06/03/2026
The people who most need therapy rarely go.
The clients who sit in my therapy room are not weak. They are brave. They are willing to question themselves. They come in with uncertainty; with the capacity to say, I might be part of this. Somewhere inside them there is a crack in their certainty, and that crack is where growth happens.
The people who cause the most damage in families, organisations and public life often cannot tolerate that crack. They may be intelligent, persuasive, powerful. They may command rooms and shape narratives. What determines their impact is their capacity for flexibility. The ability to rethink. The willingness to absorb challenge without turning it into attack.
I wrote an article this week about rigidity and power. After the escalations over the weekend, it feels even more urgent.
I am thinking about conviction; about authority; about who seeks therapy and who does not. I am thinking about the gender imbalance between those who do the emotional labour and those who hold power. I am thinking about what happens when certainty goes unexamined.
Therapy, at its best, builds accountability. It strengthens the muscle that allows us to feel discomfort without discharging it into others. It deepens our capacity to recognise our impact and repair when we have caused harm.
Mental health is the capacity to live in reality as it is, and to take responsibility for the effect you have on the people around you.
That is psychological maturity.
This is a free Substack piece, tap the link in my stories to read 📧
