18/02/2022
Want to know what a lot of single, incredible women secretly stress about when they first start dating again?
āWhat if Iām not good-looking enoughā ?
There is some truth in this worry.
Men are attracted by looks FIRST.
Letās dive into Evolutionary Psychology:
Millions of years of Evolution have created a preference in men to be attracted to physical looks first because this is the best indicator of high gene quality.
Symmetrical Features = Beauty = High Gene Quality = Healthy strong children = Survival of the fittest
So its not their fault, they are drawn to this.
So much of our dating and mating behaviour is still driven by Evolution, which is very slow to change.
Although things have changed pretty significantly in the last couple of hundred years for humans this is like the blink of an eye in Evolutionās timeline.
The issue around a manās preference for LOOKS is that most women read too much into this at the beginning.
She confuses his attention and attraction with an intention to pursue a relationship instead of relaxing and letting things unfold.
In the start he is just acting on his physical attraction.
Sort of winging it, even though he knows in the back of his mind he wants to meet a Great Woman.
Itās how you respond to him at this stage that really awakens his Healthy Masculine (or not).
I want to bring in my client here, lets call him James, who told me recently that his first criteria for a woman he goes on a date with is āwhether I want to sleep with herā. If the answer is yes, he goes on a second date.
Attraction rates very highly in the early stages of discernment for James.
Thereās no judgement here, but Iām telling you it really pays in your favour to go slow.
To awaken the desire for a Man to claim you as his Woman this requires him to be attracted to you at other levels (eg. the Emotional level and the Mental level) not just the Physical level.
Itās very tempting in our modern internet dating world (and with the buffet of single people to meet!) to consume whatās on offer at a rapid rate.
Going fast in the beginning with physical intimacy is not going to build these other layers of attraction.
Although he enjoys himself, he often just doesnāt feel the connection, especially when you press him and ask āwhere things are going?ā and many relationships at 0-3 month stage will die out.
Donāt say I didnāt tell you ššš
If you want to break your pattern of falling for unavailable men or short relationships that fizzle out, AND you really want a life partner send me a DM.
I only work with women who are committed to doing the deeper inner work so only get in contact if this is you. š
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