23/06/2026
😂 honestly some people will try and justify to themselves the arse end off a donkey 🫏 you ride your horse twice a week Karen, you don’t need to pick today to do a 3 hour hack or arrive at my house at 5am before it gets too hot 🙄😂
How not to be a moron in a red heat weather warning.
1. Don’t ride your horse when it’s hotter than the surface of the sun. If you need telling the exact temperature of ‘too hot’ then you’re already an idiot and unfortunately I can’t help you. Use common sense. Key point, if you’re already sweating - don’t. A week off won’t kill you or your horse but justifying riding to the Facebook police might well do.
2. Bring your horse in or leave them out. Pick one. Commit to something for once in your life. Don’t outsource basic decision-making to Facebook strangers who think wind direction causes laminitis. Go stand in your horse’s stable, then stand in the field, and use your brain to decide which feels less like living inside a kettle. And if they’re not used to being in and they’re going to stress, don’t.
3. If you can get a fly mask on your horse, put one on. If you can’t, don’t. Unless you particularly enjoy chasing a horse around a field trying to Velcro a hat to his face in 35 degrees.
4. If they’re sweating, wash them off. Scrape it off or leave it on, stop over complicating things Sharon and wash the damn horse.
5. Water is not optional. Make it plain, make it fresh, make an additional bucket fancy with electrolytes if you’re feeling like a wellness influencer—but don’t f*ck around with their basic water.
6. Electrolytes and salt in feed are great—turning dinner into a sodium-themed buffet is not. We’re aiming for “recovered horse,” not “walking sea pickle.”
7. And obviously… don’t travel your horse for fun in a heatwave. This is not the week for a spontaneous outing to an unaffiliated pony patting clinic. However, if your horse is actually unwell and you need an emergency vet, yes—travel them appropriately and sensibly to a vet. Just don’t be a total spanner.
Didn’t really think this needed to be said but apparently Facebook is now used over common sense. So here’s the official guide, you’re welcome. I’m off to marinate in a puddle of my own sweat. ☀️
