19/12/2019
At this time of year, many new parents can feel overwhelmed, if you're not feeling that way anyway, having just had a new addition to the family!
You've started to get used to each other, you're working out what your baby needs and how they are communicating that. You're getting a bit more used to the broken sleep and are beginning to trust your instincts.
You have your own way of being in the day; whether it's having plenty of time for the two of you at home, or spending time going to baby groups, seeing friends and family, worked around naps and feeds.
And then.
Your partner and children finish for the holidays, and the house is suddenly fuller, noisier, busier. Friends and family start to talk about visiting or having parties, playdates, swapping gifts. Everyone wants to come and visit for baby's first Christmas, which inevitably means lots of "pass the baby" and well-meant advice about what you should/shouldn't be doing.
And it's hard. It's baby's first Christmas. There's an expectation that it's "perfect". And sometimes, there's guilt - I "should" want people to come, I "should" see people and be the perfect hostess.
But it is so important to stop. To remember that you are still in the early days of parenthood, learning the parent dance and trying to get the steps right. It is ok to say no to the visitors, or to say, "Please come, but could you bring dinner?" It's ok not to pass your baby round. It's ok to listen to the advice, nod, but then let it go from your mind. It's ok to take half an hour upstairs, to sit and feed baby quietly. Or to take a walk around the block to get some fresh air. It's ok. You are ok.
A few years ago, my daughter was talking about the nativity, talking about the gifts the wise men brought. Gold, frankincense and myrrh. And how they were odd gifts for a baby. Well, we had the whole conversation about them not knowing Jesus would be a baby, but then she said it was ok. He didn't need anything, because he had his mummy and daddy to hold him and cuddle him and keep him safe. And she's right. That's all your baby needs this Christmas. You.
So, today, take a deep breath and tell yourself you are ok. That you are everything your baby needs and more. Make time to sit and breathe together. To just be, at peace, this Christmastime.
And if anyone asks you what baby wants for Christmas? Some luxury hand cream, bubble bath and chocolates, please! Happy mummy = happy baby ;)
Wishing you a peaceful and happy Christmas.