25/08/2026
We're taught pretty early on that if we want to get better at something, we just need to try harder. Work harder. Concentrate harder. Practise more. Put more effort in.
And sure, sometimes that's exactly right.
But here's the twist I see constantly in my work: sometimes the harder we try, the worse things get.
You know that feeling of lying in bed desperately trying to fall asleep? "I need to sleep. I've got to be up early. Why am I still awake?!" The more you want it, the more awake you feel. Maddening, right?
Performance works the same way. Picture a business owner walking into a big presentation, dead set on making a great impression… and suddenly they're so busy monitoring every word that their usual confidence just vanishes.
Funny old contradiction, isn't it? We care about the outcome, so we grip tighter. And that grip is often exactly what gets in the way.
Effort vs. trust
Most skills need balance. We prepare, we practise, we learn, we improve. But at some point, we have to let go of consciously controlling everything and just… perform.
You already know this feeling. Think of something you're brilliant at. Driving. Cooking a dish you've made a hundred times. Exercise. Chatting with an old friend.
You're not narrating every step in your head. You just do it. Your conscious mind sets the intention, and everything you've already learned quietly takes the wheel.
That's trust.
Something to try this week
Over the next few days, catch yourself trying too hard. Could be at work, mid-workout, lying awake at 2am, or even in a normal conversation.
When you notice it, don't rush to fix it. Just take a slow breath and ask:
"What would happen if I trusted myself a little more here?"
Then dial the effort down by 10%. Not all the way — just 10%.
Let your shoulders drop a bit. Slow the inner chatter. Stop trying to micromanage every next move.
Then just… watch what happens.
You might find you don't need to push harder at all. Sometimes the real skill is just getting out of your own way.
