Dr Melita Ash - Percuro Psychology

Dr Melita Ash - Percuro Psychology Contact information, map and directions, contact form, opening hours, services, ratings, photos, videos and announcements from Dr Melita Ash - Percuro Psychology, Psychologist, Huntbridge Hall, Matlock Grn, Matlock, DE4 3BX, Matlock.

Consultant Clinical Psychologist

đź’« Specialist in anxiety & school avoidance in teens | Parenting support | Assessments | Therapy | Workshops
👤 Derbyshire & online
👇 Parent webinars

Email [email protected]
Tel 07754 439891

We talk a lot about the importance of parents staying regulated when their teenager is struggling.And yes, it matters.Bu...
10/08/2026

We talk a lot about the importance of parents staying regulated when their teenager is struggling.

And yes, it matters.

But I think we need to be careful that “regulation” doesn’t become yet another thing parents feel they are getting wrong.

Because you are not a neutral observer of your teenager’s distress.

You might be the person being woken at 2am. The person taking the calls from school. The person absorbing the anger, holding the uncertainty, rearranging work, researching support, worrying about the future and trying to make decisions when nobody seems able to tell you what the right decision is.

Your nervous system is in this too.

And that’s why I’m much more interested in helping parents build capacity than teaching them that they should simply be calmer.

Capacity includes noticing what is happening in you. Recognising when you’re reaching your limit. Knowing when to pause. Being able to repair when things don’t go as you hoped. Having somewhere to put your own fear and frustration. And, crucially, having enough support around you that you’re not expected to carry all of this alone.

Because sometimes the problem isn’t that you need to become better at coping.

Sometimes you are being asked to carry too much.
And I think we need to talk about that more.

💛 Save this for the days when your own capacity feels stretched — or send it to a parent who needs to hear it.

03/08/2026

Comparison can feel like proof that you’re failing.

But I don’t think that’s what’s really happening.

I think many parents of anxious autistic teenagers become more vulnerable to comparison because the very things that once gave us connection often disappear as our children get older.

The school gate conversations.
The chats after football.
The birthday parties.

The little moments where we realised other families were finding things hard too.

At the same time, we’re surrounded by messages about what a “successful” adolescence should look like.

🎓 GCSEs.
đźš— Driving lessons.
đź’Ľ First jobs.
🎉 Busy social lives.

When your teenager’s path looks different, it’s so easy to wonder if they’re falling behind... or if you’ve somehow got it wrong.

But here’s the thing...

Those milestones tell us remarkably little about how a young person is actually doing.

Other questions to ask might be….

đź’š Do they feel emotionally safe?
đź’š Do they know they are accepted for who they are?
đź’š Are they beginning to understand themselves?
đź’š Are they building a life that fits them?

Those are the foundations that matter.

If comparison has been creeping in this summer, I wonder if the answer isn’t to try harder or push your teenager further.

Perhaps it’s to find people who remind you that your family’s journey doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s.

I’d love to know...

Have you ever found yourself comparing your teenager’s journey to others? What helped you come back to your own path? 💚

Comparison can be such a thief of hope.It whispers that everyone else’s teenager is moving forwards while yours is stand...
02/08/2026

Comparison can be such a thief of hope.

It whispers that everyone else’s teenager is moving forwards while yours is standing still.

But we rarely see the whole picture.

We don’t see the energy it took for your teen simply to leave the house.

We don’t see the courage it took to attend one appointment.

We don’t see the hours you’ve spent learning, adapting and staying alongside them when things felt impossibly hard.

Progress doesn’t only look like GCSEs, driving lessons, jobs or university applications.

Sometimes progress is feeling safer.

Trusting a little more.

Recovering a little quicker.

Or simply surviving a season that once would have felt impossible.

💚 If comparison has found you this summer, I hope you’ll remember this:

Your teenager isn’t behind. They’re on their own journey. And the right journey is the one they’re on.

Save this for when you need the reminder ❤️

28/07/2026

Have you ever felt like your teenager was coping… and then suddenly everything unravelled?

What often changes is the gap between the demands being placed on them and the capacity they have to meet those demands.

As children move into adolescence, life asks much more of them.
• Friendships become more complex.
• School expects greater organisation and independence.
• Sensory environments become busier.
• There are more transitions, more uncertainty and more pressure to fit in.

For many autistic teenagers, these demands increase far more quickly than their capacity can.

That’s creates a demand-capacity gap.

When that gap becomes too wide, we often see:
đź’š Anxiety
đź’š Exhaustion
đź’š Meltdowns or shutdowns
đź’š School avoidance
đź’š Withdrawal
💚 Feeling like things have “gone backwards”

But these aren’t signs that your teenager is failing.

They’re signs that life is asking more than their nervous system can comfortably manage right now.

And that’s an important difference.

Because instead of asking,
“How do I get them to cope better?”
we can begin asking,
“What demands could be reduced?”
“What capacity could be supported?”
“How can I help create a better fit between my teenager and the world they’re navigating?”

That shift changes everything.

It replaces blame with understanding.
Fear with clarity.
And often helps parents feel calmer and more confident in how they respond.

❤️ Follow for support, insight and understanding in parenting your anxious autistic teen

27/07/2026

Have you ever felt like your teenager was coping… and then suddenly everything unravelled?

What often changes is the gap between the demands being placed on them and the capacity they have to meet those demands.

As children move into adolescence, life asks much more of them.
• Friendships become more complex.
• School expects greater organisation and independence.
• Sensory environments become busier.
• There are more transitions, more uncertainty and more pressure to fit in.

For many autistic teenagers, these demands increase far more quickly than their capacity can.

That’s creates a demand-capacity gap.

When that gap becomes too wide, we often see:
đź’š Anxiety
đź’š Exhaustion
đź’š Meltdowns or shutdowns
đź’š School avoidance
đź’š Withdrawal
💚 Feeling like things have “gone backwards”

But these aren’t signs that your teenager is failing.

They’re signs that life is asking more than their nervous system can comfortably manage right now.

And that’s an important difference.

Because instead of asking,
“How do I get them to cope better?”
we can begin asking,
“What demands could be reduced?”
“What capacity could be supported?”
“How can I help create a better fit between my teenager and the world they’re navigating?”

That shift changes everything.

It replaces blame with understanding.
Fear with clarity.
And often helps parents feel calmer and more confident in how they respond.

❤️ Save this for the days when it feels like your teenager has “gone backwards.” They probably haven’t.

👇 I’d love to know, what demand seems to drain your teenager the most at the moment?

Are you wondering why your child has become more anxious as they’ve hit adolescence? Feeling lost in how to support them...
25/07/2026

Are you wondering why your child has become more anxious as they’ve hit adolescence? Feeling lost in how to support them?

I talk about this super important topic in the latest of a 3 episode podcast series I recorded with InSpirrall

Comment “Anxiety” and I’ll send you the link.

And if this is what you’re experiencing right now, join my newsletter (link in bio) to be the first to hear about my next run of my extremely popular parent webinar “When Autism & Anxiety Meet Adolescence” where we will take a deeper dive into this topic, to help you to really understand what is happening beneath the surface, to help you feel confident and clear in supporting your child during this important developmental stage 👍

If this post resonates, I want you to know this.It’s okay to grieve.You’re not just grieving missed exams. You’re grievi...
20/07/2026

If this post resonates, I want you to know this.

It’s okay to grieve.

You’re not just grieving missed exams. You’re grieving years of struggle, the expectations you once held, and the uncertainty of not knowing what comes next.

GCSEs are an important milestone within our education system. They can open doors. But they were never designed to define the value of a human being.

I’ve worked with many autistic young people whose anxiety, burnout or school distress meant they couldn’t access exams at sixteen. Some took qualifications later. Some found different educational routes. Some discovered strengths that weren’t recognised in a traditional classroom.

The common thread wasn’t that they all followed the same path.

It was that, once their wellbeing came first, they were able to begin moving forwards again.

If your teenager didn’t sit their GCSEs this year, they haven’t missed their only chance.

Their journey is simply unfolding on a different timetable.

And while that timetable may not be the one you imagined, it can still lead somewhere meaningful.

If you’re carrying that quiet grief today, you’re not alone. 🤍

One of the less talked about parts of parenting adolescence is grief.Because the way you love them has to change.You can...
18/07/2026

One of the less talked about parts of parenting adolescence is grief.

Because the way you love them has to change.

You can’t protect them from every friendship difficulty, every misunderstanding, every disappointment or every anxious moment.

And for many parents, especially those raising autistic teenagers, that helplessness can feel enormous.

I see parents carrying guilt because they can’t make things better.

But perhaps the question isn’t “How do I stop my child from hurting?”
Perhaps it’s “How do I help them know they’re not alone when life hurts?”

Your teenager doesn’t need a parent who can fix everything.
They need someone who stays emotionally available, even when the answers aren’t obvious.

Sometimes, that steady relationship becomes the very thing that helps them find their own strength.

So, by loving them and remaining present, you’re already doing an amazing job, even when it doesn’t feel that way.

💙 If this resonates, you’re not alone.

16/07/2026

Some reflections from my holiday with my children, two of whom are neurodivergent. I always talk about emotional connection with your child being THE MOST IMPORTANT thing. It is, but connection isn’t just achieved through hanging out together or talking about feelings. It can also be about seeing, naming and meeting your child’s needs.

Tell me, what is something unexpected that happened recently that helped you and your child to emotionally connect?

Address

Huntbridge Hall, Matlock Grn, Matlock, DE4 3BX
Matlock
DE43FD

Opening Hours

Monday 4pm - 7pm
Tuesday 9am - 5pm
Wednesday 9am - 5pm
Thursday 9am - 8pm
Friday 9am - 5pm
Saturday 9am - 5pm

Telephone

+447754439891

Website

Alerts

Be the first to know and let us send you an email when Dr Melita Ash - Percuro Psychology posts news and promotions. Your email address will not be used for any other purpose, and you can unsubscribe at any time.

Contact The Practice

Send a message to Dr Melita Ash - Percuro Psychology:

Shortcuts

Share

Category