Hadleigh Hypnotherapy & Counselling

20/03/2026

The idea of existential anxiety has been crossing my radar very frequently recently. It is something that generally affects all of us at some point in our lives, but, because of the nature of its experience, it is often ignored, suppressed and denied.
It’s characterised by an almost-paralysing state of discomfort and fear, usually around issues such as death, ageing, guilt, freedom, failure and a loss of meaning. This unexpected realisation that to be human involves inevitable limitations can really take our breath away.
It’s often at this point that people decide to come for therapy, because the up until now really effective distractions provided by work or play are just no longer successful. Trying to fill the emptiness with food or alcohol has stopped working. Now that these thoughts and the accompanying body sensations have raised their heads, it is impossible to keep pushing them away. But, with the right support, they can be met with, communicated with and lived with.
There are several things that can trigger existential anxiety: World events such as war, pandemics and the climate crisis, an alteration in personal circumstances, like emigration and career change, the death of someone close to us, watching our parents age, “big birthday” milestones or becoming unwell ourselves can all lead to a sense of screeching to a halt, looking around us, as if seeing reality for the first time and asking ourselves “Now what?”
And this is where the paradox happens. Because we can only find true psychological wellbeing (what we might term peace, or happiness) once we have reached this deeply troubling place. Wellbeing has been described as the ability to face the disturbing facts of life, and, as long as we are denying these, we can’t face them, so we can’t be well!
Recognising where we are, acknowledging our freedom to choose, accepting the fragility of our lives enables us to live with authenticity, making the most of the lives that we have.

03/01/2026

Hello,
Someone recently messaged me about accessing hypnotherapy. Unfortunately, I am unable to open your message. Please do head over to my website www.hadleighhypnotherapy.co.uk where you can complete the contact forms, and I will get back to you.
Many thanks.

Hadleigh Hypnotherapy and Counselling in Ipswich Suffolk Make that Change " Do you want to make a positive change to your life? Would you like help with conquering a phobia, stopping an unwanted habit, letting go of anxiety or managing your stress? Maybe you would like to understand past events in y...

14/03/2025

During the past six months, I’ve had the privilege of working with people who have been bereaved.

These last few months have reminded me of the most important aspect of the work I do; that is, the power of the therapeutic relationship. I use the word “privilege” because it’s the way I feel about the fact that my clients invite me to share with them their vulnerability as they feel their way through a world that is, for them changed forever. I’m astonished and heartened by their resilience and courage whilst we explore together their present experiencing and their views of their future, as they allow themselves the time and space to feel all their feelings and to know themselves to be heard and held within a therapeutic space.

Many, many years ago, when I trained as a nurse in London, we were taught the now very well-known model of grief, with its five stages that people (apparently) move through before emerging at the other side. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, who founded the model, never meant it to be perceived as this linear journey that’s the same for everyone, but this is unfortunately how it came to be seen.
Today, new ways of looking at grief and talking about it have lead to some very much more realistic and helpful models, models that don’t assume that time is a healer, nor that anyone should “get over it by now.”

My Pluralistic practice means I can work with my client’s grief in many different ways, but I always begin by giving them the opportunity to talk at length about their loved one, to let me “meet” them and tell me everything that they want me to know. It’s common for clients to walk me through the events of the loss, often in great detail. This may not be something they have been able to do before and can feel very healing for them.

Unlike the old “time to move on” advice that used to be given (albeit well meant) to grieving people, the idea of Continuing Bonds (Klass, Silvermand and Nickman) suggests that relationships change after death but they don’t end. People don’t want to sever ties with their loved one. In fact, they want to be helped to continue the relationship in a different way that enables them to find meaning in their new, changed future. Similarly, Lois Tonkin’s Growing Around Grief sees grief as a lifelong journey, one which includes the person who has died. There is no saying goodbye to them or leaving them in the past. Whilst the size of my clients’ grief will stay the same, the impact it has on every aspect of their lives will certainly change. By carrying their loved one with them, they can grow around their grief, finding meaning in life despite their loss.