06/08/2026
Have you ever noticed how difficult it can be to rest?
Not because you don't need it. Your body is desperately crying out for it!
But because you feel guilty.
In my last post, I shared that I’ve planned some time away from work to focus on some treatment. And as I’ve been putting those plans in place, I've been reflecting on this a lot.
It's interesting how quickly my mind started producing thoughts like:
"I should just keep going, I shouldn’t let people down."
"I can’t rest until everything is finished."
"Perhaps it’s lazy or indulgent to take so much time off.”
“Will people think badly of me?”
Most of us were never taught that looking after ourselves was important.
We were taught to work hard.
To be productive.
To help other people.
To keep pushing.
Anything less was ‘lazy’, and rest was ‘frivolous’.
So when illness forces us to slow down, it can feel deeply uncomfortable. I know that feeling all too well – and it has definitely reared it’s head as I’ve been planning my enforced break.
But I am lucky that I now know better! Mindfulness has taught me that just because I have a thought doesn't mean it's true.
Feeling guilty doesn't necessarily mean I'm doing something wrong. That’s been a really hard lesson to learn.
But sometimes, guilt comes from challenging an old belief, going against an old, deeply ingrained pattern. That can feel very difficult to begin with.
And we all have these deeply ingrained patterns that ‘I must keep going’. ‘My needs don’t matter’. ‘My worth depends on how much I achieve.’
That last one really hits hard, doesn’t it?! I still struggle so much with letting go of defining my worth by how much I’ve achieved. By how much I’ve ticked off the ‘to do’ list today.
But I have learned that real self-care begins when we start to question those old beliefs and patterns, instead of automatically obeying them.
Because the truth is, my value, and your value, has never depended on how busy we are, how rich we are, or how much we have achieved.
As I enter this period of extended enforced rest, I am once again having to confront that demon head-on, and recognise that I still have worth, and value, even if I am ‘only resting’.
I'd love to know in the comments below: What are you postponing because you’re putting other people’s needs first?