Clare Findlay Therapy

Clare Findlay Therapy Kilmarnock Based Integrative Psychotherapy offering clinic and online sessions.

Why some people resist your growth. Have you ever noticed a relationship change after you've been trying really hard? An...
08/07/2026

Why some people resist your growth.

Have you ever noticed a relationship change after you've been trying really hard? And not in a good way?

It doesn't mean your growth is wrong, or that the other person is the villain. It might just mean that relationships have to adapt to survive.

People can resist change because the old pattern worked better for them. (But maybe not for you). It doesn't mean the relationship is doomed. It just means it needs a bit of negotiation. Negotiation sounds serious but it doesn't have to be.

I speak to clients every week who face this very problem, it's an integral part of change. And it can be done. If you BOTH want to keep the relationship.

Send me a message if you have a person you'd like to meet halfway.

How to banish your inner critic. Maybe not banish them but how to begin to engage with what that inside critical voice i...
06/07/2026

How to banish your inner critic.

Maybe not banish them but how to begin to engage with what that inside critical voice is wanting from you or how it undermines your belief in yourself.
This isnt a replacement for therapy(a wee disclaimer) but more a humourous approach to engaging with it.
Let me know if there's any common things your critic says regularly to you. Mine is often chastising me for 'thinking I am something'🫣 A firm favourite!
Save this for a time when your inner critic gets loud(and maybe mean)

30/06/2026

10 things people need to know about their inner critic.

You know that mean voice in your head that pops up at your most vulnerable moments?
Well surprisingly, Its not just being mean to you for no reason, and there is a solution for how to handle it.

In this series we are looking at how to deal with your own self criticism. Follow for the next video where we start 'help' that voice to stand down.


You know that mean voice in your head? We all have one but sometimes they can go a bit overboard and take over everythin...
28/06/2026

You know that mean voice in your head? We all have one but sometimes they can go a bit overboard and take over everything you do.
I'm a psychotherapist and I work with people who's survival strategies no longer fit who you are becoming. This week I'm exploring our inner critics so save this post and look out for the next parts where I'll be looking at their purpose and how to get them to stop.

You know that mean voice in your head? We all have one but sometimes they can go a bit overboard and take over everythin...
28/06/2026

You know that mean voice in your head? We all have one but sometimes they can go a bit overboard and take over everything you do.
I'm a psychotherapist and I work with people who's survival strategies no longer fit who you are becoming. This week I'm exploring our inner critics so save this post and look out for the next parts where I'll be looking at their purpose and how to get them to stop.

25/06/2026

If you have a strong inner critic, I can't tell you your story. But after working with people in therapy, I've noticed some common patterns.

People with a harsh inner critic often care deeply. They set exceptionally high standards for themselves. They can minimise their achievements and replay their mistakes after everyone has forgot about them.
If you have an inner critic you may be hard on yourself to keep yourself safe from criticism from the outside world. A way of keeping yourself right so you don't make mistakes.

These aren't characters flaws or even lack of confidence in yourself. They're patterns that develop for reasons that are totally understandable.
Good news is... when patterns are understood they can change. And you don't have to spend the rest of your life believing or even just having to listen to every critical thought that enters your head.

If this resonated with you save this video for when your inner critic kicks in. And now I'm being nosy, is anyone brave enough to share in the comments...
What's one thing in this video that you think your inner critic does most.
Mine is "let's replay that mistake you made in slow motion and pretend everyone remembers it" 😐

23/06/2026

The biggest lie perfectionism tells you is that it will help you succeed.
You don't even need to complete things perfectly to be a perfectionist, it can affect you from this unconventional angle.

If you're scared of coming to therapy because you think it's scary, well.. you'd be right. I think talking to someone yo...
20/06/2026

If you're scared of coming to therapy because you think it's scary, well.. you'd be right.

I think talking to someone you don't know about personal stuff.. it's so scary. But that doesn't last.

And with the right therapist they stop feeling like a stranger.

The scariest part is walking through the door, or logging on for the first time.

And after that, you don't have to do it alone.

If you've been thinking of coming to therapy, take this post as a wee baby shove to remind you.

12/06/2026

THE BIGGEST LIE PERFECTIONISM TELLS YOU.
Perfectionism isn't always about having high standards. Often, it's a protective strategy developed to avoid criticism, failure, judgement, rejection, or disappointment. In this video, I explore the psychology of perfectionism, why so many perfectionists feel exhausted, and how healing starts by creating safety rather than striving for perfection

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16-20 Bank Street
Kilmarnock
KA11HL

Opening Hours

Monday 10am - 6pm
Tuesday 10am - 6pm
Wednesday 10am - 6pm
Thursday 10am - 6pm

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