Ky Harkins Life Counselling Services

22/08/2026

MY ADHD
The bit you don’t see.

You may have heard about the Channel 4 documentary this week that has set the cat amongst the pigeons, ADHD: The Myth.

I haven’t actually watched it yet but have watched quite a few psychologists and other professionals responding to it this week, some very strongly! 😬

So I thought I’d add my two penn’orth to the wider conversation, just from a slightly different perspective.

I was diagnosed with ADHD later in life, after peri-menopause seemed to turn the volume up on traits I’d spent years managing. I also work with a lot of diagnosed and potentially undiagnosed neurodivergent clients.

I’m actually a little bit on the fence when it comes to some of the conversations around ADHD because I absolutely believe that complex trauma, particularly over a prolonged period of time, can create behaviours and difficulties that can look very similar to ADHD.

So sometimes the question of “Is this ADHD? Is this trauma? Or is it both?” can be incredibly complicated.

But whichever it is, the experience for the person living with it is VERY real and often completely invisible to everyone else.

So let me tell you what my ADHD can look like when nobody is watching…

It’s having what feels like a thousand thoughts racing through my head, exhausting me and sometimes literally giving me a headache.

I can go from:

“Is my partner having an affair?”
(which, for the record, I don’t believe for one moment 😂)

to…

“Why are you so messed up, Ky?”

to…

“I wonder what goes through my kids’ heads about their childhood?”

to a random memory from 1999…

to…

“Hurry up Ky, you’re going to be late!”

to…

“Do my students actually like me?”

ALL WHILE I’M SITTING ON THE LOO HAVING A WEE!!!

And that can be within the space of a few minutes…. At 5.30 in the bloody morning. 🤦‍♀️😂

When I look at those thoughts, I can see a theme running through many of them:

Shame. Am I good enough? What do people think of me? Have I upset someone? Will I be rejected?

Rejection sensitivity is something many people with ADHD describe, an incredibly intense emotional response to perceived rejection, criticism or failure.

And for me, it can almost physically hurt.

Take that random memory from 1990.

I accidentally said something to a friend/work colleague that may have come across as hurtful. It wasn’t intended to be nasty at all. Yet 27 years later, I can still remember it and feel the shame as if it was yesterday.

Even writing about it now makes something hurt inside because I think:

What if I upset him?
What if he thought I was horrible?
What if he still remembers it?

Twenty seven years later!!! 🤦‍♀️

And nobody around me knows any of this is happening because I learned a very long time ago to put a smile on my face, make sure everybody else is OK and KEEP GOING.

And to say that is bloody exhausting is an understatement!!

Every 4–6 weeks or so, I experience what my counsellor has described as “cyclical burnout.”

It’s almost like I have a mini breakdown inside my own head. I’m exhausted. Overwhelmed. I have nothing left to give and even simple things feel enormous.

That’s probably when my family and friends see that something isn’t quite right, but even then, they probably don’t know the true gravity of what is happening inside my little brain.

My best friend probably knows more than most because she’s the poor sod who gets the daily voice notes 😂.

I crash. I meltdown. I tell her I can’t cope with anything…. I cry, I laugh and eventually it passes. She knows who she is and without her, I don’t know how I’d cope. She’s my daily therapy and my rock 🩷.

So after my meltdown, back comes cheerful, capable, people-pleasing Ky.

Except I’ve noticed something changing.

I can’t mask and people-please like I used to.

I just can’t do it anymore.

Maybe that’s because I finally feel emotionally safe enough in my life to put my big-girl pants on and say NO.

Maybe I’m simply getting older and don’t have the energy anymore.

Maybe peri-menopause has changed how well I’m able to compensate.

Probably a mixture of everything.

But I’m definitely quieter these days. More introverted.

I have lovely people in my life who I am incredibly grateful for and I LOVE spending time with them.

But my social battery is depleted much more easily.

Even going out can involve a hundred racing thoughts before I’ve left the house.

What time do I need to leave?
What am I wearing?
Am I going to be late?
Have I forgotten something?
Who’s going?
Do I look OK?
What about…?
Did I…?
Should I…?

So sometimes I’m bloody knackered before I’ve even seen anyone. 😂

Could some of this be connected to my life experiences and trauma?

Absolutely.

Could some of it be ADHD?

Absolutely.

Could the two interact with each other and make the whole thing even more complicated?

I think so.

But whatever label we put on it, the experience is real even when nobody else can see it.

And that’s probably the bit I want people to understand.

Over the next few weeks I plan to post a little more about “my ADHD” because no two people with ADHD are the same.

But I’m having a week off work now, so those posts will be incoming whenever my brain decides it’s interested in the subject again. 🤣

Because another great feature of my brain is:

THIS IS THE BEST IDEA I’VE EVER HAD. I’M GOING TO DO ALL OF IT RIGHT NOW!!!

…followed shortly afterwards by:

Nah….Can’t be bothered. 🤷‍♀️😂

Anyway, that’s my very raw and not particularly short version of what ADHD can look like for me.

Have a lovely weekend ❤️

I’ll see you when my brain decides to come back to this subject. 🤣

15/08/2026

Last week I posted about taking on some new supervisees, so I thought I’d share a little more about my professional background, training and lived experience and, more importantly, how these influence the supervisor I am.

Academic qualifications:

🎓 Certificate in Counselling Skills
🎓 Diploma in Ther**eutic Counselling — Humanistic, Psychodynamic, CBT, Transactional Analysis & Inner Child approaches
🎓 Practitioner’s Diploma in CBT
🎓 Certificate in Clinical Supervision
🎓 Certificate in Autism
🎓 Certificate in Working with Self-Harm & Su***de

I’ve also completed additional training in Narcissistic Abuse, Trauma Awareness, Parts Work, Safeguarding, Couples Therapy, Working with Travelling Communities and lots more that I genuinely can’t remember off the top of my head 🤦‍♀️😂.

Alongside counselling and supervision, I teach the first three counselling qualifications listed above and have written and delivered CPD workshops around domestic abuse, narcissistic abuse, anxiety and other mental health conditions.

Domestic abuse is an area particularly close to me, both professionally and personally.

I have worked as a counsellor within a domestic abuse centre, women’s refuge and r**e crisis centre, alongside undertaking specialist training including the Freedom Programme and Recovery Toolkit.

I also bring lived experience of domestic abuse and the systems that can surround it, including applying for Non-Molestation Orders and navigating criminal and family court processes.

More recently, I’ve also been navigating peri-menopause and receiving a late ADHD diagnosis. Both have given me a much deeper understanding of how our capacity, confidence, identity and even our understanding of ourselves can change, including when we’re the ones who are usually supporting everybody else!

I’m still learning about myself too. Lived experience doesn’t make us experts in somebody else’s experience, but I do think it can bring another level of understanding, curiosity and empathy.

In terms of experience:

💙 I’ve run my own private counselling practice for 7 years
💙 I’ve been a counselling tutor for 6 years
💙 I’ve been a Clinical Supervisor for 2 years

But ultimately, none of us are just our qualifications.

For me, good supervision isn’t about sitting opposite someone who has all the answers. It’s about having somewhere you can bring the messy bits too 💙.

The client you can’t stop thinking about, the session you wish you’d handled differently, the personal stuff that might be affecting your capacity, the self-doubt, imposter syndrome, the mistakes, the successes and the moments where you genuinely don’t know what to do next.

And I also really like to laugh with my supervisees. Supervision can involve some incredibly difficult and serious work, but I don’t believe that means the supervision room always has to feel serious. Sometimes we reflect deeply, sometimes we challenge things, sometimes we swear, and sometimes we laugh unapologetically.

I’m human. I’m authentic. I definitely don’t have all the answers and I’m probably a little bit crazy at times 🤦‍♀️ but that’s me and I don’t think I’d want to supervise from behind some polished, professional version of myself that isn’t real.

I want my supervisees to feel they can be human too.

I want you to be able to say “I’m struggling with this”, “I think I got this wrong” or even “I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing here” without worrying that I’m going to judge you.

Of course I’ll challenge you when needed, that’s part of good supervision but I want that challenge to come from a place of support, curiosity and helping you grow.

Because despite all of the qualifications and experience above, I’m still learning too. I think we all should be. 💙

I currently have a small number of supervision spaces available, both face-to-face and online, so if you’re looking for a supervisor and think we might be a good fit, feel free to get in touch for a chat.

30/07/2026

Are you looking for a Clinical Supervisor?

I currently have a small number of supervision spaces available and would love to welcome some new supervisees.

As a qualified Clinical Supervisor, I provide a warm, supportive and collaborative space where you can reflect, develop your practice and feel both supported and appropriately challenged in a safe environment.

I currently work with trainees, newly qualified counsellors and experienced practitioners, also with professionals in a range of helping roles, including support workers, teachers, mental health practitioners, managers and those in customer-facing roles where people regularly share emotionally difficult experiences.

I am an Integrative Counsellor, drawing on Person-Centred Therapy, CBT, Transactional Analysis and Inner Child work, allowing me to tailor supervision to your individual needs and way of working.

I also have specialist knowledge and experience in:

▫️ Unhealthy relationships
▫️ Domestic abuse
▫️ Narcissistic abuse

Alongside my professional experience, I bring lived experience of ADHD, peri-menopause and domestic abuse, which often gives me an additional understanding of some of the challenges professionals may be navigating.

For the past six years I have also worked as a counselling tutor and one of the things I love most about supervision is bringing together teaching, reflection and support to help practitioners grow in confidence, knowledge and self-awareness.

Whether you’re newly qualified, an experienced practitioner or work in another helping profession, my aim is to create a supervision relationship where you feel accepted, valued and empowered to develop both personally and professionally.

I offer online and face-to-face supervision.

Finding the right supervisor is important, so why not book a free 30 minute introductory chat and see whether we’re the right fit for one another?

Please feel free to message me if you’d like to find out more.

22/07/2026

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09/07/2026

Morning all,

I haven’t posted for some time as I’ve been so busy, but my memories brought up all these quotes I have posted on this day over the last few years and they’re pretty good, so I thought I’d share.

Hope you are all well 💙.

14/06/2026

Welcome to another member of the team, meet Mark 💙

Hello, I'm Mark. I'm a disability-affirmative Integrative Therapist (MBACP and NCPS registered). I specialise in working with disabilities, chronic illness and trauma. I am person-centred and Trauma-Informed, using multiple approaches including Transactional Analysis and CBT. I'm also the incoming Clinical Lead at Spokz People, where I facilitate group therapy and support for disabled people, and train other therapists to work with people with disabilities.

I have a life-long progressive neurological condition and use a wheelchair part-time, so I understand the challenges faced by people with a disability. I've also seen the incredible strength, resourcefulness and resilience of the disabled community – including in those who struggle to see it in themselves.

I use a person-centred approach, which means I focus on you as a whole individual first, not just the problems you are facing. I work with a wide range of issues, and specialise in working with disability, chronic illness and trauma. This can include the impact of disability or illness on:

self-esteem
relationships
health and wellbeing, including anxiety and depression
work and finances
relationships to care and independence
sense-of-self, including internalised ableism
loneliness and belonging
grief and loss

Being trauma-informed, I prioritise a safe and gentle approach to trauma recovery, and work with all kinds of trauma and difficult life experiences. I also use polyvagal theory, which works with the impact of trauma on the body.

I work with people in recovery from addiction. I've been in recovery for addiction for over 7 years, so I understand the challenges of recovery, especially around cannabis and alcohol.

I am disability-affirmative, LGBTQIA+ friendly and welcome people from all walks of life to my practice, regardless of race, religion, or socio-economic background.

13/06/2026

Please PM me for more info, limited spaces. £40 per person.

12/06/2026

Welcome to our new team member Chris!

Hi all, I’m Chris Warburton (MBACP Accred), an integrative therapist combining elements of psychodynamic, person-centred, and CBT.

I will be shortly begin working at Admirals House, 18 Nelson St, SS1 1EF – and I am looking to take on new clients 😊.

I work with over 18s only. My primary areas are sexual abuse (men or women, experienced as a child or adult), trauma, addiction, anxiety, and depression.

Feel free to pass on my details if you know anyone who might be a good fit, or please message me if you want to connect! 👍

My number is 07934439140, and counselling directory profile is https://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/counsellors/christopher-warburton

Thanks 😊

Warm, down-to-earth therapy for anxiety, trauma, depression, and other difficult past experiences. I offer a calm, non-judgemental space where you can talk openly and at your own pace.