divine light that I was .
So when I tell you , my light was forged in darkness , I mean it .
I decided that my demons and skeletons in my closet did not get to haunt me anymore .
That all the people that came at me and all the injustices that I faced did not get to win , and that is where I found my power .
It’s in the dark places , that I learned to shine the most.
And now, to get to use that light to help illuminate the hundreds of people I work with, the thousands that follow me.. Is the most beautiful thing in the world .
To literally look them in the eyes and whole heartedly say to them ‘I know your pain. It did not win and it does not get to win for you ‘ . Is such an amazing thing .
I literally became the person that I wished would come and save me . And in a way , I did … because I saved myself.
You would not believe the amount of work it has taken me to forge the person that you see before you today.
And there are still things that Im working on . But there is one thing I can tell you for absolute certain with every fibre of my being is that …
I will not give up .
Every set back I have used to propel me even further into my healing .
Life can be a bully , it can force you into corners that you feel like you cannot fight your way out of but I promise you , if you choose yourself even when nobody else does. And you dedicate yourself to your healing and don’t give up peeling back the layers of your hurt . Shedding away all the lies they told you , all the things that happened to you .. and find who you truely are underneath , you will become unstoppable.
Life does not get to define you ,
You get to define your life.
You have a power deep inside your soul that can withstand any storm, that is unshakable and if you use it to heal .. you will become someone that you never even imagined you could become.
And it’s not about never falling down , it’s about never giving up .
Letting yourself fall down over and over and over again , but never quitting. It’s about fighting for the life that you know you deserve .
Just because you’re broken , does not mean that you never get to be whole .
Just because your lost does not mean that you never get to be found .
Just because you’re stuck in the dark and cannot get back up , does not mean you cannot pull yourself out .
You see .. It’s from the broken pieces that you will find your light.
