14/02/2023
The air is chilly, and February 14th is coming quickly it’s Valentine’s Day!! To many, this means making dinner reservations, getting chocolates, flowers, or planning to spend time with their significant other. To others, it is a day that reminds them of their singleness. Given our personal attachment styles and our individual partners, Valentine’s Day means different things to different people. Often the way we process the concepts of attachment affects how we behave in relationships.
Attachment is a strong bond that develops that makes us feel connected and provides us a sense of belonging. Attachment is also required for a healthy, whole heart, and happy life. One of my favorite authors, Brené Brown espouses that “we are hardwired for connection.” Healthy strong relationships can make us stronger, and more physically and emotionally healthy; whereas bad relationships can make us suffer physically and emotionally.
There are several different attachment styles, which shape our interactions with the people closest with us. In the book Attached, the authors discuss the different attachment styles.
Anxious, some of the symptoms of this attachment style are worrying about our partner loving us, worrying about abandonment, and feeling the need to be around our partner all the time.
Avoidant, in this attachment style, some of us may wonder why we have a hard time finding “the one” or having long-term relationships. Often individuals struggle with sharing their feelings and vulnerabilities and tend to find things to distance themselves from emotional intimacy.
Anxious/Avoidant, this attachment bond is a combination of Anxious and Avoidant. Some of the symptoms are craving love and affection, but simultaneous pushing significant others away.
Secure, the ideal attachment style. It is the balance between having emotional intimacy and connection, but also not worrying too much. Instead of being co-dependent or independent, these people are able to be interdependent in a healthy way.
This Valentine’s, if you notice yourself engaging in any of these attachment styles and are curious about exploring how these patterns were created get in touch today.
