The Ultimate You

The Ultimate You Guiding people with pain reclaim their lives; supporting clinicians to compassionately care, without bias & burnout

What a difference it makes to be treated as a human being rather than just a pair of injured knees! 🦵🏾🦵🏾The physio took ...
03/09/2026

What a difference it makes to be treated as a human being rather than just a pair of injured knees! 🦵🏾🦵🏾

The physio took the time to explore my priorities - what I actually wanted to get back to doing.

We discussed different rehab exercise possibilities, and he recognised and respected my experience of pacing through Long Covid and my clinical knowledge, trusting me to decide how best to pace them between sessions.

It was a great start to Pain Awareness Month.

01/09/2026

Because for years, I was treated as a body part, not a person.

Priorities were set for me, not with me.

No one was curious about the wider story - old beliefs, trauma, shame - all feeding into my pain experience.

And more than once, I left a consultation feeling unheard, and unseen.

🔁 This isn't uncommon
🤝 That's why care has to be a partnership
🚫 There's no one-size-fits-all

Read Part 2 of my journey Out Of The Vulvodynia Tunnel & Beyond by commenting HEARD or follow the link in my bio.

People come to us because they're living with pain and a part of that for some people, especially if it's pelvic pain, c...
28/08/2026

People come to us because they're living with pain and a part of that for some people, especially if it's pelvic pain, can be shame or guilt.

And that shame goes back much further in our lives - the way we perceive we need to show up, based on what we've learnt in childhood and societal norms.

I trained in advanced EMDR a couple of years back, and when I heard there was a further training exploring the experience of shame deeper, I knew I had to dive in.

Sure, I already help people work through shame but as clinicians we are never finished. We can never know it all. CPD is essential.

Anyone else read this one?
Healing the Shame That Binds You by John Bradshaw

That GP probably meant well. But my nervous system registered the disconnect - from my values and from the reality of li...
26/08/2026

That GP probably meant well. But my nervous system registered the disconnect - from my values and from the reality of living with vulval pain.

In Part 2 of my vulvodynia story: Out of the Tunnel and Beyond, I share what started my recovery after almost 10 years of pain, how I broke free, and key lessons along the way, I wish I'd known sooner!

You can read it now on Women’s Health Pathway. Comment BLOG or follow the link in my bio to read now 🗣️

Most clinicians have been trained to only focus on the body part that's in pain.But we know the intensity of pain doesn'...
20/08/2026

Most clinicians have been trained to only focus on the body part that's in pain.

But we know the intensity of pain doesn't correlate with the severity of an injury. And they don't match up when someone has chronic pain either.

No two people with the same diagnosis are alike. There will be other unique factors contributing to their experience of pain.

🧩🧩 Beliefs, fears, past experiences, other challenges in their life, support they have, what pain stops them doing that's meaningful to them all differ from person to person.

Therefore, two patients, even with the same diagnosis, need to have treatment plans tailored to them.

✅ Treat the whole person in front of you, not the body part.

Are you really hearing your patients - or running their experiences through your own filters? Notice when you're making ...
18/08/2026

Are you really hearing your patients - or running their experiences through your own filters?

Notice when you're making assumptions, and move your focus to really witnessing the person in front of you.

No quick fix... It took 10 years of trialing medications, therapies, treatments before the light at the end of the tunne...
12/08/2026

No quick fix... It took 10 years of trialing medications, therapies, treatments before the light at the end of the tunnel guided me on my way out of unprovoked vulvodynia.

Call me stubborn or determined, but I did it.

Read Part 1 of my story by commenting STORY or click the link in my bio.

06/08/2026

Maybe that patient in pain didn't tense up mid-appointment because of what you said.

But how you communicated it.

Their nervous system is already on high alert ⚠️

So, a look that felt dismissive, or a tone or pace that made them feel like just a body part, amplifies the alarm.

Slowing your pace - in your words, your tone, your delivery - can help calm that alarm. And be aware of your facial expressions and body language too! It can be the difference between a patient who leaves feeling heard and one whose brain picks up threat signals 🛑

🗣️Effective communication is part of the treatment.

⚠️ “This is your life from now,” was devastating to hear from a clinician, partway through my decade with debilitating v...
04/08/2026

⚠️ “This is your life from now,” was devastating to hear from a clinician, partway through my decade with debilitating vulvodynia.

I share how that healthcare interaction amplified pain levels. I also share the rest of my story - from delayed diagnosis and years of searching for answers, to the unexpected turning point that marked the beginning of my recovery journey - in a guest blog.

Comment BLOG or follow the link in my bio to read Part 1 📖

30/07/2026

Your words, your voice, and your body language all matter in a clinical interaction.

Be aware of their impact - so you can avoid inadvertently reinforcing threat and instead support safety, trust, and self-efficacy.

Listen to how nocebo impacted Sheren’s journey with vulvodynia here: gopod.io/p/R1IHMl

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