Jonathan Hills Level 7 Qualified Counselling

Jonathan Hills Level 7 Qualified Counselling ☆ Specialising in emotional struggles and complex relationship patterns 🦋 All Welcome ✨️
📍 Nottingham & Online
🔗 Available, book yourself in ↓

UKCP Trainee Psychotherapist, member number 2011185407. I've completed >600 core training hours in Transactional Analysis Psychotherapy at The Berne Institute on a UKCP-accredited training programme. I'm accruing client hours towards the Level 7 Postgraduate Diploma and UKCP Registration in Humanistic & Integrative Psychotherapy. Since 2024 I've volunteered for the charity Clean Slate 1197726 who support abuse survivors. In January 2026 I've launched my psychotherapy Private Practice.

Thursday Positive Octopus 🐙 Might become a weekly feature 💁‍♀️
03/09/2026

Thursday Positive Octopus 🐙 Might become a weekly feature 💁‍♀️

31/08/2026

a little introduction to me ☺️ On the stairs, as you do.

"Sit with your feelings" can be unsafe advice 🔥 Depending on the person, what they're experiencing and what the interven...
28/08/2026

"Sit with your feelings" can be unsafe advice 🔥 Depending on the person, what they're experiencing and what the intervention is aiming to achieve.

The "sit with" or "stay with" your feelings originates from Gestalt psychotherapy and it's intended to be used in context of 'unfinished business' involving suppressed, dissociated, avoided, deflected, intellectualised, uncomfortable, feelings. And hence the advice to "sit with your feelings" for those who aren't literate or practiced at accessing difficult feelings (probably for good protective reasons dating far back into their history) is encouraging of opening up and intensifying the full range of feelings that we're born with and make us human.

However... where it can be really unsafe advice is for those who are already accessing intense, overwhelming, unstable, extreme ranges of feeling. In this instance, encouraging a person to "sit with their feelings" risks further heightening extreme emotions further out of regulation and out of control.

Instead, what is needed here is encouraging distress tolerance and emotional regulation, as used in ACT or DBT, which means applying healthy methods and skills to survive, lower the emotional intensity, and intervene early to 'manage' intense emotions day-to-day. Then in the longer term, Gestalt and humanistic therapies are helpful in establishing the underlying cause and making deeper changes for a person to feel better at the original source, which then requires less 'tools' & 'skills' day-to-day.

So, "sit with your feelings" has a valid purpose in the right context but it needs to be used with care 🔥

How AI Assistants fulfil our relational needs 🤖 It makes perfect sense from a relational needs perspective that people t...
23/08/2026

How AI Assistants fulfil our relational needs 🤖 It makes perfect sense from a relational needs perspective that people turn to AI Assistants for help, advice and support. Some people are doing this because they don't have a wise dependable reliable human to turn to, which means there is a deficit in their relational needs which AI is stepping in to fulfil in a way that seems 'ideal' and is therefore quite alluring.

An AI Assistant is always available; it can access vast information to provide knowledgeable answers in a way that seems like wisdom; and it is non-judgmental, safe, won't shame or criticise, never says 'No' and never asks for anything in return. In this way it forms an idealised one-way companion that surpasses what anyone could reasonably expect from the most patient wise available human.

Except... sometimes the facade slips. Unless explicitly told to, an AI Assistant does not know who you are and will not remember important facts about you, or will forget important context mid-conversation. So at some point, a disconnect occurs; a break in the trusting attachment that was forming; where the AI Assistant reveals that it has no idea who you are and, despite its relational behaviour, it was actually never in-relationship with you at all.

Also, sometimes it will hallucinate answers; it will lie and defend itself when it hits technical limitations that it doesn't want to disclose; and it will change its tone or how it formats answers on consecutive days. This leads to an 'inconsistency' in the 'wise dependable reliable' illusion that makes it seem like 'a different person', and much less safe, reliable and predictable. It undermines itself and it isn't consistent or trustworthy enough to maintain the illusion of the perfect companion.

So in some ways an AI Assistant can be very helpful and is always available to offer help & advice in a way that humans are frequently not. But it needs to be held firmly in clear reality that there is no relationship with an AI Assistant. From a therapeutic perspective it is not a safe way to try and fulfil a deficit in relational needs. It is just a tool that can sometimes be very helpful.

The downward spiral into despair can be turned around, into an upward spiral 🌀🙏 It's common in difficult times for thing...
20/08/2026

The downward spiral into despair can be turned around, into an upward spiral 🌀🙏 It's common in difficult times for things to only spiral downwards into getting worse. Self-criticism kicks in. Self-esteem and confidence suffers. Shame surfaces. Doubt creeps in. And when these occur, it makes a person feel worse, which repeats this cycle, making them feel worse, and so on, spiralling downwards.

However, in being aware of this process unfolding, it's possible to put a stop to it and reverse it 💫

Slowly, slowly, with gentle steps, it's possible to take a small step back up the spiral. It can start with any kind of small win, or a small thing going well, or a small task completed. But if this first step is recognised, celebrated and rewarded it provides the flicker of hope, energy and confidence that can then be converted towards taking the next small step, which can be similarly converted into taking the next small step, and so on. Gradually, it is possible to climb back out of the dark place at the bottom of the spiral.

Getting on a bit of a roll is great. If things start to go better, this momentum can be maintained. It might take discipline, vigilance and effort to keep going. But once that upward momentum starts, it becomes easier to climb up the spiral. It just needed that one small step and the determination to get started.

And of course there will be setbacks. Not every day will be an upward step. And that's fine, some days can just be a day of self-care, being gentle, holding the current position, keeping the self-criticism at bay. It's important not to catastrophise, and firmly keep the overall progress in context, and not believe that every setback is a return to rock bottom. Because it's not.

This is one of the ways in which therapy can be really helpful, is that there is a trained person supporting you with the oversight of the path upwards, who can see the bigger picture and provide the support and reassurance that you just need to keep going, you're doing great, there is hope, and you're on the path to better times. 🖤 💫

hey, I'm Jon. I specialise in emotional struggles and complex relationship patterns. I work with individual adults and I...
19/08/2026

hey, I'm Jon. I specialise in emotional struggles and complex relationship patterns. I work with individual adults and I also work with couples on complicated relationship dynamics that typically involve big feelings, strong defences and a mix of attachment styles.

So, if you are someone who finds big emotions or over-thinking difficult; or you find relationships difficult and you’re in a complicated situation, or have been in unstable or traumatic relationships in the past, then I’m here to help 🪷

I'm available in-person at several established Therapy Centres around Nottingham and I also work online across the UK. I offer a 20% discount on all types of session to support low-incomes, and I offer a much lower fee for online work than in-person.

Emotional Struggles might include:
• Anxiety, panic, overwhelm, over-thinking.
• Depression, sadness, grief, loneliness, despair.
• Obsession, idealising, addiction, paranoia.
• Perfectionism, self-criticism, shame, low self-worth.
• Identity confusion, defences, black & white thinking.
• Resentment, jealousy, envy, guilt, anger.

Complex Relationship Patterns might include:
• Domestic abuse; manipulation, gaslighting, narcissistic abuse & toxic behaviours.
• Trauma-bonds, betrayal, relational trauma, sexual violence, childhood trauma.
• Unstable relationships, situationships, uncertainty, breadcrumbing and inconsistency, self-abandonment, limerence.
• Unsafe or difficult people: limiting contact & setting boundaries.
• Emotional immaturity, unhealthy conflict, emotional reactiveness; integrity, accountability, safety and repair.
• Emotional unavailability, hyper-independence, withdrawal, avoidance, stonewalling.
• Anxious attachment, fearful-avoidance, co-dependency, people-pleasing, unmet needs.

All Welcome 🦋 I'm diversity-friendly and offer diversity-inclusive types of session including Walk & Talk, Home Visits and Telephone.

I have an appointment scheduling system that puts you in control of your bookings. You can flexibly cancel, change or add additional sessions, which puts you in control of your own therapeutic journey.

So, please do book yourself a Free Introduction Call on a day & time that suits you 🌻

www.jon-psychotherapy.co.uk

17/08/2026

When working with clients, in addition to looking at surface-level symptoms such as feeling anxious or depressed, I'm also looking to gently uncover the original causes for the symptoms that likely originate somewhere in past experiences. Then by attending to these underlying root causes a person can feel better in a lasting way, where the symptoms are lessened at their source, rather than needing to be reduced and managed after they've occurred 🙏

Let's give it a month or so 💁‍♀️
16/08/2026

Let's give it a month or so 💁‍♀️

Sometimes what we need is Hope. I'm a big fan of hope. Hope is powerful and can be the antidote to despair, or feeling d...
15/08/2026

Sometimes what we need is Hope. I'm a big fan of hope. Hope is powerful and can be the antidote to despair, or feeling depressed. I was very pleased on Netflix recently to see The Sandman beat Lucifer using Hope 💪

It sounds obvious, when said in words, but as a feeling Hope is the direct opposite of 'things are hopeless' or 'there is no hope'. Sometimes the hope isn't always obvious, but it is often there, or can be found; and it is rarely an accurate truth that things are hopeless. 🖤

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Nottingham

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+447464882790

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