Jonathan Hills Level 7 Qualified Counselling

24/06/2026

Fancied a swift half of erm... Dragon Blood 🐲 🩸 As you do 💁‍♀️

23/06/2026

Glimmers ✨️ Where are your 'glimmers' today? Deb Dana coined this term as 'the opposite of triggers', i.e. finding micro-moments of joy, safety or calm.

Looking for these every day is a nice way to offer ourselves, and teach ourselves, a different experience compared to feeling perpetually on-edge and out of regulation. ✨️

22/06/2026

hey I'm Jon. I specialise in supporting individuals with complex relationship issues and all kinds of emotional difficulties. If you are in a difficult situation or are finding daily life emotionally difficult then I'm here to help.

Complex relationship issues might include: domestic abuse; separations; situationships; emotional unavailability and avoidance; manipulation, narcissistic abuse and toxic behaviours; trauma-bonds; people-pleasing, co-dependency, boundary issues, etc.

Emotional difficulties might include: anxiety, depression, sadness, grief, obsession, addiction, shame, guilt, anger, loneliness, despair.

I'm qualified at Level 7 which means I have advanced competencies in understanding and getting to the underlying cause of complex problems, and then helping you find solutions and achieve your aims to feel better. This likely includes talking about attachment styles, self-esteem and shame, identity, boundaries with others, and building up emotional resilience.

I offer online-only counselling at an accessible, low-cost rate. I have discounted rates available.

I have online appointment scheduling to put clients in charge of their own schedule and bookings, including a free 20 minute consultation. So, please do book in for a chat on a day & time that suits you.

www.jon-psychotherapy.co.uk

Online low-cost counselling with Jonathan Hills, Level 7 Diploma Qualified, based in Nottingham and specialising in complex relationship issues and emotional difficulties, including complicated relationships & situationships, anxiety, depression, avoidance, narcissism, people-pleasing, boundary

21/06/2026

Very pleased to pass the exam for my Level 7 Diploma. Only took erm, six years 💪☺️

next step is NCPS registration, and then UKCP registration next year when I have all the client hours ⏰️

19/06/2026

There used to be a telephone in people's houses connected to each other by long wires. It was generally accepted that if there was a phone in the house that, as the norm, if they were at home, someone would answer it when it rang.

Admittedly this wasn't great when phoning and needing to encounter your friend's mum or dad 😱 But what the landline phone represented was an availability of social contact as the norm, while still allowing the choice of not to answer. As opposed to what we have now, which is that unavailability has become the norm.

There are some good reasons and benefits of that new norm, because too much easy availability can be people-pleasing and self-abandoning. But, I do also believe things have swung too far towards social disconnection in the new norm, where it seems to need a lot of effort and energy to reach out and make contact. ☎️

18/06/2026

Higher cortisol at lower temperatures. Something I didn't know until today is that one reason we can feel better in spring/summer is not specifically due to sunshine; it's because of the warmer ambient temperatures.

In cold temperatures the body is under stress working harder to maintain its internal temperature, which means an increase in cortisol level, i.e. the stress hormone. This means in cold weather the nervous system response is slightly elevated and the body has reduced capacity to deal with other stresses, i.e. less emotional resilience, potentially leading to higher anxiety or depression compared to the same situations occuring in warmer weather.

The impact might not have been so noticeable a few years ago, but with winter heating bills becoming so expensive the impact on people living in cold temperatures through the winter will have increased. So it's something I'll be thinking about as we approach autumn and winter, both for myself and my clients, as part of an overall 'wellbeing' picture, in how to reduce bodily stress and maximise resilience. 🔥 🚒

17/06/2026

It's Loneliness Awareness Week and it's also the week of announcement of social media ban for U16s. I really hope these will go together, and not against each other. And obviously it doesn't help to ban social media without attending to the underlying deficit in social & family connection and activities for children. But, I'm still really encouraged for Gen Alpha that a generation will grow up with less exposure to online addiction and harm, and hopefully a more balanced use of technology to facilitate social connection, rather than isolate people into disconnection and loneliness. 🤖 🤞

11/06/2026

Unmet Needs. This is the deficit between the psychological needs we're receiving and what we actually need for good individual emotional wellbeing, or good healthy relationships. In the context of cumulative abuse or neglect, this deficit might've been created a long time in the past and persists into present-day.

Individual needs are things like routine and mental stimulation and to some extent we can provide these to ourselves. However relational needs can only be met by others, and are things like safety & security, feeling valued, feeling understood.

In theory, if things are good in life, then it doesn't take specific effort to go and get our needs met because it's already happening as part of living a fulfilling life. It's happening out of awareness and taken for granted. However when life is tough, and there's a deficit created, particularly if the need is rooted in the past, it may take conscious effort to go and close this gap in order to feel better.

This can sometimes go against other instincts, which doesn't feel intuitive, for example the need to withdraw and close-off from others can be eased by seeking some social contact. Whereas to actually withdraw might temporarily feel better, but may also be further increasing a deficit which may later feel worse overall.

I know it's considered 'pop psychology' but I think Chapman's 'The Five Love Languages' is an easy way to start the conversation in a relationship on what the deficits might be. Not necessarily in closing the gaps overnight - but in working out the reasons why there's a gap, and where does the underlying need come from, and what does it represent, and does this relationship need to satisfy it, or can it be met elsewhere.

We all have needs for our emotional wellbeing and it's just a question of how we each choose to fulfil these, and what barriers are in the way. There is increasing awareness about social isolation and harms of social media (he says, typing this to put on the internet) and it may take more effort now and more discipline to go and reach out and get what we each need. 🌱

06/06/2026

Death and existence. I thought I'd dive straight into the deep stuff this morning 💪

When going deeper and seeking to discover the cause of any kind of emotional difficulty, it's interesting how often it arrives at a place that involves death or existence.

The existential terror of abandonment. The fear of not achieving 'enough' in this life, or not leaving a legacy. The fear of the world being unsafe. The existential dread about the future, and 'bad things' ahead. The grief for the ticking clock of this life, and our past choices. Our grief for those who are no longer here, including our ancestors; or our mortality in raising children who will outlive us. Even the changing of the seasons, from summer into winter. And so on.

I don't really believe in using therapy for reassurance, and telling people 'it'll all be fine', particularly not when the underlying theme is at an existential level. I also don't believe that mindfully 'being in the present moment' is a feasible solution in the long term.

I look for the underlying cause of the difficulty, look at the original fear or needs and what they represent, and see what deficit exists in present-day and how a person can fulfil these. And with that, the existential fears or difficulty starts to feel eased. 🪦🌷

04/06/2026

Online low-cost counselling & therapy based in Nottingham

I specialise in complex relationships and all kinds of emotional difficulties.

This might include unhealthy or abusive relationships; separations; situationships; emotional unavailability and avoidance; manipulation, narcissism and toxic behaviours; trauma-bonds; people-pleasing, boundary issues, resentment, etc.

Typically these situations occur through the history of how we grow up which leads to an insecure attachment style.

I'm here to help with making changes; identifying old patterns; building self-esteem and resilience; setting boundaries; and empowering people to choose a new path with new experiences for the future that break away from the old patterns and allow better quality of life.

Easy online booking system, low cost and free consultation 🔗
www.jon-psychotherapy.co.uk