Katie Costello - End of Life Support Services

28/08/2026

I shared this 4 years ago and was going through a lot at the time ❤️

Someone dies and you haven’t told them what you wanted or needed to tell them. There are things left unsaid and questions unanswered. You did not hear from them what you wanted to hear.

You lose a job with no explanation, you don’t understand why you didn’t get that promotion as no one has told you.

A relationship ends unexpectedly with no obvious reason and no conversation. They don’t give you the respect you deserve and won’t talk about it.

Friends don’t call you back and ‘ghost’ you and you have no idea why.

All of these things can trigger a grief response, you grieve the relationship/opportunity/life you had, and all of these things mean no ‘closure’. No chance to find out why, not able to speak to the people involved to gain perspective, understanding. Having to move forward with nothing to go on.

I have no real wisdom, I just needed to recognise this is a very real situation for many and have experienced this myself lately.

I became a mess, I went into my head and focused on a million questions, replayed scenarios and made up stories I hoped to be true. I went round in circles, up and down in emotions and wavered hourly in strength and perspective. It’s ok, nothing I can do, just got to keep on. Next, sobbing at the unfairness, broken hearted at the reality, angry and sad. Calm, turns to desperation, turns to relief, to despair. It can feel like torture💔

The only thing we can do is ride out the pain of not knowing. You’re not alone. It will be messy, it will be hard. At some point we need to be ok with the not knowing so we can only focus on things we CAN control. There is no quick fix for this feeling, it’s often not fair, not right and unjust and that is SO hard to let go of.

But we also need to try to let go of the idea of needing any closure at all. We won’t ever get it.

How much energy do we keep giving to that which we can’t control and can not change? Our energy is best spent on healing our broken hearts and nurturing our unmet needs

Sending love to all those who have no ‘closure’, if that is even a thing anyway?

Your feelings

27/08/2026

We all have that one friend, or you know it’s you 😂😂😂

26/08/2026

Most of us will be with someone who is dying at some point in our lives.

Very few of us are ever taught what that actually looks like.

We learn how to prepare for birth. We learn first aid. We talk about how to care for people when they’re ill.

But when somebody is dying? So often, we arrive there completely unprepared.

You might have already sat beside someone who was dying and afterwards wondered, Why did that happen? Was that normal? Did they know I was there? Why did they stop eating? Why did their breathing change?

Or perhaps you know that one day you may be the person walking alongside somebody you love, and you simply want to understand what is happening rather than being frightened by it.

That is what Dying for a Cuppa® – The Masterclass is about.

Not just professional knowledge but a human understanding.

A full day understanding death and dying from a human perspective. What happens, why it happens, what somebody may experience and how we can support another person through it.

You’ll also receive an indepth 36-page Masterclass workbook, resources to take away, a certificate and digital badge, and a full day of honest conversation, learning, and connection.

You do not need to work in healthcare or end-of-life care to come.

You can come because you’re a daughter, a son, a partner, a friend, a carer or simply a human being who wants to understand something that will, eventually, touch every one of us.

The remaining in-person 2026 dates in Horsham are now nearly full:

25th September (inperson)
7th October (online)
6th November (inperson)

Dates for 2027 will be released very soon ☕️❤️

25/08/2026

I absolutely LOVE this feedback. Because this is so often the reality when I’m invited to talk about death and dying. People aren’t quite sure what to expect. Will it be depressing? Will it be upsetting? Will anyone actually want to come?!

The other evening I was invited to speak to a brilliant women’s community group and even the organisers weren’t sure how many people would turn up.

Around 30 people filled the room.

And afterwards, the overwhelming feeling was “I’m so glad I came.”

People said to me afterwards the evening was interesting, informative, reassuring and thought-provoking.

And this is the thing about talking about death and dying. We worry that opening these conversations will make things heavier but more often than not, it does the opposite.

There can be laughter. Stories. Curiosity. Questions people have wanted to ask for years. Reassurance about things they’ve experienced. And sometimes a real sense of relief that somebody has finally just talked about it openly.

These conversations can be uplifting, inspiring, empowering and incredibly human, far more than you might imagine.

So if you’re part of a community group, charity, workplace, organisation or simply a group of humans who would benefit from having one of these conversations, please get in touch.

I promise, it probably won’t be the evening you’re expecting. It will be so much more ☕️❤️

24/08/2026

New episode out today 🤩🎙️☕️

In this episode of Dying for a Cuppa® The Podcast, I’m joined by Felicity Warner, founder of Soul Midwives and Principal of the Soul Midwives School and someone who has played a huge part in my own journey and the work I do today.

Our diaries have never quite aligned, until now, and I’m so grateful they finally did! We only had a short amount of time together, but we certainly made the most of it. Felicity shares some of her own journey, how Soul Midwifery came to be, and the experiences that shaped her approach to supporting people at the end of life. We also talk about the world of death and dying more broadly, and share our thoughts on what truly human, compassionate end-of-life care can look and feel like.

For anyone curious about Soul Midwifery, whether you’re considering training, already working in this space, or simply want to understand more about this beautiful approach to end-of-life care, this episode is absolutely one for you.

There was so much more we could have talked about so I’m sure this won’t be the last conversation. Felicity will hopefully be back for Part Two!

For now, grab a cuppa and join us 🎙️❤️

https://open.spotify.com/episode/7418PExSoQsDW6Efu7GVfv?si=UnzM9PfnTbO8WzSNcD1wpg&utm_source=copy-link

Felicity Warner Felicity Warner- Soul Midwife

21/08/2026

Today’s musings about direct cremations and how dismissive the advertising is. There is SO much to say on this but I’ve kept it to the point to hopefully make you think. We need to understand the impact on the language and the suggestions it creates of a hierarchy of grief. I know this might land heavy, but as always, it is done with so much love ❤️

20/08/2026

Why should you choose me as your celebrant? 🤔

Because it feels right.

Honestly, that’s it. It’s that simple.

When you’re choosing a celebrant, funeral director, or anyone who is going to support you and walk alongside you after someone has died, of course qualifications matter. Experience matters. Knowledge, training and expertise all matter.

But there’s something else that matters just as much.

How that person makes you feel.

Do you feel safe with them? Do you feel heard and seen? Do they feel familiar somehow? Can you talk to them? Do they listen, really listen?

Because the right person shouldn’t step in and tell you what you should do. They should walk alongside you, answer your questions, help you understand your choices and give you the confidence and space to work out what feels right for you and your person.

And when it comes to choosing someone to stand at the front of that room and tell the story of somebody you love, I think you need to FEEL that they get it. That they get you. And, somehow, that they get your person who died too.

There are some bloody brilliant celebrants out there, and we all bring something different. So have a look around. Read the words people write. Look at testimonials. Have conversations. Check out their socials to get a feel for who they are.

But most of all, go with your gut.

Choose the person who makes you think, Yep. You feel like our kind of person.

And if that person happens to be me, then that’s amazing ❤️

19/08/2026

This is who we are 🙏🏼❤️

18/08/2026

Great event and opportunity for my fellow funeral professionals with 2 of my favourite organisations Dandelion Farewells and Heart in their Hand Project with Judith Dandy and Cathy Milburn 🙏🏼

Here are details of a very special event we are co-hosting with the wonderful team from Heart in their Hand Project, on behalf of British Institute of Funeral Directors.
This is a unique opportunity to visit the hub of such a special company; understand the founding intentions; and deepen awareness of continuing bonds through such beautiful keepsakes.
Please share with local and professional networks. All welcome.
RSVP [email protected]

Providing these keepsakes to Chestnut Tree House and having them available for families we support, we value the significance of these personal gestures and precious items.

18/08/2026

Have you ever had to plan a funeral and realised you had absolutely no idea what the person would have wanted?

What music?
Burial or cremation?
What would they want people to know?
What would actually FEEL like them?
What stories do we share?

Or perhaps someone you love has been seriously ill and you’ve known there are things you probably need to talk about…

But how do you start that conversation?
What if you upset them?
What if they don’t want to talk?
What if you ask the ‘wrong thing’?

And so often, we say nothing.

Not because we don’t care.

Because nobody has ever taught us how to talk about this stuff.

That’s exactly why I created ‘A Gift’

A book designed to help us human have some of the conversations we so often avoid and capture the things that will one day become incredibly important.

It isn’t about planning every tiny detail of your death. It’s about opening conversations. Asking questions. Sharing stories. Writing down wishes.

Finding out the things we think we’ll always have time to ask.

And perhaps most importantly, making things just a little bit easier for the people we love who are left behind.

Someone said something to me recently that completely summed up why I wrote it.

They told me they’d only managed to work through a handful of the things in the book with their person.

But those handful of things had become priceless.

And that’s it.

You don’t have to complete every page. You don’t need to have every answer. You just need somewhere to start.

Because one conversation about a favourite song, a funeral wish, a memory, a person who matters, a joke, or something you never knew can become a gift you don’t fully understand the value of until you need it.

That’s why it’s called A Gift 🙏🏼

My book is available now on Amazon https://amzn.eu/d/01SSVq84