13/08/2026
I have a list of priorities when it comes to working with people and their horses.
1) Human safety – mine, the handlers and anyone stood around
2) The horse’s safety
3) How the horse feels about it.
Social media has made it so that people cannot show the realities that are sometimes involved in working with horses, lest the keyboard trainers descend and rip apart any chance of a logical conversation.
Short videos and attention spans only allow for the perfect 20 seconds of harmony. Not the years of ugly moments involved in getting there.
When I first meet a horse, I can honestly say in 99% of cases, the first thing I need to address is personal space. To me, it is the single most effective thing in training horses. It is not just a manners exercise. The horse learns from the get go that pressure has meaning and that the answer is to yield to it rather than brace against it.
The boundaries need to be black and white and most importantly CONSISTENT. Don’t push through me, don’t overtake me, maintain your position in relation to me. If the boundary is crossed, it is corrected, then and there. Every time. When they are in the right place, there is peace.
That clarity actually reduces conflict. The horse understanding the boundary actually makes them lighter and softer, because they STOP pushing on you and you STOP pushing on them. Your hand, your body and your space become meaningful aids. The horse, yields, bends around you and maintains awareness of you, which really does transfer into the ridden work. He already understands the fundamental concept behind an aid, yield to it, don’t push against it.
Connection and relaxation are developed from understanding. Horses are rarely stressed about something they understand and knowing exactly what is expected of them helps keep them relaxed, responsive and attentive.
Every good relationship has boundaries that are understood by both parties. Firmness and softness are not opposites.