05/08/2026
While it’s often not pleasant to write or read about others’ experiences of depression, one thing I can say with certainty after a lifetime of experiencing depression, is this:
It DOES pass, eventually.
Depression is the withdrawal of energy/libido, whereby the energy sinks back down, deep into the unconscious, disabling us from being out there in the world for a time.
Therefore, what goes down, must come back up, at some point.
And this has undoubtedly been my own experience: Not matter how truly awful, despairing, hopeless and bleak each depressive episode; eventually a turning point occurs and the energy starts to rise back up again, bringing back a sense of hope, of coming back to myself and feeling able and desiring to go out into the world once more.
Down and in, then up and out. This is the spiral and cycle of depression.
From a part’s perspective, this indicates a part or parts who still carry the depression of my childhood, and I also suspect from my birth or even earlier; my latest episode occurring on my birthday which happens frequently now as I get older. It’s almost as if, the very earliest, youngest part/s of myself call to me each year as I get older and thus they feel more remote, beckoning me and sometimes forcing me to acknowledge that their pain from that dark, bewildering, wholly unconscious time still hurts as much now as it did then.
So that is my task: to hold these parts and to let their feelings flow, no matter how truly horrible they feel and I wish they would just go away.
And to ask my highest-self/soul for help, healing, guidance and support as I stumble blindly in the thick treacle-mire of sadness beyond words, that unfathomable, unknown wilderness of nothing.
Knowing that it WILL pass, there will be a turning point and a return of the light of energy from within. For me it’s usually via my dreams where a nourishing image or scenario gives me access again to the much needed waters of life, something to uplift my soul once more and help me carry on.
Each descent a trial yet also a chance to extract more treasure from the depths of my soul. I hold onto these images and feelings and let them feed and sustain me, with blessings and thanks that my psyche once again knew exactly what I needed.
And so it is.
Angela Dunning
The Horse’s Truth
Art: 'Return of the Blue Equus!' by Carol Carte.