Heart of Gold Private Carer

19/06/2025

June is Alzheimer’s Awareness Month

This is very poignant and worth a read….

If I get dementia, I’d like my family to hang this wish list up on the wall where I live. I want them to remember these things.

Firstly- every time you enter the room announce yourself. Eg “Hi Mum- it’s Margaret.”
NEVER ask- Do you know who I am??? That causes anxiety.

After that, here are 21 little insights which may help anyone involved with people who have dementia:

1. If I get dementia, I want my friends and family to embrace my reality.
2. If I think my spouse is still alive, or if I think we’re visiting my parents for dinner, let me believe those things. I’ll be much happier for it.
3. If I get dementia, don’t argue with me about what is true for me versus what is true for you.
4. If I get dementia, and I am not sure who you are, do not take it personally. My timeline is confusing to me.
5. If I get dementia, and can no longer use utensils, do not start feeding me. Instead, switch me to a finger-food diet, and see if I can still feed myself.
6. If I get dementia, and I am sad or anxious, hold my hand and listen. Do not tell me that my feelings are unfounded.
7. If I get dementia, I don’t want to be treated like a child. Talk to me like the adult that I am.
8. If I get dementia, I still want to enjoy the things that I’ve always enjoyed. Help me find a way to exercise, read, and visit with friends.
9. If I get dementia, ask me to tell you a story from my past.
10. If I get dementia, and I become agitated, take the time to figure out what is bothering me.
11. If I get dementia, treat me the way that you would want to be treated.
12. If I get dementia, make sure that there are plenty of snacks for me in the house. Even now if I don’t eat I get angry, and if I have dementia, I may have trouble explaining what I need.
13. If I get dementia, don’t talk about me as if I’m not in the room.
14. If I get dementia, don’t feel guilty if you cannot care for me 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It’s not your fault, and you’ve done your best. Find someone who can help you, or choose a great new place for me to live.
15. If I get dementia, and I live in a dementia care community, please visit me often.
16. If I get dementia, don’t act frustrated if I mix up names, events, or places. Take a deep breath. It’s not my fault.
17. If I get dementia, make sure I always have my favorite music playing within earshot.
18. If I get dementia, and I like to pick up items and carry them around, help me return those items to their original place.
19. If I get dementia, don’t exclude me from parties and family gatherings.
20. If I get dementia, know that I still like receiving hugs or handshakes.
21. If I get dementia, remember that I am still the person you know and love.”

ᴄᴏᴘʏ ᴀɴᴅ ᴘᴀsᴛᴇ in Honor of someone you know or knew who has dementia. In Honor of all those I know and love and lost who are fighting Dementia/Alzheimer’s.

June is Alzheimer’s Awareness Month…you’re never more aware than when this disease hits your family!

17/05/2024

02/09/2023

Being a carer means you carry immense responsibility & very little authority. You step into people's lives and make a difference. Some bless you, others curse you, some will even assault you....You see people at their worst & best. You see life through to the end. You see people's capacity for love, courage, & endurance. You are lucky to make it to the toilet more than once in a shift, luckier still to get a break...It's International carers Week. Paste to your status if you are a carer, love a carer or appreciate a carer💙

16/05/2023

Today marks the start of Dementia Awareness week in the UK. I strongly believe this is something that needs awareness all year round but it seemed like a fitting time to share this again today.
Sending love, peace and compassion to anyone dealing with this - either directly or whilst caring for a loved one. Be kind to yourself.

*******************************

When I am older
I might not remember
I might get confused
And I might lose my temper

And there may be times
When I don’t know your name
Because it’s been trapped,
Locked away in my brain

And though it will hurt
To think I could forget you
Offer me smiles,
Hold my hand if I’ll let you

And talk of adventures
We had long ago
Show me the photos
Of people I know

Play music we’ve danced to
And songs we have sung
Read me the books I read
When I was young

‘Cause your voice and your words
Might just be the key
That opens the door -
That unlocks it for me

And maybe the music
Will spark tiny embers
Of memories dormant
And I will remember

Your name and your face
And the words to our song
The times and the places
To which I’ve belonged

And it might last moments
Or minutes or more
As the fire sheds light
Through the crack in the door

But when the door closes
And gone are the flames
When you are once more
A stranger again

Just know you’ll have stirred something
Deep down inside
Something familiar
That I recognise

Something that’s real
That’s not stored in my head
But right at the core
Of my heart space instead

Something that’s stirred
By your smiles and your stories
The touch of your hand
And the songs you sing for me

And though I’ll have no words to tell you
Just trust
That deep down inside
I’ll remember

I’m loved

17/02/2023

Copied from a friend’s FB page. So beautifully put and such wise words. It’s a tough illness for all.

💜💜💜
𝐼𝒻 𝐼 𝑔𝑒𝓉 𝒹𝑒𝓂𝑒𝓃𝓉𝒾𝒶,
I’d like my family to hang this wish list up on the wall where I live. I want them to remember these things:
𝐼𝒻 𝐼 𝑔𝑒𝓉 𝒹𝑒𝓂𝑒𝓃𝓉𝒾𝒶, I want my friends and family to embrace my reality. If I think my spouse is still alive, or if I think we’re visiting my parents for dinner, let me believe those things. I’ll be much happier for it.
𝐼𝒻 𝐼 𝑔𝑒𝓉 𝒹𝑒𝓂𝑒𝓃𝓉𝒾𝒶, don’t argue with me about what is true for me versus what is true for you.
𝐼𝒻 𝐼 𝑔𝑒𝓉 𝒹𝑒𝓂𝑒𝓃𝓉𝒾𝒶, and I am not sure who you are, do not take it personally. My timeline is confusing to me.
𝐼𝒻 𝐼 𝑔𝑒𝓉 𝒹𝑒𝓂𝑒𝓃𝓉𝒾𝒶, and can no longer use utensils, do not start feeding me. Instead, switch me to a finger-food diet, and see if I can still feed myself.
𝐼𝒻 𝐼 𝑔𝑒𝓉 𝒹𝑒𝓂𝑒𝓃𝓉𝒾𝒶, and I am sad or anxious, hold my hand and listen. Do not tell me that my feelings are unfounded.
𝐼𝒻 𝐼 𝑔𝑒𝓉 𝒹𝑒𝓂𝑒𝓃𝓉𝒾𝒶, I don’t want to be treated like a child. Talk to me like the adult that I am.
𝐼𝒻 𝐼 𝑔𝑒𝓉 𝒹𝑒𝓂𝑒𝓃𝓉𝒾𝒶, I still want to enjoy the things that I’ve always enjoyed. Help me find a way to exercise, read, and visit with friends.
𝐼𝒻 𝐼 𝑔𝑒𝓉 𝒹𝑒𝓂𝑒𝓃𝓉𝒾𝒶, ask me to tell you a story from my past.
𝐼𝒻 𝐼 𝑔𝑒𝓉 𝒹𝑒𝓂𝑒𝓃𝓉𝒾𝒶, and I become agitated, take the time to figure out what is bothering me.
𝐼𝒻 𝐼 𝑔𝑒𝓉 𝒹𝑒𝓂𝑒𝓃𝓉𝒾𝒶, treat me the way that you would want to be treated.
𝐼𝒻 𝐼 𝑔𝑒𝓉 𝒹𝑒𝓂𝑒𝓃𝓉𝒾𝒶, make sure that there are plenty of snacks for me in the house. Even now if I don’t eat I get angry, and if I have dementia, I may have trouble explaining what I need.
𝐼𝒻 𝐼 𝑔𝑒𝓉 𝒹𝑒𝓂𝑒𝓃𝓉𝒾𝒶, don’t talk about me as if I’m not in the room.
𝐼𝒻 𝐼 𝑔𝑒𝓉 𝒹𝑒𝓂𝑒𝓃𝓉𝒾𝒶, don’t feel guilty if you cannot care for me 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It’s not your fault, and you’ve done your best. Find someone who can help you, or choose a great new place for me to live.
𝐼𝒻 𝐼 𝑔𝑒𝓉 𝒹𝑒𝓂𝑒𝓃𝓉𝒾𝒶, and I live in a dementia care community, please visit me often.
𝐼𝒻 𝐼 𝑔𝑒𝓉 𝒹𝑒𝓂𝑒𝓃𝓉𝒾𝒶, don’t act frustrated if I mix up names, events, or places. Take a deep breath. It’s not my fault.
𝐼𝒻 𝐼 𝑔𝑒𝓉 𝒹𝑒𝓂𝑒𝓃𝓉𝒾𝒶, make sure I always have my favorite music playing within earshot.
𝐼𝒻 𝐼 𝑔𝑒𝓉 𝒹𝑒𝓂𝑒𝓃𝓉𝒾𝒶, and I like to pick up items and carry them around, help me return those items to their original places.
𝐼𝒻 𝐼 𝑔𝑒𝓉 𝒹𝑒𝓂𝑒𝓃𝓉𝒾𝒶, don’t exclude me from parties and family gatherings.
𝐼𝒻 𝐼 𝑔𝑒𝓉 𝒹𝑒𝓂𝑒𝓃𝓉𝒾𝒶, know that I still like receiving hugs or handshakes.
𝐼𝒻 𝐼 𝑔𝑒𝓉 𝒹𝑒𝓂𝑒𝓃𝓉𝒾𝒶, remember that I am still the person you know and love.”

ᴄᴏᴘʏ ᴀɴᴅ ᴘᴀsᴛᴇ in Honour of someone you know or knew who has dementia. In Honour of all those I know and love fighting Dementia/Alzheimer’s.

28/10/2021

Remember the clocks go back 1 hour at 2am on the last Sunday in October (31st). An extra hour in bed 👍👍

21/10/2021

An invite from Marlow Age Concern:

Marlow Age Concern are opening our doors to our wonderful community on Saturday the 30th of October between 10.00 and 2.00 we would love everyone to come along for tea/coffee and cake to meet our volunteers and guests and to see what we do here at MAC, we are always looking for more guests and volunteers so this is an ideal time to pay us a visit.
Maybe you’re still a bit worried about mixing with people? We can put your mind at ease.
Bring friends, family, neighbours and we look forward to meeting you.

31/12/2020

Wishing you all a very happy 2021, it’s certainly got to be a better year than this year ! Stay safe ❤️

05/08/2020

This especially poignant as Dame Barbara Windsor is admitted to a care home. She looks absolutely marvellous for her age and yet she no longer recognises her husband. So many years stolen away.
Someone once said when you love someone with dementia you lose them more and more everyday. When they are diagnosed, when they go through different stages, when they go into care and when they die. 😢 This is called “Ambiguous Loss.”
‘Rapidly shrinking brain’ is how doctors described it. I wouldn't wish Dementia on anyone. As the persons brain slowly dies, they change physically and eventually forget who their loved ones are.
They can eventually become bedridden, unable to move and unable to eat or drink.💔
There will be people who will scroll by this message because dementia has not touched them. They may not know what it's like to have a loved one who has fought or is fighting a battle against Dementia.
To raise awareness of this cruel disease, I would appreciate it if my friends could put this on your page for today.
Hold your finger anywhere on the message to copy and paste to your Timeline.💛💛💛
Thank you💕💕💕
For all those that have had friends or have family members living with Dementia 😞😘😘😘⚘⚘⚘💜💜💜 A Special Thank you to all willing to post to their time line.