20/07/2026
Problems! The bain of many a person's life. We love judging them, complaining about them, we might even make a living out of having them, but what exactly is the origin of a "problem"?
Well, first off, it's probably best to define what I mean about problems. There are 2 types in my book, the ones we solve and the ones we collect.
Problems, like maths puzzles, are just that, an *opportunity* to flex our abilities and rise to a challenge.
However, the problems we amass tend to be the ones we haven't solved yet. Add to that sometimes we make a problem out of having problems. We all know someone that does that. Maybe if we're honest, we do that too.
The problems we get stuck on are the ones where our ego is involved. Ego's are notoriously opinionated, inflexible and adverse to change. Ego's like the status quo to be as it is, maybe even a little bit worse for sympathy. Ego's LOVE to be right, they find a sense of security in that, but ultimately what egos do is stifle growth.
In order to solve or dissolve a "problem" we must surrender our ego. Problem solving requires an open and curious mind. There has to be a degree of faith and optimism in problem solving or we wouldn't start. There also has to be an element of being willing to have our beliefs proved wrong and to come to new conclusions.
Ego's exist to keep us safe, but they also reduce our safety by keeping us stuck.
What's the opposite of ego? Our true self. Our true self is brave and courageous because it doesn't judge. It sees things as they are, rather than good or bad. Our true self doesn't need to be flattered or to receive external validation as it is grounded in its own assurance. Others can disagree, criticise or be insulting of our true self and it doesn't waver. It knows what it is, and it finds strength and certainty in that.
So the next time things don't go to plan and you find yourself being riled by the circumstances, stop and take a step back. All that anger and frustration, that's ego. What you need right now is kindness and compassion towards yourself so that you might let go of your conditioning and find a new path. Softness is key.
It is likely that your response to "problems" has come from your childhood. Many children experience from an early age being asked to be different because they are being "a problem". This teaches children that problems are solved by changing things externally. If you don't like someone, ask them to be different. That's what we do to children constantly with bribery, threats and punishment. It teaches children to be victims to their circumstances, and that who and how they are isn't important.
Thus when we find our ego driving our response to problems, we must hold a compassionate space for all the times other people's egos couldn't see us for who and how we were. We experienced a rejection of sorts that deserves our softness.
Many people rephrase the idea of "problem" to challenge or opportunity. This is a more empowering approach that is founded on the knowing we have what it takes to solve the issue.
Do we need to fix all problems? No. Some problems are signposts to change direction and some are to be part of our scenery. Many, if given no airtime, take care of themselves and others need us to simply let go of the label "problem" and be met with acceptance instead.
Do you have a good relationship with "problems" or do they have the better of you?
