06/07/2026
What things do you do to get through when life feels tough?
This week is Alcohol Awareness Week and the theme is “Alcohol and me.”
Now, before anyone thinks I’m here to judge, I’m really not.
Life is hard enough without someone wagging a finger at you.
But it did make me think about something we talk about in grief recovery called STERBs.
A STERB is a Short-Term Energy Relieving Behaviour.
In plain English, it’s something we reach for to take the edge off emotional pain.
For some people that might be alcohol. For someone else it might be food, shopping, scrolling, overworking, keeping constantly busy, exercising to excess, or always looking after everyone else so they don’t have to stop and feel.
And I get it.
These things often start because they help us survive something.
They help us get through a day, a week, a loss, a shock, a change, or a time when we simply don’t have the energy to deal with one more thing.
After my Dad died, shopping was definitely one of mine.
The difficulty comes when the thing that helped us cope becomes the only way we know how to cope.
Because a STERB might soothe us for a while, but it doesn’t heal what is underneath.
If you recognise this in yourself, please don’t use it as another reason to beat yourself up.
Be kind to yourself.
Most coping behaviours begin because, at some point, we were just trying to get through.
But there does come a point where we may need a safer space to look at what is really going on underneath.
At Enlivened, I support people through grief, loss, change and life’s tougher transitions with kindness, honesty and no judgement.
You don’t have to carry it all on your own.
Have you heard of STERBs before?
