Bodywisdom

22/10/2024

"I’ve got a job and 2 young kids; I'm in survival mode."

I felt really sad when this young mum shared this... as though this was 'simply the way it is' as a working mum of two.

If this feels like your daily reality, please know that you’re not alone.

But it doesn’t have to be ‘survival’.

Yes, parenting is busy. Yes, it's demanding, and sometimes you feel stretched in every direction. But if you’re constantly in a state of survival, there’s a reason for it - and it's not just about the endless to-do lists, your job and the kids.

Children, especially babies and young kids, co-regulate with their parents. This means they take their emotional cues from you, learning how to feel safe and navigate the world by sensing your state of being. When you're in survival mode, they pick up on that energy and will act (or ‘act out’) accordingly. But when you find calm and balance, they feel that too.

✨ What is 'survival' mode?

Often, it's not just the external busyness but what's happening in your nervous system.
“Survival mode” is a Nervous System response of fight, flight and/ or freeze. It's when your system is stuck in a state of stress - and this impacts everything—from your energy levels to how you respond emotionally.

✨ How do we break the cycle?

When we’re trauma-informed, we understand how our bodies hold onto stress and how to release it, so we can show up in our parenting from a place of presence, rather than constant reactivity.

✨ Start HERE
Start with compassion for yourself. Survival mode doesn’t mean you’re failing—it means you need support.

Explore how trauma-informed parenting can help you shift from just surviving to thriving.

Parenting is meant to be a journey of connection, not exhaustion.
If you would like to find out more about my parenting workshop this coming Thursday 24 October in Copenhagen (90 minutes to educate and empower you as a parent and a human being with a Nervous System), comment 'PARENT' below & I'll be in touch.

17/10/2024

TRAUMA -

Is something we are beginning to talk about but it's still very much a taboo topic which is why it's so very important to talk about it openly and learn what it IS (and what it isn't)

I was told recently that a corporate company wouldn't want to offer 'trauma-informed' leadership or teams training because "nobody would go" because if they did "people would think there was something wrong with you". I would need to talk about stress - because that's something people would understand and somehow, you're 'allowed' to talk about stress. And the caveat here was that we could talk about it but that if someone had taken time off because of stress, they would likely be passed over for promotion because they'd shown they couldn't handle the pressure.

So yes - we need to talk about stress. But more than that we need to talk about TRAUMA.
Because, as Dr Maté says, trauma isn't about what happened - it's about what is happening inside of you NOW.

Trauma doesn't show up as memories or as an idea. Trauma wasn't the event itself, but the consequences of the event and how those consequences either did, or didn't get resolved.

UNRESOLVED is a really important part of this equation.
Bessel van der Kolk wrote about it a decade ago in his now famous book "The Body Keeps the Score". The subtitle of the book is 'the brain, mind and body in the healing of trauma' and the impact of trauma shows up in reactions, symptoms and behaviours now.

Anxiety
Chronic Pain
Fibromyalgia
Depression
Overwhelm
Burnout
Panic Attacks
Gut issues
Insomnia
Reactivity

These are just some of the ways in which trauma - unresolved physical and emotional stress - shows up in our lives.

And yes, sometimes this IS as the consequence of a terrible childhood, of abuse or r**e or natural disaster or war.

And sometimes, it's the hundreds of ways in which you weren't supported, didn't have a voice, were left alone or only loved and approved of when you excelled. It's the result of divorce, or death or being isolated or misunderstood. It's the result of complicated grief or feeling you had to be good or quiet to stay safe or feel wanted.

Trauma shows up in the Nervous System as a fight-flight (or freeze) response that is stuck 'on' - irritability, people pleasing, procrastination, suppressed rage, always busy and doing, apathetic and listless...

So please, today, TALK ABOUT TRAUMA. Talk about how you're feeling with those around you. Ask a colleague how they're doing. Notice whether you or someone you love shows any of these signs.
I encourage you to get curious, read a book like van der Kolks, or Dr Maté's, listen to podcasts (I'll post one below) and let's get trauma-informed.

Because being informed means we can heal - when we tend to the parts of us that got stuck (stuck - not broken), we gain access to our whole authentic self and a world of joy. ❤

09/10/2024

Tomorrow - THURSDAY 10th - is World Mental Health Day - to celebrate being well and feeling good. I'll be here - LIVE! for 15mins of gorgeous, awkward, longed-for, reluctant, grateful, relieved, emotional, connected, self-conscious, surrendered - mindful movement. Come As You Are. Let's get curious together.

05/10/2024

MY WEBSITE IS STILL OFFLINE NicolaBraybrookesmith.com….
Currently being transferred to new platform.

If you want to find out more about Somatic Trauma Resolution (S.E) or Process Bodywork (Zero Balancing & Visceral bodywork & Holistic Pulsing)

You can message me/ call me +351 965033069// + 44 7930 442639

I am available for online sessions worldwide & in-person session in Tábua,
Coimbra and Stamford, Lincs.

29/08/2024

This is a public service mental health announcement - if you're reading this, it's for YOU.💚Because we all have a body and a Nervous System and we're living in times of huge challenges to our mental, physical and emotional wellbeing!

I am extremely proud and very excited to let you know that I'm now officially a coach and brand partner with The Mental Wellbeing Company and the incredible Caroline Strawson and team.

I've been supporting people with their mental and physical health for the past 25 years as a wellbeing mentor, coach, body therapist & teacher, yoga teacher and most recently as a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner.

My own journey towards regulation and understanding the body-mind connection began in Thailand in my late 20s when I was suffering from burnout after a ending in a job that had drained the life from me and a relationship in which I no longer recognised myself. It all started with learning yoga, meditation and Thai massage in a remote hilltribe village with my first teachers Ralf Marzen and Asokananda.

Those of you who know me better already know my passion for holistic health, the mind-body connection, nervous system regulation and embodiment and how all these elements come together to create more ease, confidence and freedom in our lives - whatever we do in the world.

I now have a new ICF (International Coaching Federation - the gold standard in coaching🏅) certification in Somatic Trauma Informed Coaching & Leadership which allows me to take what I've learned and can teach into businesses, education & health spaces so I can reach even more people with these life-changing practices and education.

My 1:1 clients often say to me that this stuff should be taught in schools! Well now it is 😀… and in your large or small business, from shop-floor to C-Suite.

If you want to create an environment in which your team, your children and your teachers and leaders all thrive together, please - get in touch for a brochure or a conversation and we can talk about what I can bring to your life, your school or organisation.

Watch this space for more information coming soon - first in the pipeline are dates for my first Trauma-Informed Parenting workshop in Copenhagen. Thanks so much for your ongoing support all, it means the world to me as we go about changing an everchanging world for the better, together🌍.

21/06/2024

Is trauma influencing your relationships without you realising?

Why do some interactions feel SO much more challenging than others?

And why are you getting triggered by 'that person's' behaviour ALL.THE.TIME?

Trauma doesn't just affect our minds and bodies...it also weaves its way into both professional and personal relationships. It makes sense - trauma often occurs in relationship, when we were hurt or neglected as children. Even if you had the most loving parents, you learned to adapt to avoid certain consequences or to stay in connection - to receive love, approval and acceptance.

When these adaptations are still showing up in our lives decades later, and we add in additional stressors and more complicated relational dynamics, we may find we become more reactive to apparently ‘small’ events.

If you're noticing patterns in your relationships that you want to change, it might be time to explore how your past experiences are showing up in the present.

Do you find that you -

😭are often bursting into tears for ‘no reason’?
🤬feel ‘unreasonably’ angry at a colleague or partner’s behaviour?
😟feel judged, disrespected or unseen on a regular basis?
😔don’t seem to ‘belong’ or feel at home in social or professional settings?
😶‍🌫️feel like an imposter in your position at work?
🤯have big mood swings for reasons you don’t understand?

Find out how Somatic therapy can help you to heal the patterns of the past that are showing up in your relationships today - leave me a 'yes please' below or send me a dm and I'll get in touch to arrange a free clarity call.



pic by Frida Lannerström

19/06/2024

I am preparing for my INAUGURAL LIVE ONlLINE MOVEMENT SESSION... it's not a class In that, I have nothing to 'teach' you..

I'm more interested in creating a space for exploration and inquiry. What happens when we do this? or when we put our attention here?

How can movement, stillness and awareness support us - to feel more comfortable and therefore more present moment to moment. For 60mins to just BE HERE.

I am calling it I AM HERE. It will happen on WEDNESDAY evenings today at 18.30 - in future at 18.00. Once a month. Zoom recording given for those who can't make it live.

This month's theme is ORIENTATION through the senses.. ears and eyes and touch and how this can bring us back to our sense of centre-ground. It's last minute... if you want to join. Messanger me or Whatsapp me.

Booking info in the comments.

16/05/2024

A little reminder for you to bookmark and keep.

Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS) identifies 4 possible 'core' wounds that can be triggered by situations, events or the behaviour of others.

Do you recognise your core wound here?

- I'm not lovable
- I'm not enough
- I'm not important (I don't matter)
- I'm not worthy

Chances are, whatever the wound is, it stems from childhood and you began to adapt your behaviour and your needs in order to protect this part of you.

So next time you feel triggered by something, or someone, notice WHAT it is, deep inside you, that's being triggered and tend to that part of you as best you can.

Perhaps it needs a hug, or some kind words, or just a little pause... maybe you can do something as simple as repeat one of the affirmations below. Just as you would say it to a child.

Because it's TRUE. And whatever happened to you, it's ALWAYS BEEN TRUE. ❤

You're lovable, you're enough, you're worthy and you matter.

18/04/2024

"My disorder was not a disease or an enemy to be fought, but it was real. It was the part of me who always knew I was worth protecting."

There are no 'bad' parts of us - only parts that were wounded and needed protecting. Part of our healing is recognising that we're not broken, we don't have a life sentence and that with the right understand, connection and support, the trauma of what happened in the past can be healed.

If you're curious about a somatic approach to resolving the ways in which the past keeps showing up in your life, you're welcome to comment CONTACT below or drop me a dm & we can have a chat.

When I sought help for crippling invasive thoughts, I was told I had a disease like any other. But I wasn’t able to recover until I understood the fallacy at the heart of mental healthcare

10/04/2024

My latest blog is called Defining Trauma - How Trauma Overwhelms our Capacity to Cope.

I often think of Stevie Smith's poem, Not Waving But Drowning when I think of trauma, which is why I chose this photo for the blog.

Nobody heard him, the dead man,
But still he lay moaning:
I was much further out than you thought
And not waving but drowning.

Poor chap, he always loved larking
And now he’s dead
It must have been too cold for him his heart gave way,
They said.

Oh, no no no, it was too cold always
(Still the dead one lay moaning)
I was much too far out all my life
And not waving but drowning.

I wonder if you're familiar with some of the lesser causes of trauma? Perhaps you've never considered the signs and symptoms in your own life or those around you... when we understand both what trauma is, and what is isn't and why it happens, we gain a much greater understanding, and perhaps empathy for, our own experiences and those of the people around us.

I'd love to know your thoughts... do let me have your feedback below.

Unrecognised and unsupported trauma gives rise to symptoms and chronic conditions as the body starts to show what the mind hasn't understood