Clear Water Therapy

06/06/2026

Shame and Guilt ~ emotions we can’t escape.

Shame tells us - “I am a bad person”
Guilt tells us - “I did a bad thing”

Both emotions are ones that we would do anything to avoid feeling.

Most of us experienced shame and guilt for the first time as a small child, not because our parents were bad but because they unwittingly passed on their own learnings. It didn’t feel good and the memory stays with us.

Often it’s this memory that begins to form the unconscious rules and assumptions we have about ourself, and eventually our limiting beliefs.

Our earliest memories are made up of sound, smell and sensation. They might not be remembered in a conventional story telling way but they can play a significant part in these emotions taking hold for the long term, even when you don’t understand where they have come from.

When we re experience shame and guilt the message to feel that same sensation is sent and those unconscious negative beliefs are triggered once more. The only way to move on from difficult emotions is to be brave enough to face them, and with help begin to understand and accept them for what they are.

It’s important to know that every emotion serves a purpose, when we feel the feelings we realise they all bring an important message that will help us to heal. Then we can work on creating new, more helpful, beliefs about ourself which will help us to live a happier and more fulfilling life.

It normal to feels all the feels, including shame and guilt, you’re human, you’re not alone. The power is in how you learn to ride the ebb and flow, how you make sense of it all and ultimately learn to come back.

You have the power to heal generational pain, you can’t run away from emotion. By shining the light on shame and guilt it looses its power over you, it’s then that you can move on from it.

Remember there is no one thing that can define you. Shame and guilt can feel painful, but you are more than one experience. Find self compassion by asking yourself “what would I say to a friend…” we are all capable of making mistakes, wrong choices, reacting in ways that we wish we could change, or doing something ‘bad’. But none of that makes you a bad person, you are so much more.

05/06/2026

I am a positive person when....
complete the sentence ~ what really makes you feel good?

Try writing down 3-5 things that take away from you, what or who depletes your energy and lowers your vibe?

Now write down 3-5 things that fill you back up, what or who brings you lightness and joy, increasing your vibe and helping you stay in a more positive place?

Show yourself love and choose to do more from the second list.

Begin to think about how you can reduce, remove or adapt what you have on your first list and give more of your time to the things and people that bring you joy.

When you’re in a positive place the ups and downs of life feel easier to manage.

Tasks like this help you to connect to yourself. By getting to know yourself better you take steps towards loving yourself more.

04/06/2026

Acknowledge it, allow yourself to sit with it - for a little while. If only to remind yourself that all things pass.

No emotion, no thought, no reality lasts forever.

Sometimes things will feel great and sometimes things won't. Sometimes we will wish for it to be over and sometimes we will wish we could stay in a moment forever.

Both are part of being human. Without one the other can't exist.

01/06/2026

They asked her,

"How do you get through tough moments?"

She answered

"Do not trust the way you see yourself when your mind is turbulent and remember that even pain is temporary.

Honor your boundaries, treat yourself gently, let go of perfection, and feel your emotions without letting them control you.

You have enough experience to face the storm and evolve from it."

Yyung pueblo I resilience

I learnt that what our mind tells us when we aren't ok is distorted.

In my own journey I learnt that those moments don't last. And I learnt that if I wrote myself a note with a more accurate reflection of truth then I could go back to that note.

There are always moments no matter how fleeting when emotion would pass and thoughts would clear, I learnt to utilise that moment.

Then I could read my own words when the noise would return, as I knew it would. Even if I couldn't believe those words when I revisited them I would be reminded that they had been my truth when I had written them.

I believed them then and I would again. When this moment passes, I was reminded that it would. And that was enough.

Don't trust your mind in its worst moments.

01/06/2026

This is so very difficult for us to do, if your struggling to sit with it know that your not alone.

We run with distraction, avoid with adrenaline, use s*x, substances, work, exercise, anything that helps us to feel a sense of control or numbs the pain but no matter where you go or what you do it will remain with you until you surrender. Until you sit with it, until you’re prepared to feel the pain in order to heal from your deepest wounds.

Your not alone in wanting to run, but you don’t have to. If it’s too scary or hard to sit with it yourself then sit with someone who can hold a space that’s safe, that won’t try to rescue you or fix anything but will offer you something so much more, reflection.

When it feels like your stuck in the void stay there a while, be still, be silent, be broken. It’s here that you will heal, grow, rebuild and rise again.

Don’t be afraid of what might be because when you come out the other end it will be better than you ever imagined it could be.

29/05/2026

We are relational creatures, we need safe and close connections with other people to be able to thrive.

It’s not that we simply need people around us, it’s that we need people around us that we can connect with on a deep level. Who feel safe to us. It’s only here that we find comfort.

Working on your relationship with yourself is fundamental but not inclusive to achieving this. Being able to understand your attachment needs and how you can work on building a secure sense of self allows you to open up, communicate and deepen your most significant connections.

People come to therapy for many reasons, however we will almost always complete some level of work on relational experiences. How clients learnt to relate within early experiences, how that manifests itself in current relationships and the overall sense of self.

Fundamentally our relational experiences sit at the core of it all.

You can find me at:

https://www.clearwatertherapy.uk/

https://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/counsellors/gemma-karami

Or DM “therapy” to learn more.

28/05/2026

Today I came across a reflection I’d written myself a few years ago when I felt the full weight of something I was going through. It reminded me of the journey of change.

𝐻𝒶𝓅𝓅𝒾𝓃𝑒𝓈𝓈 𝒾𝓈 𝒻𝑜𝓊𝓃𝒹 𝒾𝓃 𝓁𝑒𝓉𝓉𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝑔𝑜 𝑜𝒻 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝑒𝓍𝓅𝑒𝒸𝓉𝒶𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃 𝑜𝒻 𝓌𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓉𝒽𝑜𝓊𝑔𝒽𝓉 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝓁𝒾𝒻𝑒 𝓌𝑜𝓊𝓁𝒹 𝒷𝑒 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝑒𝓂𝒷𝓇𝒶𝒸𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝓁𝒾𝒻𝑒 𝒶𝓈 𝒾𝓉 𝒾𝓈.
𝒪𝓃𝓁𝓎 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓃 𝓌𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓈𝑒𝑒 𝒶𝓁𝓁 𝒾𝓉𝓈 𝓅𝑜𝓈𝓈𝒾𝒷𝒾𝓁𝒾𝓉𝒾𝑒𝓈.

I’ve explored the weight of expectation here before, it’s not new. It’s easy to recognise that expectation leads to comparison, discontentment and sadness.

The sense that your life should be something else leaves no space for you to recognise the gifts that you do have.

I realise that happiness is often found in letting go of the expectation and embracing the reality of the now. I believe that only then will you see all of its possibilities.

Once you let go of the expectation of what you should be, should have, should feel you make room for opportunity. You open yourself to gratitude and happiness in other ways and release disappointment and the often aching sense of loss that you otherwise may have clung to. It’s the holding on that’s keeping you stuck.

However I also realise that this is something that you will often have to remind yourself of. We will all experience the weight of change more than once. Sometimes it will be welcomed or expected and other times it will not. Life isn’t and will never be linear.

It’s ok to have times of feeling discomfort, to experience a range of emotion, the sensation of your experiences.

By noticing where you feel discomfort in your body you can move through the experience, you can perhaps name your experience as loss, grief, disappointment, hurt, sadness or anything else that may be relevant. And in the act of doing so you allow this to move through you.

This is how you let go, and the reward is space. Space for something else, something more positive, more beautiful and more aligned to your own values, needs and wants.

It’s not that you’re not deserving of the grand expectations you put on yourself or your life. You are deserving of anything you dream of.

The power of reality lies in your hands alone.

If you spend too long mourning your losses you leave yourself no space to see or energy to engage in the other opportunities life offers you.

The way to let go is to feel into the discomfort, to allow yourself to name and move through the pain.

Remember it is this that creates space for something better.

25/05/2026

How does Clear Water Therapy speak to you?

I once heard a quote and fell in love with an idea. The dream of sung to me, but why?

Imagine for a moment that your standing in crystal clear water, it’s peaceful all around and the warm sunshine is on your face. You look down at the glistening surface of the calm water, your feet beneath you can be seen easily, perhaps there are small fish near by, a shell or a water plant, you can see it, you know what it is and therefore you know you are safe.

Now imagine muddy water, turbulent water. Your not able to see what’s going on beneath the surface and you can’t see you feet anymore. You feel something brush against you and you jump, perhaps lifting your feet out of the water, maybe you panic a little.

Why did you do this?

Your mind isn’t clear about what’s going on or if your in danger or not. It reacts by sending strong signals to your body and making you behave in a particular way. The part of you in control of this reaction is trying to keep you safe without understanding the facts.

The only difference in the two stories is the water, clear water that’s calm and comforting.

When you see clearly your unconscious mind doesn’t scare easily allowing you to enjoying the moment for what it truly is.

That’s what I created Clear Water Therapy to bring you. Empowering your unconscious mind, providing clarity to your thoughts and allowing you to enjoy the lapping water and the warm sunshine in the peaceful quiet of your own mind.

It’s in this story that name was born ❤️ why not dip your toes into the water when you next get the chance and allow your mind to come back to this story.

24/05/2026

23/05/2026

Not all thoughts need your attention.
Let it go.

And name that song....