Best of You Consultancy

13/08/2026

To all my A-Level clients getting their results today,

Whatever is written on that piece of paper, please remember that it is information about one moment in your life. It is not a verdict on your future.

Some of you will be celebrating today, and I hope you allow yourself to feel incredibly proud.

Some of you might be disappointed, confused, relieved, numb, or wondering what happens next. That’s okay too.

A-Level results measure how you performed in a particular system, under particular circumstances, at a particular point in your life. They cannot measure your creativity, kindness, humour, determination, emotional intelligence, practical ability, curiosity or the person you are still becoming.

And if you are neurodivergent, you may have reached today having worked enormously hard simply to navigate an educational system that doesn’t always allow you to show what you know in the way you know it.

So celebrate the grades that went brilliantly.

And for the ones that didn’t?

They are a change of route, not the end of the road.

There are clearing places, different courses, different pathways, apprenticeships, work, gap years, resits and opportunities you don’t even know exist yet.

You don’t have to have your whole life worked out today.

Take today one step at a time. Be gentle with yourself. And whatever those results say, please remember:

You are still you. Your potential hasn’t changed since yesterday.

12/08/2026

29/07/2026

Has Screen Time Created a Generation of ‘Pseudo ADHD’?

Before you read any further, let’s be absolutely clear.

Screens don’t cause ADHD.
ADHD is a neurodevelopmental condition. It begins early in brain development, even if it isn’t recognised until much later in life. No amount of scrolling, gaming or screen use can create ADHD in someone who wasn’t already neurodevelopmentally wired that way.

So why are so many people saying, “I think I’ve got ADHD” after years of living through a screen?

Because sometimes the behaviour looks the same, but the story behind it is completely different.

Our brains are remarkably adaptable.

Modern digital life constantly asks our attention to switch. Notifications interrupt us. Social media rewards us with endless novelty. Videos become shorter, faster and more stimulating. Every swipe promises something new.

Over time, the brain can begin to expect this level of stimulation.

Suddenly, reading a book feels difficult. Sitting through a meeting feels exhausting. Everyday tasks feel painfully slow. Concentration becomes harder. Restlessness increases. Memory feels less reliable. We reach for our phones without even realising we’ve done it.

These are genuine attention difficulties.

But they are not necessarily ADHD.

The same destination… different journey.

Someone with ADHD has a brain that has developed differently from childhood. Their difficulties with attention, executive functioning and self-regulation have been present throughout life, even if they were misunderstood or masked.

Someone experiencing screen-induced attention difficulties may display many of the same behaviours, but through a different pathway. Their brain hasn’t become ADHD; it has adapted to an environment of constant stimulation and rapid reward.

The symptoms may overlap.

The cause doesn’t, and that’s an incredibly important distinction.

Why it matters

If we assume every attention problem is ADHD, we risk missing the real cause.
Equally, if we assume everyone just needs to “put their phone down”, we risk dismissing those whose ADHD has been present since childhood.

Both deserve understanding.
Both deserve appropriate support.

But they may need very different interventions.

For those who already have ADHD

This conversation becomes even more nuanced.
Many people with ADHD are naturally drawn to screens because digital environments provide the stimulation their brains are seeking. Fast feedback, novelty and constant engagement can temporarily make focus feel easier.

Yet the very thing that helps in the moment can sometimes make life harder later. Poor sleep, reduced recovery time, constant stimulation and fewer opportunities for boredom or reflection can amplify existing challenges.

Screens haven’t created the ADHD.

They may simply magnify what is already there.

Looking beyond the symptoms

This is why a good assessment never stops at a checklist.

It asks:
* When did these difficulties begin?
* Were they present in childhood?
* Do they occur across different environments?
* Have they appeared gradually alongside changes in lifestyle and technology?
Because diagnosis isn’t about recognising behaviours.

It’s about understanding the story behind them.

The behaviour may look the same.
The journey that led there may be completely different.
And understanding that journey is where meaningful support begins

22/07/2026

Emotions rarely arrive one at a time.

They collect quietly. A disappointment here. A worry there. A frustration you brushed aside. A sadness you never had time to feel.

Imagine each emotion as a different coloured crayon.

On their own, each colour is easy to recognise. You know what you’re holding.

But if they are all dropped into a melting pot, they lose their individual colours. The red, blue, yellow and green slowly become one indistinguishable pool of brown wax.

Our emotions can be like that.

When we don’t have the opportunity to notice, name or process them, they can merge into a single feeling of overwhelm. We no longer know whether we’re angry, anxious, grieving, exhausted or disappointed. We just know that everything suddenly feels too much.

Sometimes the first step isn’t fixing the overwhelm.

It’s gently helping the colours separate again, so each emotion can be seen for what it really is.

For many neurodivergent people, recognising emotions in the moment isn’t always straightforward. Attention can be focused on solving problems, masking, meeting expectations or simply getting through the day, leaving little opportunity to notice what is happening internally. Instead of experiencing emotions as separate feelings, they can quietly accumulate beneath awareness. By the time they reach consciousness, they may no longer feel like disappointment, frustration, sadness or anxiety. They have melted together into one indistinct sense of overwhelm.

This isn’t a lack of emotional depth. It’s often a difference in how emotions are noticed, processed and brought into awareness. Learning to pause, reflect and gently separate those “colours” again can make overwhelm feel more understandable and manageable.

21/07/2026

https://bestofyouconsultancy.co.uk/my-books/f/emotional-hydraulics

Understanding Psychological Draining and Replenishing

18/07/2026

Perhaps one of the greatest challenges for some neurodivergent people is not the intensity of emotion, but its timing.

An emotion may be felt by the nervous system long before it is recognised by the conscious mind. Sometimes it arrives hours later. Sometimes days. Sometimes years. And sometimes it takes a familiar song, a scent, a photograph or a handwritten letter to unlock what was always there.

If this theory proves to have merit, perhaps we need to rethink what we mean by “emotional regulation”. Before we can regulate an emotion, we first have to know it exists.

Perhaps the first step is not regulation.

Perhaps it is recognition.

isn’t feeling too much, but feeling it too late.

11/07/2026

05/07/2026

Schools often focus on academic access for SEND learners, but psychological safety is what makes learning possible in the first place. When a child feels safe, understood, and accepted, they are far more likely to engage...

26/06/2026

Find out about different chat apps like WhatsApp and Kik, and how to help young people use them safely.

25/06/2026

We check our children’s seatbelts. We also need to check their phones.

Most parents wouldn’t think twice about checking where their child is to make sure they are physically safe.

Yet many feel uncomfortable checking if their child is digitally safe.

Sometimes parents feel like they shouldn’t pry and should allow a child some privacy.

However

A child having access to a phone doesn’t automatically mean they are developmentally ready to manage everything that comes with it.

Often children get phones around the age of 10. That isn’t old enough to have the necessary wherewithal to keep themselves safe.

Online harm rarely begins with obvious danger.

Sometimes it begins with attention, validation, apparent friendship, or somebody simply making a child feel seen. Sometimes it’s trending apps, something might start off feeling like it’s funny, but quickly become something unmanageable.

Digital freedom should never arrive without digital supervision.

Checking a child’s phone isn’t about distrust.

it’s about protection.

Normalise saying this to Children when they get a phone, as a condition of owning it:

“Your phone is not going to be private from me.”

“Expect that I will be checking your phone whenever I feel I need to.”

“It’s me who is responsible for your safety, online and offline.”

Trust is built through openness, not secrecy.

Do not allow a pin or passcode. Have that phone open, or they don’t have the phone.

Parents monitor bedrooms.
Parents monitor friendships.
Parents monitor safety.

The digital world should be no different. This might sound extreme but the alternatives are much more extreme.