Thinking in Shades of Grey Ltd

17/08/2026

Do you feel that when your child is interacting with you, you are both emotionally attuned?
Why emotional attunement matters…
When we are talking with someone, we naturally use their emotional signals to help us work out how the interaction is going. Are they interested? Confused? Overwhelmed? Enjoying the conversation?
These signals help us decide whether we need to:
• Change the topic
• Slow down
• Add more information or simplify what we are saying
• Adjust our communication style – are we giving too many instructions or asking too many questions? Would a comment be easier for them to engage with?
• Rely more on non-verbal communication, such as facial expression, gesture or shared enjoyment
For many autistic children, noticing, interpreting and responding to emotional signals can be more challenging. Equally, when we are busy, stressed or focused on getting through the day, we can sometimes miss the signals our children are giving us too.
Have you ever spent time planning a special outing, activity or treat for your child, only to get to the end of the day and realise that so much energy went into making it happen that there was little opportunity to truly connect with each other along the way?
It is easy to become focused on the destination. Life is busy, and there are things that need to get done. But when we focus only on the outcome, we can miss the opportunities for shared attention, shared enjoyment and emotional connection that happen along the way.
Emotional attunement isn't about getting it right all the time. It's about noticing, adjusting and finding ways to stay connected.
The trip to the beach, the visit to the park, the family outing or even the shopping trip may be forgotten by next week. The shared moments that occur during those experiences often help build trust, connection, flexibility, and resilience over time.
A small experiment for today...
Choose one interaction with your child and spend a little more time observing than directing. What emotional signals do you notice? How do they respond when you change your pace, reduce questions, or simply share the moment with them? I'd love to hear your thoughts. What helps you and your child feel more emotionally connected?

29/06/2026

Thank you to Connect with Speech and Language Therapy for sharing such thoughtful reflections following last week's webinar...

Last week I had the privilege of presenting a webinar for PACT Paediatric Autism Communication Therapy on running a Home and School Programme (HASP), exploring how collaboration between parents, schools and practitioners can strengthen communication, shared understanding and consistency across home and school.

One of the PACT Practitioners who attended has shared some thoughtful reflections, which I've shared below because I think they capture the spirit of the discussion beautifully.

One question we didn't have time to explore during the webinar was whether this kind of collaborative approach could also work within mainstream education.

Whilst my own experience has been within a specialist setting (Bright Futures School for kids with autism, Oldham, UK), IMPACT shared that the PACT-G trial demonstrated that PACT can be implemented across a range of educational settings. Building on that work, PACT is also developing a PACT-Educators Level 1 eLearning programme, designed to support teachers, teaching assistants and other education professionals in applying PACT principles within schools.

I'd be interested to hear your thoughts. Whether you're a parent, teacher, SENCo or another professional…

What do you think are the biggest opportunities and challenges in building meaningful collaboration between home and school?

If you've experienced good collaboration between home and school, what made it work? And if it's been difficult, what do you think got in the way?

Today I had the opportunity to attend the latest PACT Webinar, which focused on delivering PACT through a collaborative home and school approach.

One of the things I appreciate most about PACT is that it asks us, as adults, to reflect on our own communication.

Rather than expecting autistic children to adapt to us, PACT encourages parents and practitioners to notice what supports connection, slow interactions down, and make small changes to our own responses that can create more opportunities for communication in everyday life.

Today's webinar explored how these same principles can be strengthened when parents, schools and practitioners work together with shared goals, shared understanding and open communication. The discussion highlighted that consistency across environments isn't about everyone doing everything identically. It's more about building relationships, understanding what works for each child and creating joined-up support across home and school.

As a certified PACT practitioner, I found this really thought-provoking.

I'd love to hear your thoughts.

➡️ If you're a parent of an autistic child, what would meaningful collaboration between home, school/nursery and a PACT practitioner look like for your family?

➡️ If you're a teacher, SENCo or another professional in a school or nursery, what would make this kind of collaboration feel realistic and achievable?

I'm genuinely interested in hearing different perspectives because meaningful collaboration starts with listening to one another.

I'd love to start a conversation.

10/05/2026

Upcoming Free Autism Support Webinars, hosted by PACT.

🚨 2026 Webinar Series Now Open for Registration 🚨

Our 2026 webinar series brings together leading experts and practitioners to explore key topics in Autism support and intervention.

These sessions are completely free to attend — we simply ask that you register in advance.

You can join one webinar or the full series, with each session designed to stand alone so you can focus on what matters most to you.

Places are limited, so secure your spot today and be part of the conversation ✨

Register your place here 👉https://www.pacttraining.co.uk/webinar-series-2026/👈

04/05/2026

I support parents of autistic children who have often tried multiple strategies…
…but things still don’t quite work.
Not because you’re doing anything wrong, but because many approaches focus on what’s happening on the surface, rather than how your child’s development is unfolding underneath.
I know this both professionally and personally.
There were moments with my daughter where I just didn’t understand what she needed from me.
I’m an Autism Parent Educator, and I support families to better understand their child’s communication and behaviour, so it becomes clearer what’s going on and how to respond in ways that actually help.
I’m running a free online session where I’ll share this approach:
When nothing seems to be working…
Autism through a developmental lens
If it feels relevant, you’re very welcome to join 💛
You can reserve your place via the link in the comments👇
Or feel free to message me if you’d like to check anything first.

17/04/2026

Many parents are told their child has a developmental delay…

But that doesn’t always explain why things feel so hard day to day.

In this free Zoom talk, I’ll be sharing a different way of understanding your child’s development... one that helps make sense of communication, behaviour, and connection.

📅 22 April
🕗 8pm (GMT)

If you’re looking for things to feel clearer and more manageable, you’re very welcome to join.

Comment 'JOIN' below or email [email protected], and I'll send you the link.

16/04/2026

Autism Through a Developmental Lens

This session is for you if:
🌿 You want to better understand your child’s communication
🌿 You sometimes feel unsure how to respond or support
🌿 You’ve been told what to do… but not why it works

We’ll look at:
✔ What sits underneath behaviours
✔ How development impacts communication
✔ How to support connection in a way that feels more natural

If you’d like to join us, comment “JOIN” or send me a message 💛

15/04/2026

14/04/2026

When Skills Aren't Enough - Autism Through a Developmental Lens
When my daughter was younger, I remember feeling slightly confused…
She wasn’t communicating in the ways I expected.
Her facial expressions didn’t always match what I thought she was feeling.
And emotional connection sometimes felt just out of reach.
It wasn’t that she didn’t want to connect.
It was that I was looking through the wrong lens.
When I began to understand her development differently…
not as something delayed or missing,
but as something unfolding in its own way …
everything started to shift.
On 22 April, 8pm GMT, I’m hosting a live Zoom talk:
When Skills Aren’t Enough! Autism Through a Developmental Lens
I’ll be sharing:
🌿 Why communication can look so different
🌿 What’s really happening beneath behaviours
🌿 How connection grows when we reduce pressure
If you’ve ever felt unsure how to understand or support your child,
you’re very welcome to join us.
Comment ‘INFO’ or message me, and I’ll send the details 💛

27/03/2026

I was reviewing some assessment footage recently and noticed something that felt really important.

A mum and her daughter were looking at a picture in a book.
Mum’s face showed a little confusion…
and her daughter leaned in closer, wide-eyed, trying to work it out too.

Nothing was being asked of her.
Nothing was being taught.

They were simply wondering together.

It was brief, easy to miss…
but it was a moment of shared attention.

Not about looking on cue,
but about being with the same thing, at the same time.

18/03/2026

We often think communication means words.

But communication starts much earlier than that.

It can be a glance, a pause, a shift in body, a facial expression… or even a turning away.

These small moments are easy to miss, especially when we’re focused on helping, prompting, or encouraging more.

But often, they’re where communication is already beginning.

And when we start to notice them, we begin to see our child very differently.

✨ What might your child be communicating that’s easy to miss?

This is something I support families in understanding more deeply through my work as an RDI Consultant & PACT practitioner.