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The Rambling Psychotherapist

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The Rambling Psychotherapist

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05/11/2026

Creating change often requires us to register our protest. We can do this in many ways, and it often does not require us to blow things up in order to get our message across.

And yet, protest is necessary, without it the friction required to initiate change is missing.

I just wanted to remind you of this on bonfire night, a night of celebration whose origins are intended to remind us that this way of protesting does not always pay off.

Do you struggle to register your protest for fear of the impact it might have? Or do you find your protest is always explosive and that backfires on you?

Want some support to change this?

Get in touch.

02/11/2026

Día de los Mu***os - Day of the Dead is held in several South American countries, usually on the 1st and 2nd of November, although this varies from place to place.

It is two whole days which are dedicated every year to celebrating and honouring the lives of loved ones who have died.

Grief doesn't necessarily have the tidy end point that our cultural narratives here in the UK would like us to believe exists.

Grief stays with us, for as long as it needs to. Sometimes it becomes less prominent over time. Sometimes it stays front and center. Sometimes it can appear to be gone and years later will rise up out of nowhere because a sight, a sound, a smell or a memory reaches inside us and reminds us that someone important is still missing from our lives.

And each culture deals with grief differently. Here in the UK, it would seem it is expected that we do it all promptly and tidily so that we can get back to business as usual as quickly as possible. But to be honest, it's rare that people's experience of grief fits within this model, so we can feel forced to continue in private, behind closed doors.

I like the Día de los Mu***os approach, simply because it gives space for grief to be a part of life and allows for the grieving to stay connected to community, no matter how long it lasts for. Maybe us UK folk could learn a thing or two from it.

31/10/2026

It's Samhain today (Nos Calan Gaeaf, one of the Ysbryd Nos in Wales). This is the Celtic festival which marks the official transition from the harvest season into the dark half of the year.

Traditionally, it is believed that the veil between the spirit world, and the world in which we live grows thin at this time, bringing us closer to those who have gone before us. Here in Wales it is said the Tylwyth Teg start to pay more attention to the affairs of us humans.

This powerful festival offers us an opportunity to reflect on the cycle of life & death, and embrace the transformative energy of the season (think death and rebirth).

It's a time for reviewing the year, giving thanks, honouring that which has passed, and letting go of anything which no longer serves you.

Celebrations include the setting up of alters to honour our departed loved ones, and gathering together with friends, family and/or community around the fire to share food and exchange stories of what has transpired (the fire represents the light which we know will return after the solstice).

Whatever your belief system, this festival offers another opportunity in the year to pause and reflect. When you slow down and pay fuller attention to your world, your awareness grows, and you can make more conscious and life affirming choices moving forwards.

Try these journal prompts as a starting point:

🎃 It's well documented that we can inherit beliefs and patterns of behaviour from others. The focus tends to be on the limits that these place on us, but these things are not always limiting. I invite you to spend some time now contemplating the beliefs and behaviours you have inherited and how these might limit or support you.
🎃 Samhain asks us to truly acknowledge death. This is the time when things die back, to make space for new life to be born. Face into this, gaze into your own inner darkness. Listen to what it has to tell you, and you will discover parts of yourself you want to let go of in order to grow & evolve. What do you need to let go of in this moment, to enable your future growth. What will future generations inherit from you?

29/10/2026

I am often asked how long therapy will take, and unfortunately there is no one-size-fits-all answer.

It all depends what it is you would like to achieve, how complicated your experience is, and what might need putting in place for you to get to your desired outcome.

The truth is, that although we can do some really good work together in awareness raising and building new coping strategies, short term therapy (6-12 session, depending on who you ask) will not take us much further.

Let's use this boat in the harbour as an example. If we wait for the tide to come back in, the ship will be floating again very quickly. And if we add some extra buoyancy aids around the edges, it may float better than it has done in years.

But, if we want to address the rusty hull, fix any holes, and give the vessel a whole new paint job, which will allow it to sail off into the sunset and reach its dream destination, we might need a bit more time.

Impactful, sustained change which gets in at the heart of what causes long-term distress, often takes a wee while longer. The length really does differ for everyone.

The good news is, that we can assess as we go along. We can work together until you feel you are floating well enough to continue your journey solo for a while, and then if you feel you need it, you can come back and do a little more work to make things even better. I am always guided by what it is that you want and need.

If you are contemplating working with me, drop me an email to [email protected] to book a discovery call.

28/10/2026

If you wait for the guilt to disappear before making a choice, you may be waiting for a very long time.

Guilt isn't always evidence that you're doing something wrong.

Sometimes it's simply what shows up when you start doing something differently.

Saying no.
Holding a boundary.
Choosing yourself.
Not rescuing everyone.

You may have to make the choice while the guilt comes along for the ride.

Eventually, your nervous system learns that doing something differently doesn't automatically make you a bad person.

27/10/2026

We attach an extraordinary amount of meaning to starting again.

We tell ourselves we should have known better.

That we're too old.

That we've wasted time.

That everybody else seems to have their sh*t together and somehow we've ended up back at the beginning.

But you are never really starting from the same place.

You bring experience.
Knowledge.
Awareness.
A slightly different version of yourself.

There is no shame in deciding that something isn't working and choosing another way.

Whether you're 25, 45, 65 or 85.

There is no expiry date on beginning again.

26/10/2026

If your wants and needs were ignored, dismissed or shamed when you were young, you may have learned that you could only have what worked for everybody else.

You learn to survive on crumbs.

And eventually, crumbs can start to feel normal.

Undoing that as an adult takes work.

Your needs may feel inconvenient.
Your wants may feel selfish.

That doesn't mean they are.

Your needs are absolutely valid.
Your wants are valid too.

Even when they don't perfectly fit somebody else's plans.

25/10/2026

Uugh, the dreaded clock change! 🌜🌑🌛

Evidence is showing that this means so much more than just an extra hour in bed. Recent studies suggest that this shift in schedule on a twice yearly basis can have a detrimental impact on our health.

We all have a body clock inside of us which follows a natural rhythm (our circadian rhythm). This rhythm shapes physical, mental and behavioural changes in us that follow a 24-hour cycle and it regulates things like alertness, sleepiness, appetite and mood.

Shifting our sleep/wake times by as little as one hour on an ongoing basis, can have a dramatic impact on our circadian rhythm, and can result in low energy levels, disrupted sleep, dysregulated appetite, and wildly fluctuating or low mood.

To add to this, as we experience increased hours of darkness through the autumn and winter months, we can also find our mood plummets further, fatigue increases and we can also experience an increase in muscle pain and weakened bones due to a lack of vitamin D from exposure to sunlight.

To top it all off, recent studies show that disruption to habitual sleep patterns also has a profound affect on cardiovascular health.

What can you do if you find yourself impacted by the clock change?

🌞 The main thing you can do is make sure you get some exposure to natural light every day. Our circadian rhythms are highly influenced by this. Try to get outside every morning, as early as you can after the sun has risen and aim to get 20-30 mins of light exposure. For an even more impactful light prescription, try to get out for a similar period of time as dusk approaches too.

🌜 Establishing a standard sleep and wake time and sticking to it can help you to adjust more quickly to the change. Avoiding caffeine and other stimulants past midday, and avoiding electronic light stimulation in the evening can all help you to drop off more easily and get a more restful night.

🌞 Consider layering in some extra self-care strategies to help you regulate your mood more effectively and get better sleep. Breathwork would always be my primary go to for this, because it's simple and easy to incorporate into your schedule.

23/10/2026

Choosing yourself will disappoint some people.

Particularly people who benefited from you not doing so.

When you're used to accommodating everyone else, a boundary can feel incredibly uncomfortable.

Their disappointment may feel like evidence that you've done something wrong.

It isn't necessarily.

Sometimes it's simply evidence that something has changed.

You are allowed to consider yourself in the decisions you make.

Even when somebody else would prefer you didn't.

22/10/2026

What people think healing looks like:

🪶Never feeling like a hot mess ever again.

What healing actually looks like:

🪶Noticing a trigger a little sooner.
🪶Staying with a difficult feeling instead of immediately running from it.
🪶Offering yourself kindness when you'd normally offer criticism.
🪶Setting a boundary before resentment takes over.
🪶Having a little more capacity for joy, connection and rest.

Healing doesn't mean you stop being human.

It means you become better able to stay alongside yourself while you are one.

Address

Leeds

Opening Hours

Monday	11am - 8pm
Tuesday	11am - 8pm
Wednesday	11am - 5pm
Thursday	11am - 5pm
Friday	11am - 5pm

Website

https://ramblingpsychotherapist.co.uk/, https://ramblingpsychotherapist.co.uk/index.php/courses/

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