Plain Sailing Therapies

19/06/2026

18/06/2026

This cycle can be so easily undone.

Once we can establish the source of our beliefs, usually buried deep in our subconscious, we can change the thinking and feeling behind those processes.

When we can THINK differently, we FEEL different, and the biggest change then comes in what we feel we can DO.

I can speak from experience as to just how life-changing

17/06/2026

It feels so good to be praised, to have our feelings affirmed, to be told that we have done a good job, and to be appreciated.

Some of us seek external validation to an unhealthy level, because relying on others to make us feel good means that we doubt our own ability to achieve that. We question our worth if others don't value us.

This can cause anxiety and depression. A lack of self-confidence may cause us to make more mistakes, or have trouble concentrating. Disapproval and criticism are especially painful because we place so much importance on other people's opinions.

Learning to validate ourselves means that we know our worth, understand and trust our own thoughts, feelings and judgements

External validation should be in addition to self-validation, not in place of it.

Learning to self-validate takes practice. My guided Self-Awareness journal (link in bio) takes you through this process methodically, releasing sub-conscious thoughts, and allowing acceptance of feelings and needs without judgment. The purpose of this type of journaling is to clarify our thoughts, feelings and behaviours, and identify specific areas that may need more specialist input.

16/06/2026

It is entirely possible to free ourselves from limiting self-beliefs which prevent us from achieving the things in life that we truly desire.

This does require an in depth understanding of the default states of mind that we resort to, why we create the narratives that we do, and then to change these at a sub conscious level.

I use a combination of therapies specific to your needs, which will:

- Reduce your "mind chatter" so as to give you greater clarity of thought
- Allow you to access your intuition more effectively
- Enable you to visualise the life that you wish to create
- Prevent the development of destructive coping mechanisms and thought processes
- Create the ability to reframe your thinking so that your can recognise harmful triggers, and learn to respond, rather than react to situations or feelings.

I offer a free 30 minute consultation to discuss your needs, and allow you to explore whether we could be a good fit for this process.

15/06/2026

11/06/2026

Scapegoating within a family is a destructive dynamic where one member is unfairly blamed for the family's problems. This person becomes the target of misplaced anger and criticism, which can lead to feelings of isolation.

Understanding the root of this behaviour is a crucial first step towards healing.

This role can be assigned due to various reasons, including family dynamics, personality clashes, or even deep-seated issues within the family system. Recognising that you are not at fault and understanding the dynamics at play is the first step towards healing.

Acknowledging the pattern of scapegoating is crucial. Reflect on past incidents where you were blamed and see if there’s a consistent pattern of you being the target. Understanding this can help you detach from the blame and see the larger picture.

Seeking specialist professional help is vital in rebuilding your sense of self. I personally recommend a therapist trained in Belief Coding® (which I am currently completing) and have found this modality truly transformational in many circumstances.

09/06/2026

In many families, the scapegoat is typically singled out as the cause of conflicts and issues, regardless of their actual involvement. This person often absorbs the collective stress and negative emotions of the family members, acting as a convenient outlet for their frustrations. The scapegoat is different from other family roles, such as the "golden child" or "peacemaker," in that they bear the brunt of blame and are frequently subjected to harsh treatment

The emotional impact of being the scapegoat can be severe and multifaceted:

· Low Self-Esteem: Constant criticism and blame can erode self-confidence, leading to feelings of worthlessness and inadequacy.

· Depression: The relentless negativity and lack of support can contribute to depression, characterised by persistent sadness and hopelessness.

· Anxiety: The fear of being blamed or criticised can result in heightened anxiety, making it difficult to relax or feel secure.

· Isolation: Scapegoats often feel isolated from their family members, as they are ostracized and treated as outsiders.

· Anger and Resentment: The unfair treatment can lead to feelings of anger and resentment, both towards the family and oneself.

The psychological impact of being scapegoated can also be significant:

· Internalized Blame: Over time, scapegoats may internalize the blame, believing that they are indeed the root cause of family problems.

· Identity Struggles: The role of scapegoat can affect one's sense of identity, leading to confusion about one's worth and place within the family.

As a therapist, I provide the tools and techniques to explore and heal from the emotional and psychological wounds inflicted by the scapegoating. It’s been wonderful to see the transformations that my clients have made.

05/06/2026