The NI Sex Therapist

09/09/2026

09/09/2026

I’m a s*x therapist &…

I think you have a right to your own erotic template.

What have you been taught p**n automatically says about a person?

P**n is not automatically the problem.
The problem is when p**n becomes harmful in someone’s life.

Can you understand your erotic world without hating yourself for having one?

We all develop an erotic template: a personal pattern of fantasy, arousal, imagery, meaning and s*xual interest.

Having an erotic inner world is not a moral failure.

When people are taught to fear or despise parts of that world, shame often drives them underground.

Secrecy can then become less about the s*xuality itself and more about the fear of being judged for it.

Shame doesn’t always stop s*xual behaviour.
Sometimes it just teaches people to hide it.

What would become possible if s*xuality could be talked about before it had to be defended?

Adult s*xual-health education and discussion. For educational purposes only; this content is not individual therapy, diagnosis, or clinical advice.

*xtherapy *xualshame *xTherapistand *xtherapist

09/09/2026

This page is for the conversations people wish they could have;

P**n.
Ma********on.
Kink.
B**M.
Jealousy.
Fantasy.
Monogamy.
Non-monogamy.
S*xual shame.
Consent.
Desire.

Most of us were handed unwritten & unspoken s*xual rules long ago but never any s*xual literacy.

We were told what was acceptable.
What was dirty.
What counted as normal.
What men should want.
What women should tolerate.
What a “good” relationship should look like.

And a lot of those rules were never questioned.

This page is here to question them.

Some posts will make you feel seen.
Some will make you rethink something you were certain about.
Some will probably p**s you off.

That’s fine.

I’m not here to tell you what to believe about s*x. I’m here to make you examine why you believe it.

No pretending monogamy is automatically healthier.
No pretending jealousy proves love.
No pretending kink means trauma.
No pretending or**sm means the s*x was good.
No pretending desire is morally tidy.

This is psychos*xual and therapeutic content for adults.

Clinically informed.
Consent-focused.
Non-judgemental.
Willing to say the quiet part out loud.

Welcome to The NI S*x Therapist.

Let’s talk about s*x properly.

Adult s*xual-health and relationship education. General educational content only; not a substitute for individual therapy or medical advice.

*xTherapist
*xtherapy

22/11/2023

https://www.gq.com/story/11-fundamental-forms-of-ethical-non-monogamy-explained?fbclid=IwAR1VXqaiPH9FbESlvXXm0OGBmdOxtAHK9Ob0A4xNPwZiqMIM1TKYEQrabTw

There's a big difference between Polyfidelity and Don't Ask, Don't Tell, after all.

27/10/2023

Kink positive all the way!

Loved the first video so thought i would give this one a share... not sure FB will approve lol

https://www.facebook.com/reel/1002866397496682?s=yWDuG2&fs=e

05/10/2023

https://www.s*xintimacyot.com/blog/the-highs-and-lows-of-sensory-processing-and-s*xuality

What occupational therapists need to consider when thinking about sensory processing and s*xuality

05/10/2023

Sensory processing disorder and intimacy - the hidden side of s*x and neurodiversity.

Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD) is a neurological condition that affects how individuals perceive and respond to sensory input from the environment. While SPD can impact various aspects of daily life, including social interactions, communication, and self-regulation, it also plays a significant role in the realm of intimacy and s*x.

Understanding Sensory Processing Disorder

Sensory Processing Disorder is a condition in which the brain has difficulty processing and responding to sensory stimuli appropriately. It can affect one or more of the sensory systems, including touch, taste, smell, sight, sound, and proprioception (awareness of one's body position). Individuals with SPD may have heightened sensitivity (hypersensitivity) or reduced sensitivity (hyposensitivity) to certain sensory inputs.

SPD and Intimacy

Intimacy and s*xual relationships often involve various sensory experiences, including touch, taste, smell, and sound. For individuals with SPD, these sensory experiences can become overwhelming or even painful, affecting their ability to engage in intimate relationships. Here are some common challenges individuals with SPD may face in this context:

Hypersensitivity: People with hypersensitivity may find certain sensations, such as touch or sound, extremely uncomfortable or even painful during intimate moments. This can make physical intimacy difficult and anxiety-inducing.

Hyposensitivity: On the other hand, those with hyposensitivity may struggle to feel pleasure or arousal due to reduced sensitivity to sensory stimuli. This can lead to difficulties in achieving or maintaining s*xual arousal.

Anxiety and Overwhelm: SPD can heighten anxiety levels, which can be particularly challenging during intimate moments. The fear of sensory overload or discomfort can make it difficult for individuals to relax and enjoy the experience.

Tips for Navigating Intimacy with SPD

Communication: Open and honest communication with your partner is crucial. Share your experiences, triggers, and boundaries related to sensory input. Discuss what feels comfortable and what doesn't.

Sensory-Friendly Environment: Create a sensory-friendly space for intimate moments. This may include dimming the lights, using soft fabrics, and minimizing background noise to reduce sensory overload.

Slow and Gentle Exploration: Take your time to explore intimacy with your partner. Gradually introduce sensory experiences and allow your body to adjust at its own pace.

Sensory Tools: Experiment with sensory tools and aids that can help manage sensory challenges. Weighted blankets, fidget toys, or noise-cancelling headphones may be helpful.

Professional Help: Consider seeking guidance from a therapist or occupational therapist who specialises in SPD. They can provide strategies and techniques to cope with sensory issues in intimate settings.

Self-Care: Prioritise self-care to manage anxiety and stress. Techniques such as deep breathing, mindfulness, and progressive muscle relaxation can be beneficial.








*xtherapy

04/10/2023

Such an amazing training (i know, i'm doing it!). It has a depth which is second to none of any i have ever completed.
Some of the themes and topics covered i would probably never have came across in my day to day life as a more general therapist. Back to that "you dont know what you dont know".

I couldn't recommend it more highly for anyone who wishes to specialise in psychos*xual presentations and intimate partners therapy ❤️

This training has definitely developed me more than i ever dreamed possible both personally and professionally.

https://www.facebook.com/100051802374661/posts/855126346224103/

Why choose the Contemporary Institute of Clinical S*xology (CICS) for your Diploma in Clinical S*xology.

01/10/2023

https://www.facebook.com/100064457603307/posts/703921295099784/

If you've got a friend you can trust to check-in with you to make sure you're feeling safe during a hook up then 'traffic lights' can be an easy and discreet way to keep them updated. You can work out with your friend what action they should take for each colour but for example: Red (I'm in danger, call the PSNI immediately) Amber (call me with an excuse to leave urgently) or Green (everything's good, let's dish about it tomorrow!)

For more information on how to use Grindr whilst keeping yourself safe come along to Grindr for Beginners on Tues 3rd October at 6PM: https://fb.me/e/3LmGLBHnz