Skylark End of Life Doula Cornwall

14/08/2026

Have you ever felt like an imposter if you are grieving for someone or something that wasn't one of your own 'loved ones'?
Do you feel that your grief wasn't/ isn't as valid and therefore you shouldn't be gentle with yourself or give yourself time?
Do you feel that in acknowledging your own pain that somehow this might make those who are closer feel you are negating their experience even if they aren't even aware of what you may be feeling?

We are all connected and most people will send ripples out throughout their lifetime impacting everyone whose life they touched. This can bring great comfort to the bereaved knowing their loved one was loved by many. But in this dance of death we don't want to stand on toes, come in at the wrong time or even bow out too soon.
Tender are the hearts and minds of those who are grieving and we often have to work by intuition and forgive clumsiness because when we lose someone we love our relationship to ourselves and to each other becomes fragile as we grapple with the change of our own personal landscapes.
How do we hold space for our personal losses and pay our respects without projecting our own grief on those closest?
In an ideal world we would simply share and hold each other up though our shared loss & sorrow. Traditionally community would gather but in today's fragmented world we often feel isolated. Being told we 'should' feel as it's healthy but having nowhere to.put those feelings.
What's your experience? And how would you like to change it (or not) in the future?

08/06/2026

When I came to working with the dying the Skylarks where I live became my mentors. Their famous song on the wing speaks of transcendence and escape from this earthly realm.
Yet these unassuming birds with a big voice often sing their hearts out on the ground too when protecting their nests. I find when I need grounding, when I need reminding that life and death is practical as well as poetic these little ones sing to me. This one sang for twenty. minutes on Saturday as I thought about someone dear to me preparing to go home.
They're not easy to see on the ground, they're not easy to see in the air either. Elusive yet loud they ask for trust as we know they are there even if we can't see. Like the way we have to navigate terminal illness and end of life it can feel as if we are looking but not seeing. That this life with it's multitude of layers is anchoring us to one reality but another is calling of us.
They remind us to keep talking, to know we can be grounded in life yet able to take flight and soar. They remind us that our song speaks to our people and they will see us whether we are grounded in this reality or soaring high above.
I find my solace in nature. Where do you find yours?

19/05/2026

I've just drove past a van saying The Home Farewell Vet and I had to pull over. My immediate reaction was compassion for whoever they were seeing but quickly I was overcome by tears of sorrow.
My own beautiful boy Bramble died 9 years ago and there's not moment I wished it hadn't had to be done in the vets surgery which he hated. It's one of my life's biggest regrets and despite the love in his eyes as I held him as he passed I will never not wish he could have died at home.
I vaguely remember the cost was too high for the vets to come back then and I was unaware of services such as this.
It doesn't matter whether human or animal I truly believe we make a soul connection with those we love and services and like this are invaluable.

https://www.thehomefarewellvet.co.uk/about-us?gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=23014375872&gclid=Cj0KCQjwlLDQBhDjARIsAPlIefF0q14RpKN5nbTSitfsSpMTPaBmN5ZKzdi1GcMnHkwxV-KZUB_bnmQaAp4JEALw_wcB

18/05/2026

The amazing Ren putting into song how I feel about death. Does this speak to you?

17/05/2026

Often when I am out in nature I see something that makes me think. When I took this photo it made me wonder about what's termed 'terminal lucidity ' or 'end of life rally'.
It's a relatively common occurrence, sometimes put down to delirium through pain or drugs but more often than not seems to be the beginning of transition.
Like this photo I guess the immediate surroundings are a bit of a blur but just 'over there' becomes clear and light filled. People can physically reach out to something unseen or talk about 'having to go' or see long dead loved ones.
Have you experienced this kind of thing? Often if we understand what is happening it can bring peace but if we don't talk about these things it can seem frightening and loved ones fear for their dying person.

10/05/2026

What a phenomenal response I've had this week as we talked about death and dying on my photo page. Thankyou to everyone that's joined in and shared their stories and all those who have taken the time to listen to others. It's been beautiful. Thankyou ❤️

As the sun set tonight at the end of I just wanted to say a mahoosive thankyou to everyone who has got involved and all those who have quietly watched the conversation unfolding.
I said at the beginning of the week we kind of created the world's biggest Death Cafe where we've shared stories and listened to others share theirs. It's been enlightening, heartwarming & heartrending. We have created a heart space where we felt at ease enough to talk about those things we generally put in a box and try not to think about.
Facebook is sometimes a pain...full of ads and crap we don't want to see but the theme of Dying Matters this year was let's talk about death and dying. And by eck people we have talked! (FB does do brilliant stats for nerds like me)
Seven posts since Monday have been viewed 70,436 times. With engagement (likes, shares, comments) at 5774 and 295 stand alone comments where YOU shared your stories. THANKYOU!
I've learnt so much from you guys this week. I know you're all here for my photos and reels of Newquay so it means so much that you trusted this space and me to get involved. And though I will, as my alter ego Skylark End of Life Doula Cornwall use this huge platform I've built as the Maid to keep conversation up now and again but for now you can all breathe a sigh of relief that it won't be daily lol 😉🥰
Thanks again you lovely people xx

End of Life Doula UK

09/05/2026

Another conversation as we talk about this Dying Matters awareness week.

09/05/2026

Good morning. I posted this yesterday and forgot to share. For me nature teaches, reflects and holds me at the edge state of being. What resource do you use to help when you are in that liminal space?

Throughout the seasons I see the seapinks standing proud on cliff edges..their delicate yet tough flowers and grasses weathering all the elements life throws at them. They thrive in that threshold space which is in constant change, surviving storms, erosion and draught.
As we move into day 5 of they remind me of what the remarkable Joan Halifax refers to the "Edge State" of Resilience: She defines resilience as the ability to return to a baseline state of balance, even when feeling the deep pain of others. Compassion allows people to stay engaged at "the edge" of suffering without falling into despair or pathological altruism.
We all at some point will lose a loved one. There are millions of people whose every day work is caring for the sick, dying and our dead. Every single day they, like the sea pinks, are living in an edge state, where their compassion (hopefully) will guide them to do their work well and to give them resilience to maintain balance in the face of life's storms.
As I think about death and dying and how the world meets us at that most emotional of times I want to ask you guys how you look after yourself when you're in that edge state, either caring, working with, living with or facing death yourself? I throw myself even more into nature and immerse myself in the joy of the moment knowing it'll change.

https://buymeacoffee.com/jfkuc3t8ce
Copyright Maid in Newquay 2026 All rights reserved


End of Life Doula UK Dying Matters
Skylark End of Life Doula Cornwall

07/05/2026

Once be again I am sharing my own posts to keep the conversation going in

What would you have on a gravestone or as an epitaph?

Seen on a gravestone...
Remember friend, as you pass by, as you are now, so once was I. As I am now, so you must be. Prepare yourself to follow me.”

It's Dying Matters and I am continuing to talk about death and dying. I always said if I were to have a gravestone (I am not) it would say 'I told you was ill!' 😂

What would your epitaph be?


Skylark End of Life Doula Cornwall

06/05/2026

Good evening lovely people. Just sharing my post with today's something to think and talk about conversation starter.

Where would you like to die and why?

Good evening lovely people! Checking in at 5.10pm this Wednesday evening.

Continuing the theme 'lets talk about death & dying for ' I wanted to ask you if you had thought about and maybe discussed with loved ones your preferred location of death?
Studies show that 75% of people would like to die at home but these numbers direct from the government website show that is far from the case...
Hospital is the most common place of death (42.8%)
Home (28.4%),
Care home (21.0%),
Hospice (5.2%)
Other places (2.6%)

Where would you like to die and why?

https://buymeacoffee.com/jfkuc3t8ce
Copyright Maid in Newquay 2026 All rights reserved


End of Life Doula UK
Skylark End of Life Doula Cornwall